Talk to me about tot school!

[kriket]

Education is very important to DH and I. So far, we have been 'teaching' DS things that is is already interested in. Trying to push him *just a little* by teaching him new signs, saying the color of things he brings us, pointing to words and pictures as we read them, you know

I was reading another thread that mentioned Tot school. From what I can tell, it's intentional play time! I am very interested in this! Has anyone done this? How much structure was involved? What kind of things did you do?

DH and I are especially interested in teaching language skills. I think it's a little bit of a bummer that DS only uses one work. KeyKey, the name of our cat. EVERYTHING is a KeyKey. He knows a lot of signs, and uses them so we know he's not delayed or anything. Plus, I have heard boys talk later than girls. We just have some well meaning family Our niece is 2m younger than DS and as been talking up a storm for months. I was putting together short sentences when I was DSs age. So I have mom thinking we don't read or talk to DS

I just have so much I would like to share with my son, music, literature and science. I kind of have ants in my pants!

[kriket]

no one?

[annettemarie]

The only time I've ever heard of it is on this blog:
http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.com/TotSchool.html

Is that what you meant?

[AllyRae]

Yep, I'm pretty sure that's what Tot School is, since she coined that phrase. I love that blog, and along from the Toddler Tuesday montessori-based activities on http://onehookwonder.blogspot.com/, that's a lot about what I blog about with my toddler. We're only doing a "tot school" so to speak because we have a 3 year old we're homeschooling using Montessori, and my toddler always wants in on the action. :

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by kriket

no one?

Okay, I always have something to say in situations like this. I highly recommend letting go of any intentions to change his particular developmental pattern, and to instead just take delight in exactly who he is and what he's doing right now. By the time music, literature, and science can have any important meaning for him, he'll have been talking just fine for quite a while. In the meantime, he's absorbing his new world in his own way, and getting accustomed to his growing body and movement skills - and important stage of life - and this time is going to fly by before you know it. Don't miss a moment by wishing he were older and doing things he'll be doing in good time. He'll be educated by the time it matters, but this time of development is a crucial part of the long journey - he isn't missing a thing by not being ready to move on to another stage yet. Music, literature, and science will still be around when he's old enough to take part in them, but maybe you can find some other outlets for yourself in regard to those things in the meantime.

You can gently educate your family that each child has a different pattern of development, and that they don't do it all at once - the physical takes the lead sometimes, and that's just fine. Seems to me Einstein started speaking pretty late, by the way - sometime between 3 and 5. There's absolutely no advantage in a child starting any of it early - they have their own unique and important development and experiences to go through, and the rest will come in due time. Here's a page of links to articles on the subject, as well as links to web pages that have fun ideas for age appropriate activities.

Have fun!

- Lillian

[AllyRae]

LOL, no offense intended, but I can't say how much I hate the whole "Einstein didn't talk until he was 3" thing. For 2 reasons: 1) Einstein wasn't a typical child OR typical adult. His results do not generalize to the general population. Most children who don't talk until 3 won't turn into savant geniuses. and 2) As a parent of a child who didn't talk until she was 3 (and also has selective mutism and a host of developmental delays/issues), there's nothing wrong with doing things to encourage speaking. In fact, MOST parents *do* this when they are reading to a child, singing to a child, and talking to a child. When my autistic son (not the one I just talked about who didn't talk until she was 3) stopped speaking at 12 months old, a zillion people here and in other places said "don't worry...Einstein didn't talk until he was 3"...well, maybe Einstein was on the spectrum or something, but that doesn't mean his path is the same as my child's path...

Tot School isn't really anything that will make your child a genius. It's just "playing with a purpose". Many toddlers are stuck in front of the tv watching baby einstein or play with toys that have no real educational value (toys that talk/sing/play for the kid, etc.) Tot School involves preparing the environment so the child has toys that have educational value to it and that aid in the development of certain skills (eye-hand coordination, pincher grasp, etc.)

