A Baby That Doesn't Like to CoSleep?

[TSomm]

I thought babies loved to co-sleep or maybe I'm doing something wrong. My DD is 7 months old now and even when she was young didn't sleep well when we shared a bed. Eventually, I transitioned to a strategy where I'd nurse her to sleep in bed, sneak away, move her to the crib when I went to bed, then brought her into bed to nurse when she woke, when she falls back asleep slowly move her back to the crib, repeat until morning. Thankfully as she has gotten older she's become a better sleeper in general, sleeping anywhere from 7/8pm to 3-5 in the morning for her first waking, so I sleep a bit better.

After nursing her into a light sleep, I _have_ to sneak away. Sometimes if she can't fall asleep nursing, and rocking doesn't help, I'll get frustrated. I'll set her down and walk away hoping to regain my composure for a minute or two but then she settles and falls asleep without me there. If, however, I were to put her down without trying these things she'd scream bloody murder.

Today I was quite tired so while nursing her to sleep for her morning nap I decided to just try to sleep with her. Big mistake. She'll be out for about 10 min, but then moves around so much in her sleep that if I'm blocking her from rolling, moving, etc., she'll wake up and fuss.

So, to summarize, is there such a thing as a baby who doesn't want to cosleep? Should I warn her future husband that she doesn't want to cuddle?

[2lilsweetfoxes]

My third baby does not like to cosleep either. She's always slept much better in her crib. Her "routine" was (when younger and I refused to let her CIO) two to three hours long: breastfeed and rock in the chair until she fell asleep. Put her down. She'd wake and fuss a bit. I'd get her up, nurse and rock some more. Wash rinse repeat. And I had two other children I needed to get to bed, so getting them to bed was mixed up in there. Now, the routine is: sippy cup of Pediasure (she was weaned almost 9 months ago from the breast and we took away her bottle last month. Pediasure (insurance/WIC provides) because she's a small peanut with a FTT diagnosis. Fell off the "chart" after I weaned her from the breast due to deployment, though they were scaring me to switch her to formula because she was so petite to help her "grow better". Yah, right. Third kid and they've all followed the same growth pattern--come to think of it, it was the same as mine.) Then I put her in her crib and give her her blankie and paci and she snuggles down, may fuss a minute or two, but that is rare, and I only go to her if it is not just grumping, and she's out like a light a few minutes later. When awake, she is the snuggliest little girl I know. The few times I tried co-sleeping with her, she thought it was just play time.

(My other two would not sleep unless in physical contact with me.)

[Justmee]

Rivka was like that until she was about 18 months old.

Now she's 5 and in my bed every night. She's making up for lost time

[rzberrymom]

My kiddos went through phases. Early on, they both slept fine without someone right there, but then separation anxiety hit and they slept better with full-time co-sleeping. I always tried to go with the flow and fulfill whatever need they had at that developmental stage. And I began to realize that as soon as I got used to one arrangement, they switched things up.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

My DD does not do well with co-sleeping. We didn't co-sleep at all with our first, so I was excited to give it a try with this one. She sleeps horrible if she's in bed with me, or even in the same room with me. She's up constantly! If she's on her own though, she sleeps nice long stretches.

FWIW I don't like snuggling either. I can't sleep touching anyone (although I can with a baby on me), so maybe she inherited this trait.

[sewchris2642]

Erica was like that. It took 4 months of non-stop screaming for up to 5 hours before I realized that she didn't want to fall asleep nursing, rocking, or being held. She wanted/needed to fall alseep in her own bed (aka crib) and fuss herself to sleep. Once I did that, she was alseep before I got down the hal to the stairs. If not, it was 4-5 hours of very stressfull hell. Not good for no one, let alone a 4 month old infant.

Dylan, on the other hand, wouldn't fall asleep except on someone. At dc, the provider's mom or dil (family home dc) held him at nap time. He slept in our bed until he was over 2. When we got tired of him sleeping on our heads, we moved him to his own bed in our room. He was moved to his room when he was 4.

2 different children, 2 different ways of sleeping. And I consider both to be AP.

[TSomm]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I always read articles about how it's human nature to want to share sleep and that just isn't working for us.

Originally Posted by sewchris2642

2 different children, 2 different ways of sleeping. And I consider both to be AP.

Thanks for the reminder. AP is about responding to your child's needs. If her needs are to sleep alone, then I shouldn't feel guilty over it.

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by TSomm

If her needs are to sleep alone, then I shouldn't feel guilty over it.

That need may change as she gets older and more aware. And part of AP seems to be about responding to those changes. And then it will change again.