"Suck it up cryer!"

[nextcommercial]

I was in Target last night, and was across the isle from the Halloween section. I kept hearing a small child cry. It wasn't an annoying cry, it was a frightened cry.

I didn't pay much attention at first. But, she kept saying "No Mommy, don't... I just wanna goooo". But, then you'd hear the spooky sounds of someone pushing those buttons on the Halloween decorations. She'd cry, Mom would say "It's not real.. suck it up cryer".

When mom FINALLLLLLLY pushed the cart out of the halloween section, there was a little girl in the front basket, with her blue eyes all huge and filled with tears.

And, she said "Thank you for taking me out mommy".

I cannot imagine making my own child afraid just for my own amusement.

[Arduinna]

Horrific. Really the rest I want to say would be a violation of the UA. What the heck is wrong with people?

[childsplay]

You know, that kind of thing bothers me more, way more, than say, the frusterated, overtired, overworked Mom who gives her kid a smack on the butt in WalMart for crying/whining/whatever, because that's not
premeditated evil, that's a frusterated human who acted out and most likely regrets it like crazy.

But what this woman was doing, forcing her kid to look at something very scary, terrifying the kid to tears and laugh about it is just sick and evil. That's just a bad person.

And she said suck it up cryer? Gross, I'd of felt like dropping her

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by childsplay

You know, that kind of thing bothers me more, way more, than say, the frusterated, overtired, overworked Mom who gives her kid a smack on the butt in WalMart for crying/whining/whatever, because that's not
premeditated evil, that's a frusterated human who acted out and most likely regrets it like crazy.

Ditto this! Tired, frustrated, at wit's end - we've all been there and can at least understand where a parent may be coming from, whether we agree with them or not. This, intentional cruelty, I don't understand - and I think I'm glad I don't.

[illumini]

That was evil. I feel for that little girl.

[Smithie]

You know, that kind of thing bothers me more, way more, than say, the frusterated, overtired, overworked Mom who gives her kid a smack on the butt in WalMart for crying/whining/whatever, because that's not
premeditated evil, that's a frusterated human who acted out and most likely regrets it like crazy.

But what this woman was doing, forcing her kid to look at something very scary, terrifying the kid to tears and laugh about it is just sick and evil. That's just a bad person.

[Storm Bride]

I agree with the other posters. People who get their kicks out of scaring someone, especially a small child, make me sick to my stomach. I really have to wonder what their story/background is like, yk? I've had some bad parenting moments, most of them embarrassingly public, but I just don't get this kind of thing.

[Tway]

Is it bad of me to say I'm not really surprised? I've heard of moms who do such awful things to their kids. In fact, I just met a woman from Ireland who knew lots of people at home who stuck sleeping tablets in their kids' bottles and then snuck out the door for a night of drinking. There are so many stories in the news about mothers who abuse, neglect, starve, and otherwise mistreat their own kids.

I guess a mother who delights in scaring her own child isn't terribly shocking anymore.

I wish people who didn't like kids would stop having them. Or at least give them a good home where they'd be loved and taken care of.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Tway

Is it bad of me to say I'm not really surprised? I've heard of moms who do such awful things to their kids. In fact, I just met a woman from Ireland who knew lots of people at home who stuck sleeping tablets in their kids' bottles and then snuck out the door for a night of drinking.

I knew a woman (friend of a friend) who used to semi-regularly advise me to give ds1 something-or-other (can't remember what) to knock him out, so I didn't "have to worry about him" and could "enjoy myself".

I guess a mother who delights in scaring her own child isn't terribly shocking anymore.

You know...on re-reading the OP, I'm not even sure this woman was delighting in it. I think she just wanted to play with the Halloween decorations and didn't want to concern herself with someone else's comfort level...even a child. But, I don't really think that's any better, yk? And, calling the child names for being upset?

I wish people who didn't like kids would stop having them. Or at least give them a good home where they'd be loved and taken care of.

