Leaving 3 yr old overnight

[lorajo]

For our tenth anniversary I planned a 2 night trip for my husband and I to NYC. We will be gone 2 nights - 3 full days.

I have been planning all the things we never usually do with our little one - nice restaurants, shopping, concert at Radio City music hall. museums....

Our daughter just turned 3. She only nurses once or twice a week for about 30 seconds so that should not be an issue.

We are leaving in a little under 2 weeks. I started talking to her about the sleepovers she is going to have at grandma's because I thought it would be good to prepare her. I told her about the fun things they would do and that there would be some new toys for her to play with there. (I got her a play kitchen so that she will have something new to play with while we are gone)

Since I told her about it she has been really clingy with me. She seems terrified about my leaving.

She has never been away from me overnight but has often stayed at my mom's during the day and goes to a sitter's two days a week since she was 13 months.


How can I help her not be so scared about the leaving?? I haven't been talking about it lately because I am scared of making it worse. But I want her to be emotionally prepared / maybe even excited.


Please don't suggest cancelling the trip - it is mostly paid for and it is not a kid trip.

[lach]

Honestly, you probably shouldn't have told her so far in advance. 3 year olds have a shaky sense of time, and she's not sure when you're leaving and if she's now going to wake up one day and you'll be gone. I would really concentrate on telling her over and over again "Mommy isn't going anywhere right now. I will tell you when I go away. Mommy is here right now, and she'll still be here tonight, and she'll be here when you wake up tomorrow. Mommy isn't going anywhere right now."

I've done what you did too many times to count (not about going away, but about trying to "prepare" her for things, both good and bad) and it always backfires because my 3yo just doesn't grasp time yet. She only grasps that the world is sorta a shaky place.

[lorajo]

That is a good point. So I will continue to keep quiet about it until the day before, you think?

[Bluegoat]

Is it possible to have a one night practice run first?

[Norasmomma]

I think that a one night practice run would be good, but she's already stayed the day with your mom, I really don't see a problem with taking her there and leaving her with g-ma for the trip.

My DD started staying at g-ma and g-pa's when she was 2, she's only had one bad night and has stayed the night approximately 20 or so times.

I think as long as she is comfortable there normally it should be just fine. I also agree telling her too soon is not ok with a 3 year old, time is just a whole different realm for them.