Frequent waking toddler, and now pregnant

[penstamon]

I know many of you are (were) in this same boat, so I would appreciate some advice. I just found out I was pg last week and the fatigue is already setting in horribly. When I don't sleep well at night I feel dizzier and more nauseous when NOT pg, so you can imagine what I am going through and how much worse it will get (I'm only 4.5w pg). DS is almost 14mo and will wake 3-5 times most nights. Some bad nights are 8+ wakings and I always have to nurse back to sleep. He thrashes around in bed and keeps me up. I get so stressed these nights I barely sleep. DH helps with the nighttime parenting but DS will freak out if he really wants me and it will escalate to a long tantrum so I just nurse instead. He has molars on the way, but who knows how long until they are in.

DH has been a trooper though he is not happy with our situation. He has honored my refusal to CIO even though he does not want DS nursing all night anymore and has a hard time with the nightwakings. We have fought over this for a year and he has really held up his end with helping and gentle parenting. Now that I am pg, I agree we need a change for everyone's sake and I don't want to have both kids in bed when the baby comes. My last pg I had to sleep with a huge body pillow to get comfy enough to actually sleep after around 20 weeks or so and this can not happen with DS in bed- not safe and no room.

We are moving into a bigger house in 1.5 mo and DS will have a room right next to ours. We plan on getting him a full size mattress to lay on the ground so either DH or I can sleep with him when the need arises. Right now we do not have another place for him to sleep and if I leave I will be stuck on the couch. I would like to gradually night wean before the baby comes too. These things will have to happen over time because it is what is right for our family, so please no negativity about our decisions. What I really need is wisdom on how to gradually and gently get DS sleeping at least a little better, out of our bed, and not nursing until morning. TIA

[Marissamom]

you may be surprised how quickly the night waking diminishes when he's in his own room. we moved my just-turned-16-month-old DD into her own room two weeks ago (in the same boat as you, mine will be 22 months apart), thinking she would wake up halfway through the night and want into our bed. nope, she's slept through the night every night for two weeks, where before we were nursing 5-6 times a night. I think we were all just waking each-other up when we were in one bed. If you can, get the mattress ahead of time so he can get used to it (using it for naps and/or the first part of the night) to make the transition easier, but it really will get better when your DS has his own space.

[penstamon]

Originally Posted by Marissamom

you may be surprised how quickly the night waking diminishes when he's in his own room. we moved my just-turned-16-month-old DD into her own room two weeks ago (in the same boat as you, mine will be 22 months apart), thinking she would wake up halfway through the night and want into our bed. nope, she's slept through the night every night for two weeks, where before we were nursing 5-6 times a night. I think we were all just waking each-other up when we were in one bed. If you can, get the mattress ahead of time so he can get used to it (using it for naps and/or the first part of the night) to make the transition easier, but it really will get better when your DS has his own space.

Congrats! 22 months is a good spread I think you may be on to something about moving him sooner rather than later or at least getting him used to the mattress. Last night DH put him back in his crib at 3am after his third waking and he stayed there until 6:30- unheard of! Unfortunately I was awake until 5:30 after DS was moved- yay pg insomnia! I think there is just not enough room for us all to be comfy too and I think it is hard to regulate his temp in bed. Plus boob is right there and more tempting.