Please help with thoughts on self-aggressive toddler

[Dazedstella]

My daughter is 16/almost 17 mo and has always done a little bit of the head banging/head smacking expressions of frustration but right now she is going through a phase where every moment of mild frustration leads to a screaming tantrum and smacking her face off the floor- hard. Sometimes she just stands up and smacks herself on the head.

I have been trying several tactics- first I offer words to her- can you ask for "help please" etc which she sometimes then will repeat or offering her snuggles with mama which usually gets a loud "NOOOOOO". If I try to pick her up when she is tantruming the hitting/head butting/biting is directed at me with desperate squirming to get down. So often I resort to saying "Mama will hold you/talk to you when you are done screaming. I love you" and waiting. Then I try to sit with her and talk about being frustrated.

Anyway the problem really lies in the fact that the tantrums are getting worse and she is hitting her head harder and harder on the floor. We are worried she will hurt herself.

[jenhill]

I know that can be very frustrating. DS would fall to the ground and start banging his head on the floor when he was very upset. (throwing tantrum)
He did eventually outgrow it. What worked for us was to ignore it. Or tell him to stop because he was hurting himself. He was around 18 months-so his normal temprament was very easy going. Until that point. But it was not hard to change his course.
Have you tried to telling her in a calm voice that she is hurting herself-or that she is going to hurt herself? and then just walking away?
DD2 bites her arm when she is very mad. And she is 2yr. She is starting to not anymore-I tell her not to do that bc it hurts her. And I don't give her attention anymore when she does it.