17.5 Months and Speech: WWYD?

[thehighernest]

I posted the other day about my toddler who had some words here and there since 9 months ago, but has pretty much lost all of them. I received some great responses and hoped I could poke around for more input. I'm just completely puzzled by my son's speech development!

My DH and I seem to see things differently in reference to whether or not a toddler this young should already go in for a speech evaluation. I'm concerned that he has lost these words, and although he constantly babbles, doesn't say simple things like "mama" and the like. Some of the words he once used but doesn't anymore are "up," "bubbles," "this," "that," "cracker," "duck," "dog," etc., so words with different consonant sounds and the like. I guess that would lead me to believe that he can make these sounds, but isn't interested (or able) to for some reason anymore. The previous responses led me to believe this was somewhat normal...

But the speech therapist we informally/quickly spoke to the other day made it sound like that was a really big problem and we needed to bring him in for an evaluation sooner rather than later. To be honest, the whole thing was a bit off putting, because she looked at him like he was a leper. She wanted to know about his social skills and his ability to follow directions, etc.

DH feels like it's too early to have him labeled in any way, doesn't trust that they would just say, "you know what, he's perfectly fine and just working at his own pace, etc." I feel that a professional wouldn't just tell us there is something wrong if there isn't, and I guess since I have this gut feeling, that maybe early intervention would be the best thing.

How does one make a decision like that? Would the best thing be to compromise and wait a few months to see what happens, how/if his vocabulary grows?

I guess I just find some things weird, like his losing of words, or the most recent thing he's doing, which is to call everything a "sticker," or not saying basic words but then responding to me as I worked with him on a puzzle "no, not there." He's loves letters and numbers, points to them in my books and his, has a solid receptive language, can follow directions, sits with a book by himself and "reads," - but doesn't talk! Why is this so frustrating for me?

[scottishmommy]

I would go in for the evaluation. It's probably nothing, but it would be nice to know for sure yk?

[crunchy_mommy]

If your mommy gut is telling you something isn't right, then I'd listen to it.

You don't need to necessarily follow the evaluator's advice or accept their 'diagnosis' or follow through with their suggested treatment plan -- you can just get the evaluation done & see what they say & go from there. It will either ease your worries or give you the information you need to pursue the issue further -- so you can't lose.

FWIW, my 19mo DS doesn't use all the words he 'can' use, though he does admittedly have a huge vocabulary. But it's not unusual for him to go months & months without saying certain words, or he'll start using different words for certain things. I guess I'm not clear from your post whether your DS is talking/communicating some or not -- it sounds like his receptive language is great but his expressive language is almost non-existant? I think that would concern me a bit. But if he IS expressing himself, just not using the proper words or chooses to sign rather than speak or something, then I'd be much less concerned.

It sounds like the speech therapist you spoke to made a mental jump to autism/PDD?? Could be reading too much into it but that's what it sounds like since she started asking about social skills and all. Anyway, if you don't like her, choose someone else to do the evaluation. But either way, listen to your instincts!

[justKate]

Honestly, I would wait and see what happens in the next 3+ months before taking any action.

Is he expressing himself in other ways, with sounds, signs, or behavior?
Is there anything else that's bothering you?

I recently went through an OT eval with my now-18 month old because I was concerned that she exhibits (a lot) of SPD behaviors, and guess what? The OT takes my insurance and they'll work with her. What do you think the chances are that they would have said "nope, she's fine. behaviors are developmentally appropriate and we won't take your (insurance provider's) money."?!

All I'm saying is that it was undue stress, and if I were you, I would pay close attention to your DS' speech for the next three months or so, take notes, try to elicit different sounds, and see where it goes. I think (someone will correct me if I'm wrong) that it's normal for kids to focus on one sound for a while, gain and lose words, etc. Right now everything in my house starts with "B." At 14 months, everything was called "more."

I agree that a professional shouldn't lead you to believe that something is wrong if it isn't, but it's all gray in a lot of ways. Speech therapy for your son or occupational therapy for my daughter won't hurt them, so it's hard for a professional to say its not necessary. Better for their bottom line and future liability to err on the side of caution.

I'm not sure that this is the response you were looking for, but I wanted to give you my honest opinion because I hear the same frustration in you that I had a few weeks ago. You're good parents, and it sounds like your son is within the normal range. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[physmom]

Like PP said there is a big difference between not using ALL the worlds he knows VS. not expressing himself at all. Maybe you could clarify more which is it?

DD has a big vocab and has certainly lost words over time. Many months later she will revisit them and some she hasn't gotten to yet. However, she's always made a point to communicate at some level either signing or verbally (used to be more signing now more verbal).

