Should I tell my landlord about homebirth?

[Earthylady]

I pretty much already know that I'll tell them, but just wondering what others think.

We rent an old country farm home. My landlord is our closest neighbor about a 1/4 mile away. We share fields and sheds and tools and stuff. His parents bought this place back in 1928. So, I wouldn't be surprised if he himself was born here.

I'm sort of afraid to tell him because I don't want to freak them out if they are unsupportive, but I want them to know too because he's often piddling around outside and might see me in labor or giving birth or something and be totally freaked if I hadn't told him.

I don't think I have a RIGHT to tell them and I probably wouldn't except for the fact that they are my neighbors too and might stumble upon an unpleasant scene. I guess my only fear about telling them is if they get upset and tell us no, we can't.

[babyjelly]

I guess if my landlord were my neighbor I might bring it up...but in a casual sort of way. Not a big announcement thing, but as your edd approaches, jus a kind of, oh, btw...when you happen to see him doing other stuff around.
Unless your lease states that you may not birth there, he canNt tell you no. he could say "no birth pool" if aquariums or waterbeds are verboten, though.
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[magentamomma]

none of his business IMHO.

[Partaria]

We're mulling this issue over too. My husband thinks it's only courteous to tell our landlord AND neighbors (we live in an old 19th century house separated into 4 apartments).

I don't know any of our neighbors and honestly I'm not too keen on going door to door to talk about my birthing choices with strangers. I mean if it's noisy it is, I've put up with all night parties at the neighbors before. It isn't ideal, but it's not exactly the WORST either.

Also, we're afraid of telling the landlord because we don't want to give them a chance to say "no" or try to stop us.

I think a sign on the door is just fine. Most people, even if they might be really annoyed at the noise, I don't think are jerky enough to try to get a family in trouble that just welcomed a new baby into the world.

[donutmolly]

We also live next door to our landlords and have had 2 babies here. I might have (or my husband may have) mentioned in an offhand manner that we were planning a HB, but definitely not in a "we're asking your permission" sort-of-way. As it is, my MW has attended 4 births here... and will be here for a 5th this spring! My landlords (although they can be a little grouchy) are sort of tickled that this is a house that produces so many babies!

[MegBoz]

I definitely vote no. None of his business, not worth the hassle if he opposes it - or even if he's just a typical American & thinks you're crazy & putting your baby's life at risk. Why subject yourself to that?

Are you planning to birth outdoors?

Even if you labor outdoors, & he spots you, it doesn't necessarily mean you're planning an HB! It could be simply early labor - most people labor at home a while before going to the hospital, or prodromal labor. Contractions don't always equal "labor"/ time to go to hospital. So I think, all in all, odds are slim he'd even find out even as the next-door neighbor.

[WTHamI?]

I wouldn't tell him either. Just keep your curtains closed if you're actively naked and pushing out a baby. It's none of his business and if he doesn't approve you're setting yourself up for a hassle unnecessarily.

[cloudgazer]

I'd be surprised if they said they didn't want you to have a home birth (and, really, what can they do, unless its a tub issue)?

I would tell them if it helps you feel like you have your privacy when the time comes. I wouldn't want to worry that someone might accidentally come on the scene. If you tell them, you might have peace of mind that they will keep their distance (I would).

[daisymama12]

In terms of landlord-tenant relationships, absolutely not necessary to tell them. You do what you want in your space.
In terms of being neighbours... depends. I guess if they are your friends, but other than that, no need.

[Chula13]

I wouldn't say anything, i personally have no intention of telling our landlord.

[LittleBirdy]

Well here's a vote for telling him, and here's why:

We live in a duplex and went back and forth on whether or not to tell our neighbors (who we don't know at all, we just moved here) about the home birth. We considered telling them we planned to "labor at home" for as long as we could but ultimately ended up not telling them anything.

I ended up being quite vocal during my very long labor. We only had the kitchen window open, but the way the sound carried, apparently it sounded to the neighbors like somebody was out in the woods behind our house moaning, "No no, not again, it hurts!" Thinking that someone was being tortured (and I don't blame them, given my particular choice of words and the fact that it sounded like it was happening outside), they called 911. We live in a really small town, so every cop on duty that night showed up. They were SUPER nice about it, but still... I don't think anyone really wants the police at their birth The neighbors felt awful for calling, even though we told them we're glad we have the kind of neighbors that care enough to not just turn the volume on the TV up and ignore it. We ultimately felt really stupid for not telling them.

So there's one vote for the other side!

[smusiak]

thanks for posting
learned alot
maybe one day when i pay rent my LL will knoice my belly getting bigger lolol
have not told him yet about baby becuse that means we are moving in spring

[OkiMom]

Honestly I haven't had that decision to make but if I did it would depend on how comfortable I was with my neighbors and how close. If I was comfortable or if I was close enough where I was worried someone might think something was wrong then I would tell them but if I wasn't comfortable I wouldn't.
Keep the blinds pulled (unless you like the natural light, Im not a fan of artifical light so mine are always open) and if you want to wander around outside just tell him you are in early labor or trying to get things moving.
I wonder, does he have any children? He might be more open/more comfortable if he had children because it wouldn't be like "Oh my gosh, shes going to drop the baby at my feet" type of thing that it is with some older bachalors (unless hes like my grandpa and had my grandma tell him to go away she would send someone for him when the baby is born).