Lunch Drama

[milosmomma]

Okay, this is not really drama....it's just SO STRANGE.

First, by no means does my daughter have a perfect diet. I'm not tooting my family's horn at all. We try to eating fairly well, but we all enjoy some junky treats. HOWEVER....


DD started Kindergarten this year and was SO excited to eat school lunch in the cafeteria. Fine. We had a talk about making healthy food choices and everyday I'd ask in passing what she'd had for lunch (she seemed to be doing well). 2-3 weeks into the school year, DD came home and asked if she could start bringing her lunch. When I asked why, she said "Because sometimes they don't have healthy choices." Well, okay then.

So, since then I've been packing her lunch. I've made an effort to send decent food that I KNOW that she'll eat. I've been pleased that she's always eaten the fruit that I send.

Yesterday, I was unpacking groceries and telling DD what I'd picked up for her lunches. Out of nowhere she said "Mommy, there are 2 kids that tease me because I bring fruit in my lunch." Wait....WHAT????? It's not like she even brings anything "weird" to school (she has that stuff at home )...it's just an apple or a plum, etc.

She went on to tell me that she eats her fruit because she likes it, but that it hurt her feelings a little. We talked about how fruit & veggies are important for giving you vitamins and keeping you healthy. And at the end,I just said "And what a weird thing to tease someone about, huh?" DD agreed.

Seriously, I know kids will be kids and will tease each other about ANYTHING. But fruit? REALLY??

As DP said, you really got to wonder what these kids are eating at home.

[Qbear'smama]

Your poor lil DD!! kids are ridiculous sometimes! I refuse to send DD with any junk and she likes her fruit, too. Good for her that she agreed with you that it was a silly thing to tease about and good that she still eats her fruit, she's standing up to early peer pressure, better than refusing the fruit because of the teasing!

[eepster]

Originally Posted by milosmomma

As DP said, you really got to wonder what these kids are eating at home.

Actually, they may be offered nothing but fruit at home. No cookies, no ice cream, no junk of any kind at all. When fruit is your only option and everything else is off limits, the ever present fruit becomes blasé and the forbidden treats become like holy grails. To them the idea that one would actually choose the fruit that one could just get at home, when they are finally free of parental control seems crazy.

Since you don't have strict constant food rules ("First, by no means does my daughter have a perfect diet. I'm not tooting my family's horn at all. We try to eating fairly well, but we all enjoy some junky treats.") Fruit is one of many options she has, therefore she can chose it happily with an open heart and appreciate that fruit actually taste really good.

[meetoo]

I feel for you. My son got teased for bringing in zucchini bread. He loves zucchini bread.

"A Bad Case of Stripes" is a good book you might want to read her. It's all about a little girl who loves lima beans but is afraid the kids will tease her if she eats them. It's very cute.

[Melaniee]

It sounds like your daughter has a really healthy attitude though.

[Owen'nZoe]

I have a long list of foods my son will no longer eat at lunch because of teasing. Stirfry was one that floored me - a little boy in his class said it was 'stinky' - and really, it was not. It was some veggies stir fried in a little oil, seasoned mostly with soy sauce (no garlic, maybe a little ginger) over rice.

Good for your daughter for continuing to eat what she likes!

[augustjunebug]

Originally Posted by Melaniee

It sounds like your daughter has a really healthy attitude though.

I agree, good for your daughter.

[GuildJenn]

That's sad but I think you sound like you have a great family food culture. I hope she keeps up with the fruit.

I wonder if some of it is the age. I *think* this is the age when they start to get very rules/social norms based.

I know my son has said a few things lately (he's the same age). Like he wears nail polish sometimes and he said sadly that the kids would tease him. So I said it was up to him if he wanted to wear it, or just do his toes. And he looked at me like I was insane and said "no, I LIKE it."

The other big social argument he had lately was he told about how he and his dad cut down a (diseased) tree in our backyard. One of the kids said his dad was mean for killing a tree. He was really upset about that. But I could really see how the kids are trying to implement/enforce "the rules".

[LynnS6]

Not only are 5-6 year olds very rule based, they also sometimes interpret comments as 'teasing'. Kids this age don't like being 'different' and so if someone commented, she may have taken that as teasing when it wasn't necessarily intended to make her feel bad.

Dd got off the bus in tears yesterday, claiming that the other 1st grader in the neighborhood was "the second meanest girl" in the neighborhood. Why? Because the other child had said dd whines and cries a lot. Dd did NOT like to hear that. But it's factual. (We're working on it, we're working on it.) I asked her "So do you whine and cry a lot?" Her response "But it hurt my feelings!" (OK, so it wasn't a great thing to say, it also wasn't all that mean. And I never did ask her who the first meanest girl in the neighborhood was!)

A great book is: Playground Politics: Understanding the Emotional Life of Your School-aged Child. I need to re-read it for dd. Her social/emotional development has been very different from ds'.

[amma_mama]

My DD is also a fairly healthy eater (though certainly also enjoys junkfood). But I am careful not to pack some of her favorites for lunch (broccoli, Brussels sprouts, prunes) out of fear that she will get teased. So I opt for more typical healthy kid choices, like carrots and raisins.

