How do you do activities (soccer, music)?

[LynnS6]

Our kids have reached an age where they really want to do after school activities.

How do you fit in activities with being a working parent? I WOH, but have a flexible schedule many days. Dh works from home, and sets his own hours. And we still have a hard time fitting things in.

It just seems like by the time the kids are home from school, done homework and had dinner, there's no time left for kid activities or helping out with school volunteering. Ds is doing soccer this year (practice 2x a week + Saturday games), dd is doing music (on Saturdays) and really wants to do gymnastics. My kids can't swim because lessons are either after school, evenings or Saturdays! Dd can't do dance because we can't fit it in. I might be able to find an evening gymnastics class, but that will be pushing us to the limit.

How do you do it? Do you?

[Alyantavid]

We don't do a whole lot.

We do try to limit our 8 year old to one activity at a time. So even with twice a week practices, it isn't TOO much. But we've yet to get our 4 year old into anything besides swimming lessons although I'd love to. Here, everything is so far and it's at some random time that I just can't make.

[justKate]

OMG what a good question. I don't know, but here's what my parents did. Mom, dad, daughter, son--kids 2 yrs apart, both parents WOTH FT.

Kids take bus to Grandma's house after school.
Mom or Dad take daughter to violin lessons on monday nights.
Mom leaves work 1 hr early to do girl scouts on Thursdays after school.
Dad takes son to soccer Tues/Thurs, family goes to games on Saturdays unless there are girl scout obligations, in which case parents split by gender.
Swim lessons happen in the summer when girl scouts/sports are off-season.
Friday nights are pizza/movie night (at home).

I have NO IDEA how they got it all done, esp. living 20+ miles outside of town where all this happened. Ugh. Infinitely giant shoes for me to fill.

F

[lilyka]

I don't. We don't have time and if we one kid is one place and another somewhere else when are we all supposed see each other? And so many things are on Sunday now...um no. We are about to venture into Tae Kwon Do but only if we can find a family class that works with our schedule.

[laurabfig]

We have a rule: one "thing" per kid at a time.

Are there after-school classes AT the school that they can take? We let our kids choose 1 after school class each semester, and just consider it part of our childcare really. We don't have to take them anywhere, but it is a fun extracurricular thing right at the school.

And I'm learning to just ask others for help. Carpooling can make a huge difference in how hard it feels to maintain a schedule, for sports especially. My friend takes and brings home my daughter on Mondays from soccer practice, and I take and bring home her daughter on Fridays from soccer practice.

[hakeber]

We're in the same boat as Laura.

Benjamin was allowed to choose one after school activity (only one because the fees were quite pricey).

He chose Karate-Do, and he stays after school on Thursdays and there are special mini-busses for all the kids that do after school activities that get him home at 6pm (they drop him at our door). I don't even have to go get him.

It's awesome. I actually get home before him, and have dinner waiting.

If we have more money next term we will let him take a second class in addition to Karate-Do.

I would probably not be into after dinner things or weekends because those are family times. If we don't protect some hours in the week we just let our work and school lives take over. Maybe when he is a teenager and doesn't want to be around us as much, I'll think about it.

[Girlprof]

Well, we are crazy. That's how we do it. Here's our schedule for this semester:

Mon: soccer practice 5-6 (DH leaves work early to take DS)
Wed: dance 5:45-6:45 (we will feed DS before dance and the rest of us will eat later? I guess?)
Fri: dance 6:15-7 (We will eat early and I will take DS and probably take an intro tap class while he does his hip hop class)
Sat: dance for DD 9-9:45; soccer game some time

DS will also have violin lessons but that is a bus from school to the practice so we just pick him up somewhere else, thank goodness. Also, hurray for a soccer season that is only 8 weeks long! Last year we added swim lessons for both kids in January but that will now conflict with DD dance, so not sure what we will do.

The only family dinner that is truly destroyed is Wednesday. Otherwise, we can eat early or later in order to eat together.

[LynnS6]

OK, so we're only moderately crazy. I think we're going to have to restrict it to a number of days a week, rather than # of activities. So, ds' soccer practices WF and has games on Saturday. On the other hand, dd's gymnastics meets only on Mondays. So, she can add in piano on Saturdays. But really, ds is booked. Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't want to do music!

But then she wants to do children's choir, and ballet, and swimming..... One thing at a time, I guess.