The woman I personally know who is the least interested in her children's well-being would also fight tooth and nail to keep her kids with her, and is totally in denial about her lack of interest in their well being. So...I have no answers, but it's more complicated than "if you don't want them, you shouldn't have them".

[Tway]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

The woman I personally know who is the least interested in her children's well-being would also fight tooth and nail to keep her kids with her, and is totally in denial about her lack of interest in their well being. So...I have no answers, but it's more complicated than "if you don't want them, you shouldn't have them".

My friend gave birth about 2 weeks ago, and she briefly shared her room in the maternity ward with one of those women. Apparently the woman and her husband came in complaining that they wanted to leave the hospital and just wanted a smoke, and the nurse informed them that they couldn't leave since their baby was in the NICU. When the nurse came back they were gone--and, in the nurse's frustration, she turned to my friend and said "those 2 came in to have their baby and they were both drunk."

It is more complicated. It's just, you know, really sad.

[OkiMom]

Poor little girl! Not that suprising, some people think it is funny to scare kids and other people are either clueless or just don't care about another's comfort level.

I wish they wouldn't have Halloween decorations everywhere you turn during Halloween time, one section would be ample (and I don't mind Halloween). Yesterday I had a scared kid 4 seperate times and ended up almost leaving without getting what I came for because she was getting so upset.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

You know...on re-reading the OP, I'm not even sure this woman was delighting in it. I think she just wanted to play with the Halloween decorations and didn't want to concern herself with someone else's comfort level...even a child. But, I don't really think that's any better, yk? And, calling the child names for being upset?

I think a big part of it, was making her daughter be "tough". You know how some people really LOVE Halloween? I think Mom loves Halloween and is going to toughen her child up because it's what they do, and she's not having any sissy baby that doesn't like those crazy decorations.

And, I will admit that I HATE those candy bowls that grab your hand when you reach in. I know the little skeleton is going to reach for me, but I still get scared.

[karanyavel]

Kind of reminds me of my grandmother-in-law, who had some very strange ideas about parenting. I never really liked her much, but one particular incident sealed it for me...

My daughter, who was two years old at the time, and had never been in cold weather before (we live in a subtropical zone) was visiting with her and my MIL. Her great-grandmother (my grandmother-in-law) told her she should go outside and play. DD wasn't feeling well, crying a little, and said her head hurt a lot (she had pretty bad sinus congestion) and didn't want to go outside right then. Her great-grandmother's response was to taunt her for being "a crybaby".

TBH, we were kind of relieved when the great-grandmother passed a couple of years ago.

I cannot comprehend how people can be so unkind to children, but I see it frequently. I lost my left eye and wear a black eyepatch when we go out and about. Several kids have made comments (usually an excited, "Look mom! A PIRATE!") which I think is cute -- I smile and wink at the kids -- but the parents just glare at their kids and (usually) smack them! *sigh*

I'm reluctant to go out in an eyepatch these days and sometimes just tape up the socket because I hate that wearing my patch leads to kids getting hit.

Another time, I saw a woman with an obvious sick young child at the ER. The child was perhaps 2 years old and was crying a bit. Mom kept threatening that if he didn't stop crying, the doctor would give him shots. She also smacked him a few times, which obviously didn't make him feel any better and he continued to cry. Not sure what happened after that as I was called into triage.

--K

[peainthepod]

Wow, that sounds like something my mother would have done. When I was barely five, she made me watch Jaws and then mocked me for hours when I cried in fear and begged her to turn it off. It's the kind of thing that people raised in normal, loving households can't imagine, but it happens.

I'm sorry you had to witness that, OP. With any luck, the next time her mother pulls a stunt like that in public, someone like me (an abuse survivor) will be around to angrily confront her and validate the little girl's very understandable feelings of confusion, terror, and betrayal. It always helped so much when other adults called my mother out on her little cruelties in public. It made me realize I wasn't the crazy one and that I didn't deserve it.

