Help with Gently Weaning 2 year old

[JaguarEyes]

My sweet boy turns 2 on Oct. 2nd and still nurses morning, naptime, bedtime. He would more often even, but he does understand that I will say no other times. I finally succeeded in night weaning about 2 months ago so now he at least doesn't nurse between 9pm and 7am. But he is seriously resisting any more cut backs. I'm trying to very slightly decrease the amount of time he nurses each feeding to slowly decrease supply but don't know what else to do. I am TTC and just want at least a 6 month break between him weaning and new baby being born so that he doesn't feel bad about another baby taking his "mommy milk" and also because I am going back to working outside the house (part-time, in the next few months) so really need to wean in the next 3 months or so. I don't want any big changes to happen quickly for him or all at once, to minimize his difficulty with it all. I thought he would baby-led wean but he shows no interest in that. Any ideas?? Thanks!

[D_McG]

None of the 'tricks' worked for my son and so I didn't even try with my DD to be honest. I weaned session by session. Dealt with whatever upset that caused (hugs, distraction, snacks, whatever). Sometimes it was just riding out a tantrum. I framed it in my head that I was leading us to where we'd ultimately be happier. And we were.

I did about a session per week and it was fine. Lots of wonderful things about the non-nursing relationship to look forward to. I just knew it was the right (for us), natural (for us) thing and we'd be fine.

[JudiAU]

Many toddlers will self-wean while you are pregnant so you might just wait a bit and he will find his own way. Many women loose their milk supply at around 18-20 w and that, with a little encouragement works.

[JaguarEyes]

Thanks for the responses! I think I will wait another month or two, see if I get pregnant, and if I don't right away, start dropping sessions a bit after his second birthday. I didn't know that about losing milk while pregnant! Someone told me that the milk changes a little so toddlers may not like it as much anymore. But, thanks ladies, I appreciate any feedback.

I've really enjoyed nursing but my son is so tall, big and articulate, on top of all the other things I mentioned (38 inches, 32 lbs, speaking in multiple sentences) that I think it's getting close to time to shift away from mommy milk as much as I know it will make him sad for a while.

Thanks again for the help.

[D_McG]

Just a warning. I tried the 'he'll lose interest when I get pregnant' plan and it was a disaster. He didn't lose interest and I was totally unprepared for the nursing aversions that are common in pregnancy. Mine came complete with images of flinging him across the room when he was nursing. My heart sinking when he fell because it meant he might want to nurse, etc.

I made sure to wean my daughter before I dared to have unprotected sex this time. YMMV but nobody warned me and I wish they had!

[JaguarEyes]

DMcG, thanks for that warning. I think as soon as we get back home from a few trips in the next two weeks, I will just start trying to do it slowly but faster than I have been. I didn't know that about pregnancy either!!

[LCBMAX]

Originally Posted by D_McG

Lots of wonderful things about the non-nursing relationship to look forward to.

Could you say more about those wonderful things? I would be helped to have something to look forward to, instead of dreading the time when I won't be offering the cure-all mamamilk.

[D_McG]

I just like parenting non-nursing toddlers better (better than nursing toddlers). The flexibility, the better sleep, better eating, ability to take comfort in other people. Ability to snuggle and not want to nurse. Wearing normal bras, having a sex drive etc.

Other people seem to be able to get all that and maintain a nursing relationship, too. But not I So I no longer feel guilty about it. I'm just done right around the second half of the second year.

[LCBMAX]

Originally Posted by D_McG

Ability to snuggle and not want to nurse.

I just can't even imagine... hmmmm.

[porcelina]

I have to say the same about toddler not wanting to wean during pregnancy. DS was 2 when I got pregnant. I lost milk around 14 weeks, and he dry-nursed until 28 weeks when the colostrum came in (not in copious quantities like milk would be, of course). He was frustrated when there was no milk, but he still got enough out of the comfort that he did not stop. We started supplementing with cow and soy milk, and managed to night wean for the most part, but he is sooo attached to nursing! Here we are at 39 weeks pregnant and he has never lost interest. I had heard many do as well, but others who are really attached apparently never do!

Cutting it session by session seems to make sense. But for us, any cutting has meant serious behavioral repercussions, so we've given up.

[sarah1122]

Just chiming in....

My son is turning two in October as well. He's always been an avid nurser (10-12 times a day) and has resisted night weaning (we've tried every four months for the past year)! If he ever he would ask for milk and I said 'no' there would be a total meltdown.

Then about a month ago he suddenly started to lose interest in mama's milk (nursing maybe 4 times a day). I wondered what was going on and then we found out we're pregnant! I'm only four weeks now but he's already seriously cut back on his own...nursing only before nap and bedtime and 2-3 times at night. He's also breaking the latch himself now and drifting off to sleep on his own as opposed to nursing until he's konked out.

Hoping he'll just wean himself over the next few months...