For me, I add in a lot of montessori based activities because we are a montessori family. My 20 month old knows how to put butter on a piece of toast using a pate spatula, knows how to slice her own banana with a pate spatula, knows how to pour liquids using appropriately sized glass, can scrub potatoes & apples, and can mix/scoop/help prepare cookies and other baked goods. Do I do this to make her a super smart highly advanced child? Nope...I do it because she *loves* doing it. She gets the biggest smile on her face when she is independent in cutting her banana. She is excited to scrub potatoes and be apart of the meal making process (since she always wants to be in the learning tower anyhow). In the process, she's also refining her eye-hand coordination, fine motor skills, gross motor skills, colors, counting, etc.

So, yeah, tot school isn't really about school at all. It's more like "creating a prepared environment that is educational and fun". And it's all play.

[Lillian J]

Of course there's nothing wrong with encouraging speaking, but, as you say, "most parents *do* this when they are reading to a child, singing to a child, and talking to a child." I just don't think a parent of a younger toddler needs to be worrying about it. - Lillian

[pigpokey]

Well, maybe you are a good customer for the Your Baby Can Read system. I wonder if it would have saved me some time later, though I don't think it carries massive long term benefits over learning from a parent in the 4-6 yo range.

Now would be a good time to expose him to music, perhaps teach him to listen to notes to identify pitch. If you are doing a second language, this is a good time for immersion so his brain will hear all the sounds. It is a fine time for them to learn to swim if you can find a pool that is very warm year round. It is a good time to be physically active. Many gymnastics centers will offer Mommy and Me free time in the gym.

What do you mean by "education is important to" you? I'm all in favor of efficient, relevant and humane education towards necessary or beneficial adult skills, mind you.

[kathteach]

My opinion is not going to be popular and I'm sure I'll get flamed but at 14 months your son would be considered speech delayed if he only knows one word. My son was speech delayed and I was told by the speech therapist that it is common for children to use the same word for different meanings when they are delayed.

I would really recommend you self-refer to Early Ed., the assessment will be free, if your son needs services they will be free, and if your son doesn't need any speech therapy, well then you can rest at ease.

I kept telling myself the same thing, boys develop later, etc. Even my pediatrician was clueless. I wish I had not waited so long to finally get him evaluated.

I know this is not what you want to hear and feel free to ignore. I just wish someone had told me this.

[AllyRae]

Originally Posted by kathteach

My opinion is not going to be popular and I'm sure I'll get flamed but at 14 months your son would be considered speech delayed if he only knows one word. My son was speech delayed and I was told by the speech therapist that it is common for children to use the same word for different meanings when they are delayed.

I would really recommend you self-refer to Early Ed., the assessment will be free, if your son needs services they will be free, and if your son doesn't need any speech therapy, well then you can rest at ease.

I kept telling myself the same thing, boys develop later, etc. Even my pediatrician was clueless. I wish I had not waited so long to finally get him evaluated.

I know this is not what you want to hear and feel free to ignore. I just wish someone had told me this.

I like the way my dd's pediatrician handled it...at 14 months, she had no words, and hardly any sounds at all. Because my oldest child has autism, he said "she's delayed at this point...let's give her 4 months, and if she's not making significant improvements in speech, we will refer her to EI". That way, we had a plan, but we weren't rushing into it (because honestly, I've had a 12 month old in speech therapy...actually my first two were in that early for things that were far more telling...including my middle child who made no other sounds except high pitched screaming). It was good to have that in place...now, it turns out that at the 4 month mark, she went straight to speaking in sentences. Go figure. :

So yeah, some kids will go from nothing to sentences in the middle of the second year, but some won't...and it's good to let the ped in on it, and then perhaps set a time limit (like if she doesn't have 4 words by 18 months, then he'll make a referral, etc.)

[tankgirl73]

at 14 months your son would be considered speech delayed if he only knows one word. My son was speech delayed and I was told by the speech therapist that it is common for children to use the same word for different meanings when they are delayed.

Um, no flames, but with all due respect I don't think that's true at ALL. 14 months is WELL within the normal range of starting to talk. Lots and lots and lots of kids don't have any words, or more than one word, until 15, 16 months or more. And I'm quite sure I've read on many developmental lists etc that it's the expected norm for kids to label everything with the one or two words they know.

