another crazed mama needs help thread

[HoneybeeWaterfall]

DS just turned three and I have decided that I want to continue the CLW route for now but need some ideas how to enjoy the nursings more.

DS was night weaned last year when I was pregnant, never self weaned during pregnancy and was allowed to have a big nursing spike after sister was born. Now we are back to a single evening routine nurse that is really pretty short. The problem is that when I look at his sweet face my heart knows I want to continue nursing but on an animalistic level frankly it irritates me. We are already restricted down to a very minimal level so there is no more cutting down that I want or can do but any advice on how to enjoy this time more and focus on the big picture.

Sister is 4 months and EBF but there is no real conflict there and that nursing doesn't irritate me.

Have thought about whether this is a sign that I am meant to wean him but I just can't do it. Minimal though it is, the nurses are still his safe place while he navigates all the big boy changes he is going through.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions - I don't get to visit mdc very frequently right now!

[Bald_Bull's_Mama]

I find that the times I feel irritated are either when he is nursing "weird", in which case I relatch him or switch breasts, or when I'm thinking about how much I wish we were not nursing right then or wishing I was doing something else. Reading the wonderful LLL book How Weaning Happens really helped me. The stories from other mamas, those who had natually weaned and those who had not, really helped me. The quotes from some of the kids stick in my head. One mom talks about being exasperated with night nursing, saying, "C'mon, you're a big boy" and her son replying that "actually, he was still a little boy". So, I think about how really little my big boy is, about how very much he loves nursing, about how important it is to him and how wonderful and safe it makes him feel. I cuddle him close, I stroke his hair, I sing to him, anything to get me back focused on him, loving him.

Oh, another thing that gets me on track was reading the book review on Amazon of the book "My Very Breast Friend". I haven't read the book, but apparently, they do mother led weaning. One of the reviewers talked about how sad the book was during that part. It's told from the child's perspective and it talks about how sad he was, how he cried and cried, but "Bresty" never came, how much it hurt him. That really gets me. I never want my sweet boy to feel like he desperately wants to nurse, wants this most important thing to him, the safest place he knows, and it never comes.

I'm rambling, but I hope this helps a little! Congrats on making it 3 years!

[kcparker]

I tell myself that 1) the amount of time when he will NOT be my nursling is going to be a lot longer than however long the nursing lasts, and I'd better enjoy what I've got today, 2) you don't know when it is going to be the last time, so treat every one as if it might be. I have a friend whose child weaned abruptly, and she said she always regretted feeling resentful and antsy the very last time they nursed, that she'd soured her memory of it by being a grouch.

Would playing some music help - the song can limit the time, provide distraction and a topic of conversation for afterwards. Also, I have found that I like nursing better if my son and I cuddle and talk before and/or afterwards - it's an interaction that I enjoy, and if he's talking, he can't be nursing too. My hope is that one day, it will just be the talking, and no nursing...I have a fear though that both my sons will wean together.