well, a lot of this has to do with how you view a lot of different things, but here is my take on it.
i have been with my husband for 13 years. we have lived together about that long.
what i learned during this time is that if i wanted to live in a certain way, i needed to make it happen. that means, i had to do the work of it.
for the first 10 years, we lived as my DH wanted, which is to say, i would wait for him to do his chores, to complete a chore (any chore he did do, he did 85%), and honestly, i was living in a cluttered pig stye that was difficult to clean up before company came.
i did everything to try to get DH to join me in housekeeping, and it's all a grand bust. honestly. i did chore charts, i would write manuals on how to do things, show him how to do it quickly and efficiently, i would create incentives (such as going to a movie after doing X chore), i would ask nicely, and it would devolve into fussing, crying, begging, pleading, screaming, etc.
and guess what? he still wouldn't do the chore.
so finally, i just gave up. and i said "right, this is the way I want to live, and this is how it is going to be."
we moved to another country, so i managed to purge him down to near nothing. he still manages to collect clutter (eg, a massive basket full of bits of paper that he picks up on his walks), but i manage to keep it in a basket, and then, i go through it once a month and anything that looks important i put in a labelled envelope in the basket, and anything that looks like nothing is recycled.
other than that, i do everything. If i want a clean kitchen, i clean it once a week. if i want a clean bathroom, i clean it once a week (dh hasn't cleaned the bathroom in over a decade--and when i would ask him, he would complain the whole time, pick a fight with me about how he has to do "everything" and then be fussy all evening after it was done). if i want a clutter free house, i have to declutter on a regular basis.
this is not to say that DH doesn't help out. he does cook, and he will start the dishes. he will do laundry and then leave it on a pile on the bed. he will tidy up when asked. and he does spend a lot of time with the kid.
but when it comes to keeping house, it is just much easier for me to do it myself and do it on the schedule that works for me. i will ask him to help out before bed to get things tidy so that i can rest (i can't rest if i know there is a mess). it only takes about 10 minutes, so we do that together each night.
otherwise, it's all me.
and so it's helpful to have the right attitude (i'm doing this for me!), and it's also helpful for me to have a rhythm in which each thing is done on a regular basis that works for you.
here is my rhythm:
every day--after each meal, i do the dishes, dry, them, and put them away; mail is sorted and filed every day; the whole house is tidied before bed--all trash away, things organized as necessary, and a quick sweep of the floors. make the bed every day, do laundry every day/every other day as needed.
three days a week i do a single "big" chore: Tuesdays, bathroom scrub; Wednesdays, Kitchen Scrub; Fridays, dust/vacuum everything. that's all i have to clean, really. we live in a small place.
i find this just makes it easier on me. i also enforce a certain measure of minimalism on my husband. he complains at times, but i tell him that if we do what he wants, then it means that either A. i have to clean more (and i point out that he hasn't cleaned the bathroom in a decade) or B. he has to keep it clean and do that on an on-going basis or it goes. since he doesn't want me to pitch what he has, and he has no intention of keeping it clean himself, then that's it, we don't bring it in.
so, that's my advice, for whatever it is worth.