Regressive autism is when you lose words between 15-30 months and that's probably why the speech therapist asked you those questions. It doesn't sound like she might have had the best bedside manners but I do think they are valid questions to ask if he has lost all of his words and is not trying to communicate with you at all.

However, I do wonder if that's what's going on here because if he's saying "sticker" and trying to communicate in other ways that doesn't sounds like he's lost all of his words. It could be more that initially he was just repeating words to you and now he is actually trying to understand what words go to what objects. I'm certainly no expert but that's my first thought.

I just posted yesterday about how my 20 month old DD doesn't speak to other kids. So I certainly understand the frustration when it seems like your child knows something but chooses not to use that skill.

If you are really concerned maybe you should try and repost this in the special needs forum and see if there are any parents who have BTDT. Also I think the idea of really being clear on what is going on and writing down his attempts of communication or lack thereof is a wonderful idea.

I also wanted to mention that if he does have autism (big If there). Research shows that the earlier the treatment is the better. Autism is a spectrum so don't try and assume too much. Labels are something that just you has parents have to know. It's not like if you get a diagnosis you have to tell everybody you know. Rather if treatment helps it can just be your immediate family that knows. I'm certainly no expert in this field but we have wondered about DD from time to time due to a number of behaviors and we've looked into Aspergers.

[ellemenope]

I suppose when you say he has 'lost' his words it throws up a lot of red flags for autism.

But, with him not even being 18 months old I would try to look at the symptoms of autism in hopes of ruling it out. That would be my biggest concern. Just because if it is autism, early intervention, the earlier the better, has yielded remarkable results in some. But, then I would not worry until around 24 months if he still wasn't on track strictly verbally speaking.

Just off the top of my head, if he was pointing, signing, making eye contact, and responding to his name, I would breathe a little easier. If he seemed obsessed with ligning things up, or spinning wheels, that would give me pause.

But, like I said, if I could give myself piece of mind by ruling out autism, then I would not do any kind of therapy until at least 24 months.

I have known a kid who did not speak until almost 3, and she is now a bright 5 year old. And, her little brother didn't say much until he turned 2.

[thehighernest]

Thank you everyone so much for the feedback thus far!

JustKate - I think your thoughts very closely express how my DH feels and perhaps the perspective I'm getting to myself?

To clarify about communication. I would say that he DOES communicate, though I'm not sure if certain things technically count? He points, comes get you to let you know he wants something in another room, walks over to what he wants - say the refrigerator - and makes sounds to get your attention, nods head yes or shakes no, claps when he likes something (such as at the end of a song he enjoyed), laughs, etc. Not sure if these are also communication, but he makes sounds when playing with trucks, copies the little silly singsong sounds we make as he "walks" two little people figurines, says "aw" when he hugs his dolls (I guess he's heard us do that a time or two ).

He does respond to his name (although sometimes I would say he has selective hearing), is affectionate, makes eye contact, plays pretend games with dolls (feeds them, for instance). And he understands everything: I can ask him to go to his room to get me the blue ball, and he'll bring it back. I can ask him if he wants grapes, and he'll get all excited and go wait by the refrigerator for them.

But at the moment he only has 2 words: no, which he uses not so much in defiance but in response to the inflection of any question, and sticker, which he is using appropriately for stickers - and the foam letters/numbers he plays with in the tub, which "stick" - but also for his puzzles, a ball, etc. Oh, and I think I mentioned earlier that he has now said "no, not there" when working on puzzles over the last couple of days.

Not sure what the best way to work on sounds may be. I label everything, we read a lot...we can be looking at a picture of a bus and I'll repeat bus, but he won't make any sound resembling "b," even though as I mentioned earlier, he has said "b" words, like bubbles. So I guess my main concern is specifically the number of words that he has at this time?

*Oh, I forgot to add, not sure if it relates, that I think the therapist responded how she did because I did tell her that he gets very overwhelmed with crowds, like say at family gatherings. But he's perfectly normally social at day care, playing alongside other kids, kicking a ball over to another child, or at playgroups, or at the playground, etc. He loves older children especially and wants to play at the things they are playing. He also seems to really enjoy working on puzzles, but gets frustrated easily when he can't get a piece in right. He's strong willed, and if I made him wait to say "grapes" before handing them over, he'd start throwing bowls and everything else around. I would have otherwise thought that these were just personality traits (stubborn, like his parents; not super social, like his parents, you get the point, lol).

