Parents on the Field During Peewee Soccer?

[EdnaMarie]

Really?

My friends were discussing this. Parents on the field for three and four year olds during a game (and practices). Would not let kids make mistakes, etc. Literally were running alongside the child instructing during the game, making sure the child had the ball, and so on.

Is that normal? Oh, God, can I have a time machine?

[GuildJenn]

Well here anyway there actually is a "parent-kid" soccer league where the whole idea is that you do run beside them and play that way. But it's not coaching. The idea is just to do it together like a parent-tot swim.

[EdnaMarie]

Maybe I should suggest that to the youth services program, so that the people who want their child to learn how to interact with a coach and other children independently could do that without big parents tripping over them (literally ). Two leagues, one parent-child and another child-only, no parents allowed.

[*Jessica*]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Really?

My friends were discussing this. Parents on the field for three and four year olds during a game (and practices). Would not let kids make mistakes, etc. Literally were running alongside the child instructing during the game, making sure the child had the ball, and so on.

Is that normal? Oh, God, can I have a time machine?

Are you sure they are on the field for the reasons you listed? When my son was 4 he would only play if my husband or I was on the field running around with him. He wanted to play, but wasn't confident enough at the time to do it without help from a parent. The coach was fine with it. Should I have not let him play because he wasn't ready, even though he wanted to?

[carmel23]

At 3 and 4 years-old, who cares?

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Maybe I should suggest that to the youth services program, so that the people who want their child to learn how to interact with a coach and other children independently could do that without big parents tripping over them (literally ). Two leagues, one parent-child and another child-only, no parents allowed.

I think that is how it works (we didn't actually enroll). I really liked the idea at 3 & 4 though - what a neat family thing to do, build skills but not stress the kids out with trying to follow directions from a coach at the sidelines or in such a large group. But we were doing other stuff.

[jnet24]

Originally Posted by *Jessica*

Are you sure they are on the field for the reasons you listed? When my son was 4 he would only play if my husband or I was on the field running around with him. He wanted to play, but wasn't confident enough at the time to do it without help from a parent. The coach was fine with it. Should I have not let him play because he wasn't ready, even though he wanted to?

Originally Posted by carmel23

At 3 and 4 years-old, who cares?

Both of these were my exact thoughts!

[MJB]

I'm with you. That would drive my 4 yr. old nuts. He's already frustrated that the other kids on his (4-5 yr. old) team don't know the rules and have trouble going the right way, staying in bounds, etc. A bunch of parents on the field and he'd never go back.
A separate parent-child league for the families who desire that sounds like the perfect solution.

[ollyoxenfree]

I'm not sure why an organized league would be necessary though. if all that is wanted is a fun group activity of parents and kids playing together, without formal coaching, then why not call a bunch of families for a friendly, pick-up playground game?

It doesn't seem like there would be any need to create a whole organization to support this kind of thing. It's another example of a trend to formalizing activities and away from free, unstructured, spontaneous play.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

I'm not sure why an organized league would be necessary though. if all that is wanted is a fun group activity of parents and kids playing together, without formal coaching, then why not call a bunch of families for a friendly, pick-up playground game?

It doesn't seem like there would be any need to create a whole organization to support this kind of thing. It's another example of a trend to formalizing activities and away from free, unstructured, spontaneous play.

I'm not sure. It's a good point, but the reality is that in my world we just don't have that many friends that are going to pick up the phone and have time right then or even that week for a friendly pick-up game of soccer. In other words, it's a nice idea if you live in a place where there's the infrastructure already (informal as it is). But in my neighbourhood, not so much.

If it's a bit more organized though, some of us will and then we'll meet other people. Not that we did in this case. But I thought for my son, who at 3 and early-4 still wasn't thrilled about activities where parents basically dropped off or sat way far away, it would have been a good match. We just ended up with enough activities already, and his school was doing some soccer.

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by carmel23

At 3 and 4 years-old, who cares?

It's a big deal if you're getting RUN OVER by another child's parent; if the kids there to learn team interaction skills can't hear the coach; if some kids are basically being individually coached to GETONTHEBALLGETONTHEBALLTHERETHERETHERETHERE (as the mom reporting mimed to me, LOL!) and other kids are learning how to listen to the coach but all they hear is that.

I wouldn't put my kid in a soccer league where half the parents are going to be running around playing coach-cum-bodyguard to their little one.

It would be different if they'd signed up for that, though. Then everyone would. But some parents had babies with them and couldn't go on the field and were apparently yelling (for several practices now) "Hey, watch out for Johnny! Hey, Mr. Whatever, can you... oh."

Now, ultimately this is a coaching problem because she needs to be firm and we told her that. But what is going through those people's heads?

It's another example of a trend to formalizing activities and away from free, unstructured, spontaneous play.

Well that's kind of hard in a town with 80% of households having two working parents, and a law against children going out alone before they are nine. As idyllic as it may sound.

Are you sure they are on the field for the reasons you listed?