On the other hand, she has opened up to some new choices after seeing other kids eating it, like tomatoes, which she rejected in the past. She does lie the idea of the cafeteria food as she likes to eat what others are eating. Fortnately, the school has pretty healthy choices.

[DariusMom]

Sounds like DS. He used to want us to pack the left over tofu veggie stir fry or the couscous curry, but he got made fun of . . .. Now we stick to healthy sandwiches, though he's still teased about the alfalfa (which he *loves*) on them!

My niece (5) just started kindergarten and got teased about her lunch. Her response? "At least my lunch isn't full of high fructose corn syrup!" Can you tell my sis and BIL are into Food, Inc? I wish DS would be able to respond that way, but he's just not that kind of kid.

[bonamarq]

My niece (5) just started kindergarten and got teased about her lunch. Her response? "At least my lunch isn't full of high fructose corn syrup!"

HILARIOUS! I struggle too - My dd takes pretty "odd" things some days - this week she took brown rice and edamame with garlic ginger soy on the side - they might make fun of her but she's probably the only one who gets a thermos with raspberries (frozen & her favorite) and TINY bit of vanilla ice cream (all natural of course) So she can deal...she's in first grade...

She's in a pretty diverse school - and she can really see the split - hate to stereotype but the lower income kids are either eating school lunch or taking lots of junk And the other kids (maybe not high income but health conscious) Oddly enough this split is highlighted even more this year b/c the school now has a voluntary 'school uniform' - dress code really - khaki/navy bottoms and red/blue or white plain shirts - and it's the same kids who bring their lunch/have involved parents who are wearing the 'uniform' - really very interesting to see it all play out....

OH and BTW I live in the county where Jamie Oliver did his Food Revolution show last spring b/c we are the 'unhealthiest city in America'

even after the improvements - I still don't think the lunches are all that healthy - but as mostly vegetarians we would rarely eat school lunch even if it were...

[mkksmom]

Lynn, thanks for the book recommendation. I just ordered it on half.com

This was one among many issues we had last year in public school. In the end, my dd wasn't ready for full day, and we home schooled from Nov.-June. She is about to start public school next week, and I was here looking for ideas to understand her and support her better. The lunch issue is a tough one for me.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by milosmomma

She went on to tell me that she eats her fruit because she likes it, but that it hurt her feelings a little. We talked about how fruit & veggies are important for giving you vitamins and keeping you healthy. And at the end,I just said "And what a weird thing to tease someone about, huh?" DD agreed.

Seriously, I know kids will be kids and will tease each other about ANYTHING. But fruit? REALLY??

As DP said, you really got to wonder what these kids are eating at home.

My ds got teased over something in his lunch last year, it was mini-muffins that I made; also some things were said over his laptop lunch box. I think it eventually stopped. At least the lunch ladies complimented his lunch and box.

[lilyka]

My oldest kid gets teased. She is 14 and forced to sit with these insufferable girls. I spend a lot of time and effort making really healthy, really cute lunches, with something really unhealthy (candy....always) and often a fun little treat. They always, ALWAYS say something derogatory. Finally the other day one of the girls whispered over to her "your mom puts the cutest stuff in your lunch". I think it is taking time but they are beginning to see that they are yummy and cute and full of love (dd fell in love with bento boxes and is eating more healthy because of it.) Hopefully your dd will be a shining light of nutrition to the other kids in her class. I have to say it is pretty weird that they are teasing her about fruit! I mean, its fruit. Our kids get a lot of fruit. A local grocery store provides a fruit or veggie every day for every child as a snack. There is fresh whole fruit on every lunch tray every day. And it gets eaten. Fruit is not an oddity around here.

My middle dd doesn't give a crap about what others think of her lunch so I wouldn't know if people were teasing her. and my youngest knows so long as that piece of candy is on top she will be the envy of everyone at the lunch table and she will endure any weird concotion of mine for that badge of honor "Ava, you get candy in your lunch ever day!!!"

* for the record the candy is usually a piece of hard candy, a starburst, a Hershey kiss, a piece of laughy taffy (because Ava tells the worst jokes and we are trying to help her find some good ones). Apparently it does not take much to impress 2nd graders.

[mattemma04]

My ds eats absolutely no fruit or veggies.Drives me nuts.But anyway if I found out he teased anyone over their healthy lunches I would be furious.If anything he should be embarrassed about what he expects me to pack him everyday when others are eating fresh fruit and veggies.My dd eats like that(healthy) and thankfully her lunch comes home empty every afternoon.

Speaking of cute lunches I just adore the bento style lunches.So cute! Dd is 11 but I bet she would like them.

[Heavenly]

I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with food, kids will always find something to tease about. The 3rd week of school my daughter got teased for wearing the same outfit twice. Yes, you heard me right, it was only the 2nd time she had worn the outfit in 3 weeks. Now she is getting teased because supposedly her two front teeth are too big (being teased by the boys in her class). I told her to look at them like, "Whatever" and just turn and walk away. Kids will always try and get a rise. Don't let them.

[zoebird]

the rise thing is the real deal here.

but man, it is nuts, isn't it?

i have *vey* thick skin because of the bullying/teasing i took as a kid, and as an adult, it actually serves me pretty well.