My DD is 30 months old and we recently switched from nursing to sleep to "anything else to get her to sleep!" Background info: we nightweaned her from our bed around 20 months, then nightweaned from milk when it's dark around 23 months, and 5-6 weeks ago (and still going) weaned from nursing to sleep. The reason is that she won't let DH NEAR her at night...to put her to bed, to comfort her when she wakes up, to even BRING her to our bed...it has to be me. And being 32 weeks preg, I wanted DH to have a more active role in bedtime and nighttime parenting so that when the LO arrives, it's not like the baby took mommy away from DD.
Our *new* bedtime routine is milk downstairs on the couch (and I have to be careful she doesn't get too drowsy or will scream for more milk), upstairs to put on jammies and go potty (she is fully PL'ed), daddy reads 2 books in bed, then we all lay in her (twin) bed...and what usually happens is me holding her and her playing with my ear (comfort thing for her...). DH has tried to hold her or rub her head (something else she'll let me do) and she says no, mommy do it. It takes an hour to an hour and half for her to fall asleep. I thought it would get better and easier but it's not. There is ALWAYS a battle for EVERYTHING, once the lights go out (she wants a sip of water-we keep a cup next to her bed; she wants to rock-daddy is allowed to rock her but not me but she won't let him so she chooses to just lay and whine about it; she wants another book; she wants to go potty again). We try to be gentle and are trying to do this gradually so that the changes aren't all when the baby gets here...but it's not working. With the hot weather and being so big (and uncomfy in her tiny bed), there are nights I storm out of the room, she cries with DH for about 5-10 min and I go back in and she plays with my ear and falls asleep fairly quickly. Naptime is awful too and it takes an hour. But the days she's gone without a nap, she doesn't fall asleep any quicker, so I don't think dropping her nap would help--plus she is super cranky all day if she misses her nap. I've read most of the gentle sleep books and we try to keep with it. I have a hard time falling asleep so I'm pretty sure she gets it from me, but she won't settle down to the point of just laying still and being quiet--once she does, she's out in no time. There is too much screaming/whining and it is driving me crazy.
Any ideas?
We can't do "mommy's not home" because she'll wait for me. I'm not sure how to bow out any further without it being traumatic.
We need ANY help we can get! Thanks!
Our *new* bedtime routine is milk downstairs on the couch (and I have to be careful she doesn't get too drowsy or will scream for more milk), upstairs to put on jammies and go potty (she is fully PL'ed), daddy reads 2 books in bed, then we all lay in her (twin) bed...and what usually happens is me holding her and her playing with my ear (comfort thing for her...). DH has tried to hold her or rub her head (something else she'll let me do) and she says no, mommy do it. It takes an hour to an hour and half for her to fall asleep. I thought it would get better and easier but it's not. There is ALWAYS a battle for EVERYTHING, once the lights go out (she wants a sip of water-we keep a cup next to her bed; she wants to rock-daddy is allowed to rock her but not me but she won't let him so she chooses to just lay and whine about it; she wants another book; she wants to go potty again). We try to be gentle and are trying to do this gradually so that the changes aren't all when the baby gets here...but it's not working. With the hot weather and being so big (and uncomfy in her tiny bed), there are nights I storm out of the room, she cries with DH for about 5-10 min and I go back in and she plays with my ear and falls asleep fairly quickly. Naptime is awful too and it takes an hour. But the days she's gone without a nap, she doesn't fall asleep any quicker, so I don't think dropping her nap would help--plus she is super cranky all day if she misses her nap. I've read most of the gentle sleep books and we try to keep with it. I have a hard time falling asleep so I'm pretty sure she gets it from me, but she won't settle down to the point of just laying still and being quiet--once she does, she's out in no time. There is too much screaming/whining and it is driving me crazy.
Any ideas?
We can't do "mommy's not home" because she'll wait for me. I'm not sure how to bow out any further without it being traumatic.
We need ANY help we can get! Thanks!