Perhaps some define that as "delayed" but what does "delayed" mean? The same way that "overdue" is used to bully pregnant women into inducing, even though in reality they're still well within the normal range? It seems to often be used as "delayed" just meaning "slower than many other kids" but with no real explanation of what that means in the long term. If they're "delayed" now are they ALWAYS going to be "delayed"? Are they going to suffer and have serious difficulties? Do they have learning disabilities?

It seems to me that most babies labelled as "speech delayed" end up being just fine. With or without early interventions, by the time they're 6 or 7 there's no differences between them and early talkers.

Of course there ARE kids for whom speech delays are true warning flags, but 14 months??? Heck no.

And while I know that the plural of anecdote is not data, here's my anecdotes. DD was a late talker. Despite us doing lots of signing, she didn't start signing back until 13mo. Didn't have her first spoken words until 14-15mo, and then it was only "shoe". By 18mo, she had only a handful.

By age 2, she was fully 'caught up' and now at almost-4, she's WAY ahead of the curve, in all areas not just language. She's doing true kindergarten-level work, reading and doing math and drawing beyond the usual for her age. By your definition, she would have been called "speech delayed"... but so what?

And my brother was "speech delayed" too. Didn't say a word until he was 3. Then one day he just said "hi mom and dad, what's for breakfast today?" He's also a highly gifted and successful man now.

In other words.. well, not talking much at a certain age is certainly something to watch (like AllyRae said, see if there's still a problem in 4 months, for instance), but just taken by itself does NOT mean a speech delay. There has to be many other factors in play to say there's a problem with just one word at age 14mo! Again like AllyRae said -- there were other obvious issues that meant early intervention made sense.

[tankgirl73]

Anyway, to answer the original question by kriket.

Tot School, I don't think it's any particular method or philosophy. It's more like a kind of community for parents doing some schooly-stuff with their youngsters and blogging about it. Everyone who does "Tot School" does it independently and in their own way, then blogs with a Tot School logo so it gets linked together and they can check out what others are doing for ideas and inspiration. I've done a little bit of Tot School blogging. But that's all it is, as far as I know.

If you're looking for solid ideas and philosophies for young kids' education, I'd first suggest to read everything Lillian says.

Then I'd suggest you read up on Montessori. It's been mentioned already that a lot of Tot School bloggers use a lot of Montessori principles and activities. That's what we did when DD was a toddler too. It was just fantastic. One of Dr Montessori's core discoveries/beliefs was that young children are naturally drawn to the activities that are ideally suited to their current state of development. In other words, when the brain is growing its ability to sort things, for instance, the child will be drawn to sorting activities and almost hyper-focus on them, it's a positive feedback loop, feeding the nerve and synapse growth that is happening anyway.

And so it's especially important when they're very young to have a variety of activities available for them to choose from, and to allow them to choose their activities as much as possible.

Montessori is also very much about practical skills rather than academic skills in toddlerhood. Again, this is because those are the skills that toddlers are drawn to. They want to learn to DO stuff, they're all about becoming capable and independent and "I can do it ALL BY MYSELF!" They don't care if they can read the instructions yet, or count how many are in the box, but they DO care that they can open the box, close the jam jar lid, cut their own toast, put on their own socks, put clothes in the dryer, fold clean clothes, sweep the floor, help set the table... etc etc.

Then, once you have the sense of trust in their natural development, you notice that as they go into preschool and "early elementary" age, they become drawn to those "academic" activities, completely naturally. DD is now almost 4, and somewhat academically precocious -- but she has still come into her interests unforced. She is reading, because she wanted to read. She's doing K-level math, because she loves numbers and playing with numbers and figuring out how to add numbers together. She always loved numbers but at age 2 would not have wanted to do any "activities" designed to teach or work with numbers. Now, she does. She loves it. So I go with it, because I figure her brain is just growing some math synapses right now so she's feeding it.

[lach]

That Einstein was a late talker is an urban legend. He liked to tell that story, but according to his biographers his family all agree that he was an early talker. He was only two when his sister was born, and the family story is that he asked why his sister didn't have any wheels. Apparently, he had been told that he would have a new sister "to play with" and he thought he was getting a toy.

