feeling lost with my 3 year old

[Devaya]

Help, I'm at a loss! I've read a lot of the GD books, been diligently practicing it all, and was just sort of feeling a little bit too pleased that things were going so well - and now my son who is 3 in 2 weeks time, has hit a phase where none of it seems to help. I mean, i know it's a longterm investment and all that, but I am really struggling with his outright defiance and uncooperativeness. Only a few weeks ago I thought we had a really good relationship where on the whole he was cooperating with me and any upsets or disagreements were easily resolved using the tools i know. Now...it's totally different. He seems to deliberately do stuff to annoy me, and keep doing things that I've asked him not to do...most of the trigger situations for me are when we have to be somewhere at a certain time (I keep these situations to a minimum but they are unavoidable, I am a SAHM and single mother), and he starts messing around just before we leave, making us late, and when it's nap time or bed time and he just keeps playing around even though I can see he is very tired.

People (somewhat annoyingly) who are close to me have suggested perhaps he is 'asking' for more no's from me, i.e he 'needs them' on some level. I just feel really confused. Any guidance much appreciated!

[jenhill]

I am sorry. I do not deal with this daily, but every once in a while (with the bedtime). And I know it is so frustrating. I am not extremely familiar with GD--I am new to it. But someone did tellme that you have to say everything in the positive--which I know from working at a daycare forever--that is what we did--it was always be positive. Which is quite difficult at times.
But in my opinion (and I am sure a lot of ppl on here with disagree) there is no harm in saying "no" sometimes. When you have tried everything else. i feel like some children need limits.
As far as the unsolicited advice from others--I would ignore it. I always do.
AS far as what I do for the bedtime situation is stay consistent. They (ds 3 and dd2 2) to go back to their bed because it is night time. I will walk with them back to their bed and tuck them back in. I have learned that drinks of water and bathroom are to be done before entering bed (as part of the routine). I have carried dd2 back to her bed before. And at first it was constant getting up and walking them back to the bed (mainly fordd2)
but it has gottne a lot better. Do you have a bedtime routine? Maybe a routine will help him cope and know that he needs to go to sleep now. Children like routine-they like to know what is coming next.
Hang in there. I think being consistent is key.
Oh I always had a rough time getting the 2yr and 3 yr buckled in their seats. They would want to stand around inthe car, dd2 would get in ds's seat and laugh. dd1 is 6 and she helps me buckle ds and i buckle dd2. We made it into a game to see who could get it done that fasted. And they all love it and it eliminates all they annoying asking to get intheir seats. Maybe make it a game to see if he can remember the steps before getting into bed. ie-bath, pajamas, brush teeth, drink of water, kisses and hugs-then bed. or try a chore chart--and let him put a sticker on it when he finishes something-and have in bed on time as one of them?
i hope i could have been of some help to you.