Homebirth After 4 Hospital Births?

[kristenyostdc]

My husband and I are planning on TTC in the next few months. We already have 4 wonderful children! I really, really want a homebirth this time. I know he is very nervous about this. I was planning to have a homebirth with our last child but it just really freaked him out to much so I went with a midwife in a hospital. It was a GREAT birth experience. But it wasn't home. Anyway, is there anyone out there who has had a few hospital births and then went on to have a homebirth? Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

[dayiscoming2006]

I have had 2 hospital births and planned a homebirth with my second but wasn't able to do it due to where I was living. But, I think if you really want to homebirth you should collect bunches of material to show your husband how safe homebirth can be and how it is actually safer to give birth at home if you have an uncomplicated pregnancy since hospitals have things like infections, etc that you could avoid if you stay home. Also, most of the time there are more unnecessary interventions done at hospitals. So, get lots of info and show him and explain to him your personal reasons for wanting a homebirth.

[mindfulmomma]

My quick reply is. You have had 4 children. You and your body know what to do. With that said get your partner to read some books about homebirth. My personal reccomendation is Birth Reborn by Michel Odent. Great book.

[Maine Mama Doula]

2 hospital births and the third at home. DH is now a complete HB advocate. Does your husband need to talk to another man who has been there?

[Mrs.Music]

Maybe have your husband watch The Business of Being Born? I know that convinces a lot of people. I had 2 (unplanned) hospital births, and this is my 3rd attempt at an OOHB.

[sweeetpea]

I had two hospital births, then one homebirth. DH was not completely on board, but knew that I knew a heck of a lot more about birth than he did. Now he brags about the homebirth to anyone that listens.

there is a yahoo group for NoVa homebirthers. You can get a lots of support and information there, as well as help your DH maybe get together with some other local dads who have btdt.

[MegBoz]

ITA with PPs. Unfortunately though you may have some difficulty with the usual educational materials like the movie BoBB - telling him how awful a medically-managed, "pushed" birth can be doesn't help things if you both already know first-hand that the MWs at your particular local hospital are actually great, KWIM?

At least that's the case for me. I had DS at a hospital with CNMs & it really was a great experience. The CNMs are awesome, nurses were fantastic. I totally recommend the place.

That being said, I still am planning HB for #2! DH had some reservations but has really gotten over it. I was sold within months of DS birth & he has also been on board for a while now - well in advance of us conceiving #2.

Maybe have him interview a HB MW you'd consider using. A lot of ladies have posted this really helped their DH.

I remember my DH saying, "Yeah, but you were fine with the hospital."
But actually, I accidentally did all my laboring at home & fought the urge to push on the ride there! I explained to him that I just can't imagine the intensity of transition anywhere but home! & it's quite likely that simply BECAUSE I was home the whole time is why 1st stage went so fast for me, as a first-timer! Under 5 hours.

But with all the facts in the world, I can totally understand how he'll still have a desire for you to be in the hospital "just in case" (again, especially since you already know for a fact it's a decent hospital, it's tougher to argue this case.) I would recommend respecting his fears, but telling him that you being emotionally comfortable in your chosen birth facility is really important, and you would hope that he'd use his intellect to make his decisions - realize HB is a rational, wise choice, and use that factual knowledge to help calm his emotional fears.

[wendybird]

I had 4 hospital births, then #5,6,and7 at home. My husband is a die hard homebirth advocate now . The differences we experienced were amazing and we can't imagine going back to the hospital unless there was dire need. After our first homebirth we sat as a family in our candlelit living room and sang Happy Birthday to the baby as a family and ate birthday cake while watching a movie in our pjs...there was no transition to being a family of 7...with the birth we were a cohesive unit. In the hospital I always adjusted to my new baby, then came home and adjusted again to life.
Good luck with your decision!