As for late talking, my son was/is a late talker. But more importantly, he had virtually no receptive language at his 15 month appointment. Until 2, receptive language is much more important than spoken language. His pediatrician recommended an EI evaluation. Everyone that I knew poo poo'd that idea, saying that boys are always late talkers and giving me lectures about "don't be THAT parent." But we did the EI evaluation, and sure enough his verbal communication skills were nonexistant (while he scored way above average for everything else. Or mean. Whatever 100 is on the scale they use. I don't really know). It turned out that a series of ear infections last winter had REALLY interfered with his hearing, and he couldn't hear or understand pretty much anyone. He got by being really, really cute and with lots of hand motions and grunts. He had surgery about three weeks ago, and I can't tell you how much he's advanced since then. He now has about 15 words. Not bad for only being able to hear for 3 weeks!

So that's my story about a late talker. I would be more concerned about receptive language than spoken language. If you are concerned, it can't hurt to ask your pediatrician. It's always best to catch problems like this sooner rather than later. Still, provided he understands a lot of what you say, and can follow a one-step direction ("Give me the toy." "Put the block on the table."), only having one word is not outside the realm of normal.

As for tot school, my DD went to a Montessori toddler program for 18-36 month olds and I adored it. She started just after 2. She really blossomed, and had so many opportunities, and learned so much. It was a great experience for all of us. You might want to see if there's something like that in your area.

[CCJWGM]

I've looked at tot school and have used a little bit of it. It's fun. It's easy. It's not putting any academic pressure on the young child.

I also wanted to chime about my own late speakers. Neither of my children are dumb. Quite the opposite. I won't label them gifted either, not because they aren't but because it's another label that gets in the way of who they are. Neither spoke until age 3. DS didn't say anything until 2 (not one word). Then for 1 year his only word was "boo-boo" for nursing. Then suddenly, like his sister, he broke out in complete 5 word sentences and expanded from there. His sister was the same although instead of not speaking one word she spoke her own language. Then, POOF! sentences.

Through out the process listen to your motherly instincts. If you feel your son is speech delayed then take him to a doctor or speech therapy. If you feel that he is just on his own track then don't. Personally, I want to throw out developmental charts out the window. All our children are unique and some just have their own way of developing.

[tankgirl73]

Originally Posted by lach

I would be more concerned about receptive language than spoken language... Still, provided he understands a lot of what you say, and can follow a one-step direction ("Give me the toy." "Put the block on the table."), only having one word is not outside the realm of normal.

:

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by kathteach

My opinion is not going to be popular and I'm sure I'll get flamed but at 14 months your son would be considered speech delayed if he only knows one word.

Really? My kids were signing, but maybe one word by 14-15 months -- both of them. My mom and I were not signing as babies (it wasn't fashionable) and both our baby books put our first words at 14-15 months. We are all high IQ neurotypicals.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by lach

That Einstein was a late talker is an urban legend. He liked to tell that story, but according to his biographers his family all agree that he was an early talker.

I guess it depends on which biographers, because Walter Issacson is one who, in his book, Einstein: His Life and Universe, states that he was slow in beginning to speak. - Lillian

[ocelotmom]

Originally Posted by lach

So that's my story about a late talker. I would be more concerned about receptive language than spoken language. If you are concerned, it can't hurt to ask your pediatrician. It's always best to catch problems like this sooner rather than later. Still, provided he understands a lot of what you say, and can follow a one-step direction ("Give me the toy." "Put the block on the table."), only having one word is not outside the realm of normal.

This is exactly what we went with.

My DS was a late talker. We were concerned, brought it up with our doctor, and went back and forth on whether we should get him tested. However, his receptive language was excellent (at 14 months he had few or no words, but was following multi-step directions), and there was no evidence of hearing problems or any other developmental delays, so we and our pediatrician felt comfortable taking a wait-and-see approach. Somewhere in the 4-ish range he started to really catch up, and now, at 7, his verbal expression is, if anything, advanced.