[SunRise]

I have a 7 year old and a baby so just one kid in activities. I work a 9-5 type of job, but have some flexibility.

We do soccer on Saturdays (fall and spring) (although I have heard they want to practice during the week, which I am not sure I will do). We live in walking distance to this, so its nice to get too.
In the winter he does an art program Saturday mornings.

We will also pick up a swim session or two in the winter. We pick the 7pm time.

Baseball in the spring is a week night 6-8. Very recreational. This overlaps w/ a few swim lessons.

Violin lessons on Friday - I leave work early for this.

Group violin once a month, Tuesday evenings.

And last year he was doing Karate on fridays after school...(violin was on tuesdays, last year). He was able to do Karate through JCC and JCC had a bus pick him up at school.

Sometimes a Saturday morning w/ nothing is needed - but we get that all summer and Oct-Jan.
Sometimes it seems like too much is going on, but this only happens for a few weeks when things are overlapping.
Sometimes nothing is going on but we have our own hobbies to do during that time (hiking, house projects, reading/resting etc)


If you have a JCC in your area, they offer a lot of activities and after-hours programs (tennis, karate,cooking) and that helped alot one year...with me working and him needing to go to an after-school program but also able to do an activity he really wanted to do.

[SunRise]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

OK, so we're only moderately crazy. I think we're going to have to restrict it to a number of days a week, rather than # of activities. So, ds' soccer practices WF and has games on Saturday. On the other hand, dd's gymnastics meets only on Mondays. So, she can add in piano on Saturdays. But really, ds is booked. Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't want to do music!

But then she wants to do children's choir, and ballet, and swimming..... One thing at a time, I guess.

The bolded part is key! Karate dojos tend to want your child there 3x's a week. I always thought that would be too time consuming, especially since I wanted him to have private music lessons and he also loved soccer and other things. We found karate through another source, once and week, and were able to fit it in.

[Quinalla]

I only have my almost 10 month old daughter, but growing up there were 4 of us each ~1.5 years about in age and it was tough for my Mom even though she was a SAHM, she still couldn't be in two places at the same time We did a lot of carpooling for activities and she was estatic once I was old enough to get my driver's license so I could start driving myself and my other siblings to some things. I was laid back about it and probably would not have gotten it immediately if she hadn't been pushing so hard for it.

But with our daughter and probably future child, I am planning to limit activities to whatever seems reasonable, especially when they are little. As they get older, if they want to jam their schedules more, that is more up to them, especially once they can be their own transportation.

[LilMomma83]

We my DS is still pretty little so that may factor in...but, my rule of thumb is no more than 2 week nights out and Saturday morning. He is currently doing swimming 2 X per week, and I want to put him in a Saturday class if I can find one, but, he isn't old enough for soccer and gymnastics are not offered on weekends...everything is geared towards SAHMs when it comes to little guys!

[namaste_mom]

I have 4 kids and work a full time job. DH is no help until mid_Nov after football season. 2 kids are activities age (5 and 7). The go 3 times a week after school to the same activites in the same location. While they are doing this, I go pick up the toddler and I have the baby with me and come back and get them. I then drive home and cook dinner (usually 6-6:30 i get home) We do homework, baths (if a bath night), fun time and then in bed by 8 pm. baby takes a bit longer to get to bed, maybe 9 pm. Saturdays me and kids go to the children's museum in the mornings together.

[EFmom]

I do it by never having five minutes to myself.

I swore I was going to be one of those mothers whose kids were strictly limited to one activity.

Older dd is in jr. high and is musical. She plays the violin, and is in the select chorus and orchestra, which are additional afterschool activities on top of the regular school groups. This year she got into a regional orchestra, which which is extremely good for her and very time consuming, with a rehearsal every week for three hours. She takes private lessons one night a week. She volunteers (and I go with her) every Saturday, all morning with a dog rescue. She does Tae Kwon Do several nights a week.

Looking at this from the outside, I'd say she's way overscheduled, and I must be a terrible mother to allow this. But it was all her idea. She had a 4.0 average last year and is doing well so far this year. She thrives on constant activity and she's extremely well organized. The school just asked her to give a talk to incoming students about organizational skills and balancing your interests with school.

Younger dd is still in elementary school. She does ballet, tap and gymnastics. She takes private flute lessons. I'm sure when she gets to jr. high, she'll want to do more.

