Evening routine for a 1st grader

[rhianna813]

DS just started 1st grade so we’re attempting to get back to a 8:00 bedtime and now have some homework too. DH really wants him to have a nightly bath because last year we slacked on his a lot. But I am not sure if most kids take a bath each day or not.

We have no evening routine and things are getting chaotic and we’re running into each other trying to “share” things with no agreement or not knowing if seeing the other parent walk towards to the bedroom means they are actually tucking the kid in or not. DH doesn’t really like routines but I think it’s crazy not to have some kind of idea of when, who and how long.

DH is our SAHD and I get home from work at 5:30. Between that time and DS bedtime (8:00) the following things happen: play/fun time, eating dinner, bath time which is taking 30 – 45 mins, clean up time which is slow needs supervision, homework with parent help, prep for next day, get ready for bed with brush teeth/jammies/potty, bedtime with story. So far DS has been going to bed at 9:00 because it’s taking so long to get all this done. LOL

What is your evening routine and how for each “task”. Are their things that get done before the evening like homework or cleanup? Do you share/trade off responsibilities with your spouse?

Thanks!

Rhianna

[Hey Mama!]

My middle daughter is in first grade, and we also try to an 8pm bedtime. She usually does homework right after school, it is usually only 1 math paper a night. Then she has free time if she doesn't have an extracurricular activity scheduled. I try to have dinner done between 6-7. She takes a shower usually after dinner and after her shower it is time to read and go to bed. I go through backpacks as soon as I get in the door and get them ready for the next day. Cleaning up messes is done as they happen. If they don't get them cleaned up I make piles and put them on the stairs for them to clean up later.

I am in school full time so I usually get home around 4:30 three days a week. Dh doesn't get home until after 6pm 4 days a week and on Wednesdays he doesn't get home until 11pm because he takes a college course that evening after work.

Can your dh have him do his homework earlier in the afternoon/evening?

[rhianna813]

Originally Posted by Hey Mama!

Can your dh have him do his homework earlier in the afternoon/evening?

Actually 2 things you mentioned. Cleaning up messes as they happen. I SO wish for this but it doesn't happen on DH's watch. But we've made huge strives to get toys/clothes picked up daily. This started after we did a major clean out of DS's room this summer.

Homework. That idea is good but doesn't work for ME. Onlyh because I WOH and DH gets to walk DS to/from school plus volunteer in the classroom. I have almost no interface with school. The idea of helping with homework is like heaven to me. Although I know DH wants to be involved too.

Thanks for your feedback!!

Rhianna

[JollyGG]

Can he do independent homework stuff right after school leaving the schoolwork time with mom for things like projects that require parental help, homework he needs assistance with, and looking over what he did after school?

There is absolutely no way we can fit the actual homework time into our evening but we do fit the above in nicely.

Or can homework happen while dinner is cooking?

My kids do not take bath's every day or they get horrible eczema. In our area with cold winters I don't know any child who can bathe every day without getting really dry skin. Every two to three days is the norm around here until pre-puberty and an increase in body odor happens.

On evenings we don't have activities our routine is home from work/daycare. Check the backpack and go over any homework or projects. Make/eat supper. Clean up (but most of my kids chores are on the weekend as the week nights just don't offer us enough time). Bath. Leisure/play time. Stories. Bedtime.

We are in alot of activities so we just try to do the best we can on those nights. I've been know to look over and talk about school work at the fast food place while we eat before heading to practice/class/meeting. Then straight to bed when they get home.

If you do good about getting up in the morning some of the routine can happen in the a.m. My son is a morning person, my daughter is not.

[Teensy]

Since you want to handle the homework, maybe DH can have DS take a bath, put on PJs, and set out school clothes for the next day right before you get home.

So potential schedule:

prior to 4:45 - playtime
4:45 Bathtime, PJs, get ready for next morning (set out school clothes, etc.)
5:30 dinner & dishes, DS helps clear table, then is sent to gather dirty clothes & pick up toys (perhaps have a chore chart he checks off as items are picked up - a small white board is useful for this) while parents finish cleaning kitchen
6:30 homework with mom, read books
7:00 Pack backpack, brush teeth
7:15 Play games, read books, wind down until
8:00 Lights out.

