How To Stop Worrying? Part of me knows it's possibly over nothing the other part thinks otherwise

[gummibears]

I never worried at all with ds. I guess I was blissfully unaware, oh to go back there.

This time I'm always worried I feel something and I rush to restroom looking for blood and hoping to see none. This all got much worse after the false alarm earlier this week with doctor. It somehow made the possibility of complications more real.

Here's the thing. I know this is crazy until I REALLY have something to worry about. Cramps are normal, and breast tenderness comes and goes, so why am I still kinda worried? I guess it's because I don't want us and ds to go through the pain of a loss we are all very attached to this little one - which is perfectly normal.

I told myself I'd not worry unless I saw blood. Yet a part of me starts to get worried now and again. Hunger gone something wrong? I feel fine something wrong. I KNOW it's silly but why am I feeling it if I KNOW this is crazy?

Anyone else have these conflicting parts? How do you deal? This is not over-taking my life or anything. It comes and goes - more than comes, but still... how to relax and trust that side of me that says this is crazy?

Actually, in perfect self-therapy mode, just saying these things "out loud" really made it click how it's rather odd and without cause. Heh. Free therapy anyone?

[greenmulberry]

I had this same problem. I had a terrible bleed a couple of weeks ago. It made me crazy with fear for a while. I know the feeling of terror when you wipe and check the paper. I still cringe a bit every time I wipe.

Honestly, I just took it very easy (per Drs orders), and told myself that if it was meant to be, it would be, but no amount of worrying was going to help. I feel 90% better now mentally.

I occasionally come here and post what I am feeling and the more experienced ladies confirm it is normal. that helps boat loads and I am so glad they are hear to help us worrywarts.

[greenmulberry]

Oh honey, I just re read and realized you didn't have any bleeding.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am finding out that you can have all KINDS of scary symptoms and things are still A OK!!!!

When you feel something is off, post it here, and you will find so many others agree that it is normal.

[gummibears]

Yeah, I never bled but I had constant pelvic and lower back pain that didn't get any better - only worse. I called nurse for reassurrance and was told I needed to come in not "it's normal" so, things progressed to where it is now.

I also was doubtful I was pregnant this time as it didn't feel like it did before and we weren't trying this time due to moving (yeah, what they say about that is true, lol) The looking for blood is still disbelief that it finally happened, I think and just making sure because it's good to know what's up.

Other than that it's just my being too worried. We have a lot going on in personal life and I think that might be part of it, too. Moving/painting worries on that and pregnancy and all. (I talked about it to doctor, so that's good) and so on.

DS just has been so cute and loves his sibling so much it'd pain me to tell him if anything happened. When everything else is gone, I think THAT is the big worry (not that we want to go through a loss, we naturally don't) but I think it's more my worries how he'd take it that was doing it.

I've been better since I posted this. I take it easy when I get to where I worry and that's not too hard as I'm self employed from home, so I can rest when needed with little difficulties. Sometimes getting it out there and seeing how crazy it is works. It's no longer in your head and you see it objectively - something that's hard to do with thoughts. I know what will happen will happen and nothing we do can stop it. I think that's part of it too - feeling helpless should something happen.

It's not even that I really think it would happen, but the what ifs. I mean I'm in early 30s had no complications with other pregnancy not high risk that I'm aware of. There's literally no basis for the worry other than the unknown factor.

Then, a small part of it is being so darn forgetful about everything but insane MS with DS almost 8 years ago, LOL. If I'd had them closer together I bet I would have been like "Ok, that again... yep... ho hum." lol.

And yes, the ladies here are great. Many times I learn things that I'd not thought to ask about from other's posts. Its a fabulous forum, indeed.

I have a feeling that our little ones will be just fine when it's said and done.

[WifeofAnt]

Sorry if I totally hijack this post.

You sound a little like I did. I had barely any breast tenderness but had very uncomfortable cramps around weeks 6-7... (no morning sickness at all) then the crazy anxiety kicked in. I'd wake up to pee in the middle of the night and pace back and forth through the house worried about anything and everything. For a while I even thought I'd made the stupidest mistake of my life by wanting a baby. DH was going to be deploying again right after the birth, our lease ends right before my due date, we didn't have enough money to buy everything we thought we'd need, and I was (and still am) only 20! Sure we'd been married for over a year and a half at that point but we'd only been living together for 4 months because of training and deployment. I was worried about absolutely everything.
The worst day of it all was the night before our first appointment and ultrasound. I was sure at that point something had gone wrong and I had a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage. I tried to make sure I still looked happy for DH but I thought it was all over. In my strange fog of anxiety it was okay because then we could stop trying and wait to have a baby until we were really ready.
We got to our appointment and when he started the ultrasound and turned the screen towards me I absolutely melted. It was so clear (I was 10 weeks) that I could see his little toes while he kicked around in there. I couldn't take my eyes off of him for the rest of the scan. All the doubt I had was gone and I just loved him. I spent the rest of the day going over that in my head instead of all the worry. After all with how I felt there was no room for the worry. I had a *perfect* little baby alive and kicking, growing inside of me.
I still get the anxiety sometimes but now that I'm further along and he's bigger he always end up letting me know that he's okay and as long as he's okay I'm okay.

[gummibears]

Yes, it's something like that. The U/S is always so reassurring. Until you show or see them it really is so scary. There's little real signs anything is going well at this point. No MS (I'm used to being pathetically sick... it still might be coming, LOL I'm going into 6 weeks now.)

Once you hit 2nd trimester it's more of a downhill slide. You can feel they are fine and you have clues. It's the not knowing that plays tricks on the mind.

Looks like yours turned out well, and hopefully I'll say the same when I hit 2nd tri (which is a day before DS turns 8.) Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one with these worries and congrats on your sweet little boy!

[I Need Coffee]

Eek, I am just like you! It's just all the unknowns, so scary to me