He is, however, a late reader. We're a bit concerned, and go back and forth on whether we should get testing or intervention. But my gut says that he's just a bit slower in the language development category in general, and will catch up when he's ready, as he did with talking.

DD is more on the verbally precocious side. If she'd been the first and DS the second, I think we would have been much more concerned about his language development or lack thereof. I look back at things I wrote about his verbal skills when he was a similar age to DD, and the contrast is pretty shocking.

On the other hand, maybe if he'd come second, he wouldn't have been as delayed. I don't know how much of this is nature vs. nurture. We talked and read to DS. If anything, he had much more toleration for being read to at a younger age. However, by the time DD came along, we were living with housemates. Between that and DS talking, she undoubtedly has had much more verbal stimulation than he did.

She's also showing signs that she'll be an early reader. The idea of sounding things out comes much more intuitively to her. But again, hard to tell nature vs. nurture - she's spent the past 2+ years watching us work with DS on reading.

So anyways, I think that, in the absence of other signs of problems, 14 months is way too early to be seriously concerned about language delays. Not that keeping an eye on it and putting a priority on making sure he's getting adequate verbal stimulation would be a bad thing, but there's a wide range of normal, and treating someone as broken before there's true evidence of a problem could be harmful.

[OkiMom]

My first at 14 months had maybe 2 words, Mama and Dada. She was a late talker but is sure making up for it now! Shes 3 1/2 now and starting around 3 she started just taking off with her talking and now she won't shut up. Honestly I asked her to be quiet for 2 minutes the other day and her response was "Why mommy?" and then she continued talking. So, not having a host a words by 14 months isn't something to freak out about IMO. However, I would look at the entire picture. DD1's receptive language was great, she understood just about everything we told her and was able to figure out a lot of the other stuff. She was able to get points accross without speech and was never upset or frustrated with people not understanding what she wanted. If you were a little slow with what she wanted she would just show you. Also, my family are pretty much all late talkers, I was "early" by saying my first word at around 18 months.
DD2 on the other hand had probably 5 words by 14 months. Now at 21 months she puts 2-3 words together and picks up words on a daily basis. However, physically shes a lot further behind than DD1, by this age DD1 could climb stairs unassisted, DD2 can't. DD1 was a pro at anything on the playgroud, DD2 still has to have help with almost all of it. I can go on. Every child is different.

As for the original question, Ive heard of Tot School before but I haven't done it. I do some organized activities with my youngest though. For example we do puzzles together (shes good up to a 5 piece puzzle, past that its more like I do it and she cheers every time I put a piece in), lacing beads (I hold the lace, she puts the beads on), tons of art and crafts, bubble time (she loves blowing bubbles), reading lots of stories.. etc.. Honestly anything more organized for that and it sets us up for a meltdown. She has a very strong opinion of what she does and doesn't want.
As for encouraging speech, I label EVERYTHING for her. Something I didn't do with DD1. We also talk about things a lot. Ill explain what Im doing, why Im doing it, what happens when I do this or that. Like when I turn on the AC unit Ill tell her "Im going to go turn this little black dial two clicks, when you turn it the air conditioner will turn on. Im turning it on because its getting hot in here and Im uncomfortable." It takes a while to do just about anything but Im hoping some of the words stick. At least now when shes hot she comes up and says "AC on" over and over until I turn it on instead of screaming because shes hot. DD2 is also very curious about things and will bring me things and ask "what" so I will label it and tell her about it. For example she brought me the whisk the other day (yea, my kids are allowed in the kitchen) so I told her "thats a whisk, I use it when I need to beat something like eggs" which of course lead her to pulling me towards to kitchen so I could show her how it worked.

At this age, life is a great teacher. You dont' really need a set schedule or set of activities. Children generally WANT to shadow you and have you explain what you are doing and why. Just adding them into whatever you are doing really helps. Im not an unschooler but at this age I wouldnt' think anything other than inclusion into your daily life and some mommy and me activities are needed. In fact it might be overwhelming to the child to have anything mroe than that done. I know my girls at that age got overwhelmed if to much was thrown at them or if I was trying to change what they were doing to often.