Did you feel differently about your VBAC baby? - Page 2

[shells_n_cheese]

Originally Posted by MsBlack

This is something I hear about, from my vbac mamas...not that they love their csec babies any less, or their vag birth babies more...it's more about that birth bliss, and the surge of hormones that is satisfied in it's reason for being upon giving birth, I think.

I never had a "birth high" after my HBAC. I was expecting it, as everyone gushes about it, but it never came.

[MissE]

No...I felt the same about both babies, even though it took about two weeks to really accept DS as mine. We still bonded. I also never had a birth high, with either one of my children. I didn't turn into mama-bear right after birth that would kill for their child right away. It took some time.

[odenata]

I felt differently, I suppose. With my c-section baby, I felt intensely protective of her. I felt like I had failed in my first act as a mother but not giving her a gentle birth. I adored her, but I felt guilty and sad. I remember rocking her as a baby, crying, telling her how sorry I was.

With my VBAC baby, I was able to just love him not feel so scared for him. I was able to enjoy his babyhood more.

I wouldn't say I bonded more or that it was quicker, but the experiences were different.

[MsBlack]

Originally Posted by shells_n_cheese

I never had a "birth high" after my HBAC. I was expecting it, as everyone gushes about it, but it never came.

Not everyone does...I'm sure that there are many individual variations, given people's different personalities and such. It's something that does occur for many--but not all--women...lots of variation on normal

[kdaisy]

Originally Posted by Amynf1

I do. I am much more bonded to my VBAC baby. I love my son and we are very bonded but it took time. he was also very colicky and cranky and I really didn't enjoy the first few months very much. I also had some PPD and a rough recovery from my c/s. That said, with my daughter, the bond was immediate. I only had to hold her to have afterpains because of all the natural oxytocin flowing. It seems like our bond is so much more intense and it happened very quickly. At first I felt really bad that my son missed out on all of hat and I still do but I also realize that it is what it is and he and I have our very special own thing going on so I make sure that he gets enough so he never feels like he's missing out.

My experience exactly!

[MudLotus]

Babycatcher 12, this is exactly my thesis research. I am looking at the differences in mother's feelings towards their infants based on method of delivery, c-secton and vaginal birth. There is research out there that demonstrates that in some cases there are marked differences. What I hope to do, is hear the stories of women in their own words about any differences they may have experienced. I think that you are very brave for saying how you feel!

[Multimomma]

Mudlotus, I'm very curious about your thesis. How do you control for things like societal expectations? For example, mothers who spend a great deal of time in an environment like MDC might be more upset about an unnatural intervention like csection than those who are surrounded by and accept that csections are the norm.

[crunchybelle]

I was worried about that I would love my vba2c baby more, but I can honestly say that I love her the same amount. However, I do think that I bonded with her faster. The physical recovery was much easier, and I didn't have to deal with the emotional disapointment of a section.

My first section I didn't realize at the time how unnecessary it was and bonded well with ds. The second section was much harder because it was a failed vbac that was again unnecessary that I was bullied into. So there was a lot of anger and disapointment. I did bond with dd, but it took longer because of the emotional devastation. I still feel sad about that.

Now almost a year after my vba2c baby, I can't say that I love any one of them more than the other.

[MudLotus]

Multimomma, that is a great question. I am not controlling for societal factors. I am doing a qualitative narrative inquiry. So, I am asking for women who have had both experiences and feel differently towards their babies. So, in a way the participants are self selecting. My goal is to find out how women perceived their babies differently, what their birth experiences were like and how they made sense of their experiences. My hope is that my paper will provide a resource for mental health professionals who have clients who come to them saying, "I felt instantly bonded with my VBAC baby (for example), but with my c-section baby I feel like something is missing, or I don't recognize them as my own, or I felt disconnected or I even felt hostile..." whatever the case may be. This phenomenon has been documented in the literature and I am very curious about what commonalities the women who have these experiences have. I do of course, have to take into account my own bias towards physiological birth but my interview questions are semi structured, so I ask my participant a broad question about their birth and then prompt along the way as necessary without (hopefully) leading in any way. I will then analyse the material and code for themes. I hope that the outcome will be valuable and that the women that particpate will feel like their pain may come to some good in helping someone else be better understood. ))

[ellairiesmom]

nope-not at all. but i had a positive c section with dd1 & a decent recovery. i was also just soooo excited to be a 1st time mama & to get the little girl (and healthy, perfect one) i had wanted.

my vbac was an amazing, AMAZING birth experience & i felt empowered by it...but connection to dd2 was the same. again, i felt empowered & was really proud etc. and as a pp mentioned, it made me appreciate all i had gone through having a c section with dd1. but i bonded right away with both babes.

off topic-the one thing i couldn't get over & talked about a great deal was the difference in how my body felt the week or 2 after. i probably should have rested more but compared to a c section recovery, this felt like no recovery at all...not having the incision to deal with was unbelievable. i said many times that "it changed the whole ball game".