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by childsplay

You know, that kind of thing bothers me more, way more, than say, the frusterated, overtired, overworked Mom who gives her kid a smack on the butt in WalMart for crying/whining/whatever, because that's not
premeditated evil, that's a frusterated human who acted out and most likely regrets it like crazy.

But what this woman was doing, forcing her kid to look at something very scary, terrifying the kid to tears and laugh about it is just sick and evil. That's just a bad person.

And she said suck it up cryer? Gross, I'd of felt like dropping her

This. Completely.

[Bluegoat]

I wonder if the mom didn't get that the girl was really scared?

I know my oldest daughter lately is in a really whiny stage, and is "scared" of all kinds of things that at other times she is fine with. It seems to be when she is bored, or tired, or wanting attention. It is incredibly annoying, and makes me want to be really short with her - and apart from that I am not sure if treating it like a real fear is the best response. Mind you, I don't know what is.

[swd12422]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

Wow, that sounds like something my mother would have done. When I was barely five, she made me watch Jaws and then mocked me for hours when I cried in fear and begged her to turn it off. It's the kind of thing that people raised in normal, loving households can't imagine, but it happens.

I'm sorry you had to witness that, OP. With any luck, the next time her mother pulls a stunt like that in public, someone like me (an abuse survivor) will be around to angrily confront her and validate the little girl's very understandable feelings of confusion, terror, and betrayal. It always helped so much when other adults called my mother out on her little cruelties in public. It made me realize I wasn't the crazy one and that I didn't deserve it.

Thank you for sharing this. Whenever I see something like this, I feel compelled to say something in the kid's defense, but usually have my own kid with me and you never know what kind of danger you could be in if you piss off the wrong person. But to know that it means that much to the kid makes it worth it, esp if it's one of those rare times when I don't have my son with me. Ugh, the things people do, and without any sense of shame!

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by Bluegoat

I wonder if the mom didn't get that the girl was really scared?

I know my oldest daughter lately is in a really whiny stage, and is "scared" of all kinds of things that at other times she is fine with. It seems to be when she is bored, or tired, or wanting attention. It is incredibly annoying, and makes me want to be really short with her - and apart from that I am not sure if treating it like a real fear is the best response. Mind you, I don't know what is.

DD does this, too. She says things like "I don't like rice (or something mundane), it's too scary" and then act all scared when she sees it, and won't tell us what's scary about it. It's frustrating and confusing, to me But, honestly that halloween stuff scares ME. LOL However, if it was something like that, boredom or whatever, it's usually about stuff that DD likes normally, and I could see saying "oh, come on, this is stuff you normally LIKE!" but not calling her names.

[ancoda]

My dad use to do this type of stuff all the time. He would also watch war type movies where kids were getting killed while he was suppose to be watching us when my mom would be gone. Then I would have nightmares for weeks on end and his answer to my mom was it really wasn't that bad, and that I needed to get over it.
It is sad that a mom would do this, but sadly does not really surprise me much.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I think a big part of it, was making her daughter be "tough". You know how some people really LOVE Halloween? I think Mom loves Halloween and is going to toughen her child up because it's what they do, and she's not having any sissy baby that doesn't like those crazy decorations.

And, I will admit that I HATE those candy bowls that grab your hand when you reach in. I know the little skeleton is going to reach for me, but I still get scared.

I really love Halloween, but I do not have any interest in trying to force it on my kids. And, I honestly have no interest in the popularity of the really gruesome decorations that are becoming more popular all the time. I like pumpkins and ghosts and bats and even spiders (they terrify me, but I can roll with them) and skeletons, and some vampires. The really gory, torn off body parts type stuff just has no appeal. And, I went into a local temporary Halloween store last week, and they had a whole display of zombie baby decorations, which made me kind of ill.

All that aside...even if I did like those decorations, I would not ignore my child saying they were scared by them.