5 yo and food

[applecider]

So I really don't like food battles but this one is starting to get to me. Keep in mind that my 5 yo just started Kindergarten last week and he says he hates it and does not want to go everyday. Anyway, yesterday he asked for a sandwich for lunch and then he proceeded to eat half of the bread and nothing else. After he had told me specifically what he wanted on the sandwich. He didn't want the rest and I argued with him for awhile and eventually gave him some yogurt with raisins (that he basically only ate the raisins out of). Today I offered him some lettuce/turkey/cream cheese rollups for lunch and he agreed. Then he only ate the turkey and cream cheese. I said you need a vegetable and offered several choices. He picked salad. I made it and he told me which dressing he wanted and that he wanted carrots. I made it, then he threw a fit that he didn't want salad and he wanted carrots and dip instead.



I'm really starting to get irritated with this, but I also hate listening to his screaming. I'm just so tired of the battles. I just want my kid to eat healthy but I'm too tired to enforce it most of the time. What would you do? I did make him eat 5 bites of his salad before he could have something else. I told him that I am tired of him asking for something and then "changing his mind" (his words).

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

It may be that the two things (starting school and the food issue) are related -- maybe he really needs to feel "in control" of something and this is it? Or maybe he wants to know that you will accommodate him on some of his choices? I think I might let it go for a bit to see if things improve as he settles into the new routine. Also, if lunch is right after school (here K is full day, so I'm not sure what you are dealing with), maybe he is just too tired/hungry/wrung-out to be logical at that point. I know that after a really stressful day I get like that! Too bad you can't have him start lunch with a glass of wine -- it works wonders for me! (kidding, of course)

That said, my general rule of thumb is that I'll make one thing. If you don't want/like that, then you are on your own. If this continues beyond say a couple of weeks, then you might consider that as a house rule.

[ZinniaGarden]

My rule is, if you pick it out, I make it and then you just don't want it, fine. But I will not make anything else. I don't try to force my kids to eat as I figure they will eat when they are hungry. I also don't force foods that I know they don't like - been there, had that done to me and would never do it to another person.

[missnoodlesmom]

IMO - this is clearly about control, not about food. So address the control issue and ignore the food aspect of it for awhile. Let him choose and/or change his mind. He is in the "school machine" and learning the ropes so what he eats is one of the few things he has control over. Give him at least a few weeks and then you could always make up a "food wheel" where he can make his own combinations for lunch - make it a fun game and if he changes his mind, give him one chance to change it, and then maybe some tough love. But I'd ease into that gradually - his world is rocked right now and just needs an inch of wiggle room.

[applecider]

Thank you for the responses. I do feel like it is a control issue but I am not going to make other stuff after I made the thing he asked for. I do give him choices and I have thought of doing a chart thing with items from different food groups that he can choose from. But I am currently giving him choices, he just changes his mind after I made the thing and that is what is frustrating. Currently, I let him know that he can eat it or not but I am not making something else. And he has gone to bed without eating a couple times. But it doesn't seem to bother him too much. Anyway, I like the food wheel idea, might have to do that!

[LynnS6]

I think that it's also useful to look at his food intake over the course of several days, not a single meal.

So what if he eats just the turkey and cream cheese one meal? Maybe he'll eat only fruit/veggies for another, and carbs for another. In the end, it'll even out.

The other thing that struck me in your post is: You're asking him what he wants, he's telling you, eating part of it, then you're telling him that he's not eating it 'right'. So yeah, it's a control issue, but for both of you. Once you've made the meal, it's his job to eat it. You've done your job to prepare a balanced meal. Let him do his job and eat it. Let him learn to listen to his bodies needs and eat what he needs. Maybe he really needed protein or fruit at the time.

If you make something and he changes his mind, oh well. I wouldn't make him something else.

[reezley]

My 5 year old also just started K. Also picks out the pieces that he likes of the food. Yesterday, the bread from his turkey sandwich came back practically untouched in his lunchbox. OK. He ate the turkey. Sometimes the turkey (or whatever) comes back.

What I'm leaning toward is less preparation from me, more just giving him ingredients to either put together or eat what he wants separately. So I don't put mayo on his sandwich anymore - it leaves the rest of the food salvageable in the afternoon. *I* ate the bread from his sandwich yesterday.

For snack at home, I might put slices of cheese and some crackers. He puts it together if he wants, he eats parts separately. But I didn't put in much thought or work on it at least. For your yogurt & raisins, give him the raisins on the side to sprinkle it in himself, or not at all if it's just distracting him from the yogurt. I agree that once it's on his plate it's pretty much his business. I do encourage him to eat the veggies.... I tell him the carrots are REALLY GOOD today (if they pretty much are) and that he should just take one bite to find out. But I don't make him eat all. And I only give him a few at a time so too much doesn't get wasted.

Basically, I would let this issue go a bit, as he's going through the big school adjustment at this time too. Sneak some veggies if he's really eating none, but otherwise you'll probably see it even out over a few days like pp said.