On the weekends, I do batch cooking and freeze in meal sized portions. During the week, dh or dd get dinner going, featuring something I've prepared ahead. After we eat, we are out the door.

We try to get the kids to do their homework right after school.

Dh is a teacher and is home earlier. We split the evening activities. We get the kids home, showered and into bed, then we crash.

I'm an introvert. I would hate to be a kid involved in all this stuff. I love my down time. At least I used to love it--now I just miss it. But I do see the benefit to kids getting involved in stuff and I know it's good for my kids.

[34me]

My dh has been traveling quite a bit this year (he was home 4 days in August) so if I can't do it, it can't be done. My ds#1 plays travel hockey 4 nights a week plus pretty much every weekend from August-March when travel lacrosse starts. Thank goodness for carpool. I only drive one a week because it's an hour each way with an hour and a half practice but you have to get there 20-30 minutes early due to gear. ds#2 is my lego robotics guy. He has practice/team meetings every T/Th after school until 5. I don't drive the far hockey carpool those days but I might drive the part way one. DS#2 starts walking and I can pick him up about 1/2 block from school. dd (oldest) does school activities luckily and we are only about 1/2 a mile from the HS so she rides her bike. Honestly, we probably only eat dinner together 3 nights a week.

[flutist]

My DD isn't in elementary school yet, but she does take ballet class and is about to start violin lessons. I work FT in a downtown area and have a rough commute, so after daycare/school just isn't an option. DH works at home 3/5 days a week, so he would be able to pick up the baby from the home daycare and get my DD and take them to something one evening a week.

We have ballet on Sundays and I'm going to just set violin lessons for one weeknight, like we did with swimming lessons this summer. It means a quick/not great dinner and a pretty rushed evening.

I have seen a lot of things scheduled for after school times on weekdays, but it just wouldn't be possible for us, DH has to work until 5:15pm and I am not home until after 6:30pm.

[bluets]

i too have huge shoes to fill. my sister and i did lots of after-school/weekend activities while both my parents WOH. my mom could attract the carpools and was master at working them. dad was usually the carpool driver that would return us all home. when we were older, we would occasionally use the city bus to get us places after school (dad would pick us up).

dh and i WOH and at the same location but we have only one car. sometimes we just both leave work early (depends on how awful the day went); other times, we will alternate. right now we're just dealing with 1 piano lesson per week, but there is talk of hockey later on this fall-winter... if that works like baseball did, the schedule won't be fixed so it could end up being nightmarish.

i'm also picky for the moment: no more than 1 sports-y thing and 1 music/artsy thing at the same time. i don't want my child to be as scheduled as i was. there were days when i didn't know if i was coming or going. on the other hand, i don't want him to be so idle that he turns out to be a delinquent teenager (perfect role model for that next door).

[griffin2004]

I'm a solo mom who WOHMs FT M-F. DD takes gymnastics and dance on Saturday. She is starting choir after school, but she stays for extended care anyway so that's doesn't take more family time.

We have a couple of church activities we do on school nights once or twice a month, but I avoid school night activities otherwise.

[cchrissyy]

Unfortunately we can't fit in any activities in the evenings or weekends, but the school-age kids do go to fantastic afterschool programs that are a mix of free play, structured activity, and classes. for example, cooking, music lessons, gardening, fortbuilding, drama, service projects, knitting, jewlery making ... these are done by the actual afterschool staff, like once per week electives.

My kids have also benefited from teachers brought in to the afterschool from their own teaching locations to do higher levels of drumming, jewelry making, and carpentry. And sometimes the electives actually take the kids off-site, which allowed my 2nd grader to do "Aerial Circus Acrobatics" while I got to stay at work, un-guilted since he was doing cool activities I never had growing up

[Michelle Renee]

I dunno what we are going to do. Right now our family tends to be a of a bit crisis with marriage struggles - so DH has counseling one night, I do too, and we have couples counseling on the weekend. Throw in our kids - oldest (4) is on the spectrum and she has speech weekly (getting ready to graduate) and or some type of something weekly dealing with spectrum issues. Youngest has gross motor delays and has PT appts weekly. Nanny handles the girls appts. I decided we needed to be "normal" and I put them in gymnastics. Class is at 4:30 and Nanny meets me there and we hand off.

I have no idea how will handle when the girls get school age -

Good luck to all of us! If I could just squeak out time to get my nails done every so often or my eyebrows waxed :P