Well, none of them went up to the coach and asked to accompany their child because the child was shy. Most of them, she said, entered the field later when they apparently believed the child was not doing well enough. Giving specific instruction, coaching loudly.

Should I have not let him play because he wasn't ready, even though he wanted to?

Sounds like a reasonable question.

Should I have not let him play because he wasn't ready...?

To me, does not. Then you can add, "But he really wants to!" But I don't think "he really wants to" is convincing. My child really wants ice-cream for dinner. She kept whining on and on about it. She had a plan to make it happen. But guess what.

I don't accompany my daughter to unaccompanied activities. If she's not ready, she's not ready. That's okay. She's small. There's always next year. There are lots of things she wants to do, for which she is not qualified because of her age. We deal with it. Sometimes, she bucks up and goes for it. Other times, she misses out and practices at home. Still others, she finds something else entirely.

I thought that was... standard.

[mom2happy]

My 5 yr old started soccer the other day.
We leave it to the coach.
The parents who get all involved drive me crazy. They are control freaks and make the sport NOT fun for their kids.
The kids run all around and the ball goes where it goes. They have a great time and it's fun to watch.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Well that's kind of hard in a town with 80% of households having two working parents, and a law against children going out alone before they are nine. As idyllic as it may sound.

Um, I don't quite understand. If parents have time to take their children to organized league play, why wouldn't they have time for a pick-up game instead?

I don't have any problem with kids playing in organized leagues. My own kids played soccer from age 4 or 5 and hockey from age 5, as well as other league sports from time to time - basketball, softball, etc. They participated in other activities - dance, swimming, etc. - at an earlier age. It just seems odd that if parents want to get out on the field and play with their own kids, they would need a league to do it. Particularly if the activity that they have signed the child up for is meant for children only on the field. Let the kids play and let the coaches coach.

I suspect that the parents who can't stay off the field with their 3 y.o.'s will eventually end up as volunteer coaches for their kids' teams.

[EdnaMarie]

If parents have time to take their children to organized league play, why wouldn't they have time for a pick-up game instead?

What is the difference? Either way you have to plan ahead. This is not a formal league. It is literally a few parents with support from the local youth organization.

It just seems odd that if parents want to get out on the field and play with their own kids, they would need a league to do it.

My feelings EXACTLY.

I suspect that the parents who can't stay off the field with their 3 y.o.'s will eventually end up as volunteer coaches for their kids' teams.

Here is the kicker. They actually were DESPERATE for coaches, and individually called every home letting them know they needed people. They even said you didn't need experience with kids OR soccer, just please, somebody, because their volunteer quit at the last minute (it's a military thing).

My friend (who doesn't even have a car) volunteered the day before cancellation because she wanted this for her kid. None of these parents volunteered, and none of them asked her if she needed help. WTH? Because they only want to help THEIR OWN KID.

Yeah, there's community spirit for you.

However, that is a separate issue. Nobody has to volunteer and lack of civic involvement doesn't shock me, even in the military. >:~{ What amazes me is that people hover over their kids like that when, as you point out, if they want to teach their own kids soccer skills, they could just... take them to the park.

[operamommy]

Sorry, but those parents drive me crazy too. My 4-year-old has played soccer twice now, and both times the field was full of parents. It's my opinion that if your child isn't ready to be on the field by himself (which is fine!) then he's not ready to be involved. It's VERY frustrating to watch your kid's play/fun be disrupted because so-and-so's mom or dad is in the way.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Um, I don't quite understand. If parents have time to take their children to organized league play, why wouldn't they have time for a pick-up game instead?

I don't have any problem with kids playing in organized leagues. My own kids played soccer from age 4 or 5 and hockey from age 5, as well as other league sports from time to time - basketball, softball, etc. They participated in other activities - dance, swimming, etc. - at an earlier age. It just seems odd that if parents want to get out on the field and play with their own kids, they would need a league to do it. Particularly if the activity that they have signed the child up for is meant for children only on the field. Let the kids play and let the coaches coach.

I suspect that the parents who can't stay off the field with their 3 y.o.'s will eventually end up as volunteer coaches for their kids' teams.

I like that our league is separate, since obviously people get really miffed about it.

But there is a HUGE difference between "signing up and showing up" and finding and getting enough parents & kids out for practices and games.

[camracrazy]

My 9 yo was at a judo class for kids ages 6 and up. A kid who looked about 8 or 9 just wasn't getting what the instructor was saying (instructor was even giving him one on one attention), and all of the sudden his dad ran out on the mat and started doing the moves and placing his son in the correct positions, etc. He stayed out there for the rest of the class (about 30 minutes!). I really don't get it! I saw a something my kid was doing wrong, but I just waited until we got home and showed her what the instructor was talking about. She picked it up right away and didn't have the awkward feeling of me jumping into the middle of her class!

We also do soccer and while I gaven't seen any parents run out in the field they do love to coach from the sidelines! One guy last week was shouting so loudly I'm sure you could hear him two fields over. Luckily the region we are playing for this year doesn't allow that and people will be asked to leave. I guess someone talked to him because the second half of the game was blissfully silent!