[crunchy_mommy]

Well based on what you describe, nothing really sounds abnormal, he sounds like many (if not most!) of the 1-2 year-olds that we know. I think they say that most kids will speak about 10 words before 18mos old -- and your DS says "aw", "no", "sticker", "not", "there" & has said other words in the past so that sounds pretty on track for the 10-word thing (and I've also heard over & over that boys tend to talk later than girls). It sounds like he is making lots of effort to communicate. Could you teach him some more signs besides yes/no? They don't have to be 'official' signs -- you can make them up -- but that might help you to communicate better. You can say & sign the word simultaneously & that should help to reinforce it.

I may have mentioned that my 19mo DS has a huge vocabulary, but he doesn't say some sounds even though he will say them in other contexts. Sometimes he mimics the inflection of certain expressions (i.e. "Where'd it go?") rather than speaking the words. Also he often has trouble saying "dog" for example & uses "puppy" instead, but if you ask him to say "bye dog!" he can say it perfectly. His pronunciation is often better in sentences than individual words. So even with a kid with pretty advanced speech (many hundreds of words & phrases/sentences), many of the concerns you mentioned are things my DS struggles with too. I think toddler speech is just very... weird lol.

Also pay really really close attention to any seemingly nonsense gibberish that he uses frequently/consistent. It took me weeks to figure out that when DS says "gnacht" he is saying "stick" (actually DH figured that out), and he has other words too that just don't sound anything like the real word.

[healthy momma]

Like the PP I think everything you wrote sounds completely normal. My DS is now 28 months and just this last week started to use three words together...occasionally. He only had two or three verbal words (and a dozen or so words in sign language) at 22 months but now can repeat most words and says words all the time that I didn't even know that he knew. His progress has been slow but steady and he is a fantastic communicator. I just trust that like every other part of his development he will go at the pace that is right for him. That said, if you honestly think that your concerns have nothing to do with comparisons with other children you know or timelines you have read about and just feel in your gut that something is "wrong," then by all means have him evaluated.

[goldingoddess]

Sounds very normal to me, as I had a son who knew about 5 words at 12 months, then lost them all until about 20 months, and now at 26 months knows a hundred words, maybe more. We had a lot of change going on, moving states, change of jobs, me beng a SAHM mom, so I just put it on that.

[thehighernest]

crunchy mommy, you're so right. I went back over my response, and couldn't help but think that I was a little crazy, perhaps trying to see a problem that isn't really there. I never thought of counting "aw" as a word, and "no, not there" was just a very recent thing, so in my mind I was only counting 2 words currently.

To address healthy momma, too, and everyone who has been so helpful, I think that my gut feeling is in some ways informed by what I read/think is supposed to be normal. I guess I *do* find it weird that he doesn't use some of the more basic words like "mama" and "juice at almost 18 months. And I *do* think it's weird that in the past 3 to 7 months he has stopped using about 16 words. But maybe this is just more common than I thought?

I will be trying to pay more attention to his babbling. I noticed this morning that he kept repeating something that sounded like "turkle," though I cannot for the life of me figure out what it might mean (there were no turtles in sight), and about a week ago we noticed he kept repeating "a ka," which might have been "again", though it didn't always seem to work in context.

Perhaps if in 3 to 6 months his language still seemed limited, there would be more cause for pause on my part, but I'm a little more at ease this morning. Thank you!

[crunchy_mommy]

Try asking him to point to the 'turkle' and see if he can show you what he's saying (doesn't always work but sometimes it does!) or repeat back to him what you think it means ("turtle? turkey? snorkel?) but obviously sometimes they will say yes to whatever you say when they really mean something else!

Also they practice their words a lot so "a ka" very well could mean 'again' and the out-of-context usage was just practicing.

So glad you are feeling better about all this!

[mama2soren]

17.5 months is not too young at all for a speech eval. We had an eval done for DS sometime around 13-14 months. If you have any concerns, be kind to yourself and have the eval done. DS had lots of fun with the therapist, and it was reassuring to me to have an experienced person check up on him. If the eval comes back fine, then you don't have to have those worries anymore. If it shows some delays, you'll get new tools to help your DS. It's a win-win, IMO.

[Mama2mc]

A little boy I know didn't say almost ANYTHING till he was 2 years old, then suddenly he started talking in COMPLETE and LONG sentences, he was so articulate, excellent pronunciation... it was weird and funny too because no one had ever heard him say the word he was now using, and his parents had been so worried. By the way, he doesn't have any problems, he's a normal little guy.

If you feel something is not right I'd say check it out, if not, give him a couple more months.