[babyjaguar]

This is exactly my life!!! I home schooled my son for kindergarten last year and we were very VERY laid back. He would go to bed and wake up whenever. It worked for us he was happy, we were happy ...and then this!!! I have the exact same goal for an 8 o'clock bedtime and we get to sleep by 9 every night too. I find that he is naturally just tired at this time and pretty much passes out from waking up so early and school excitement. The problem for me is that waking up at 6-6:30 is my goal but I am forcing him out of bed at 7 which leaves us 45 min to get out the door and let me tell you that is NOT enough time, he practically sleep walks to school! I don't have any advice just lots of love and sympathy. I only have two kids they don't bathe every night (every other usually unless they are really yuck), we are not in any extra curricular activities and I still can't seem to get the kids in bed by 8 let alone fit in soccer or something. You sound like you are doing a great job to me especially since you make your child help clean the house everyday. That alone at this house would take at least 3 hours! I just do it myself, it is a lot quicker and I do a better job (LOL). I agree with some routines but this is all new to me and the routines are becoming overwhelming! It seems like in 24 hours our kids have precisely 2 hours of free time. Call me crazy but I say more free time!

[pianojazzgirl]

The other posters had some good ideas about potential routines. What works best for us is a) not having a bath every night (we usually do one every 2 or 3 days), and b) making sure dinner is quite early. Besides that we also do homework immediately after school (after about half an hour to have a snack and wind down), but I understand that that doesn't work for you.

[ollyoxenfree]

I always found that a bath before bedtime was a pleasant way to slow down, but I don't think it's necessary. If your dh really thinks a daily bath is necessary though, can he bath before dinner instead of after? Then it's part of play time/fun time - and it won't matter that it takes 30 minutes or more.

[Justmee]

Mine get home around 1:30 now, but they will be getting home at 3:30 next month. So far homework has taken 15 min. max. They come home, have lunch, do homework. Afterwards we play for a while and go to the park. Then home for supper / bath (about 3x a week) and they are OUT by 7:30.

[The4OfUs]

In the spring and fall, the kids get in the tub every night because they love water, but only get soaped up every other day (I figure they move around so much in the tub the agitation must shake off some of the grime, right? ). In the winter because it's so dry we only put them in the tub every other day (In the summer they get washed every day becasue they get sweaty and filty and sunscreened, etc.). We do wipe down face/pits/privates in the morning with a wet washcloth if they didn't take a bath the night before.


Our nightly routine looks like this:
Dinner between 5:30 and 6. Kids tidy up the living room or backyard in the last 5-10 min before dinner is on the table.

We finish dinner by about 6:30 and after everyone buses their plates and clears off the table (we just do a quick rinse of plates, then go back to clean the kitchen after they're in bed....OR, one person takes the kids upstairs for bathtime while the other stays and does dishes), we go right upstairs to bath right after dinner (and into PJs) (10 min of tub time per kid then a quick 2-min wash on wash nights) - whichever kid isn't bathing has play time for the 15 min while the other is in the tub. Doing bath right after dinner instead of right before bedtime works really well for us. We contemplated doing bathtime before dinner, but frankly my kids are messy eaters so it would involve another change of clothes, which seems dumb, becuase I wouldn't put them back in their clothes form the day after a bath, and if I put them in their PJs it's about a 95% probability they'll get food on them at dinner.

7pm - schoolwork, reading, play a quick game if there's time

7:30 tidy up bedrooms

7:45 light snack

8pm brush teeth, last pee , into bed (we do a quick song and very short oral story in bed at lights out)

Done.

This is not rigid, we just glance at the clock every once in a while and move things towards the next stage at the approximate times depending on how messy things are, or how much work there is, etc. Sometimes the kids ask to take a quick shower so we can play a longer board game, stuff like that.

So my suggestions would be:
- agree with your DH giving kiddo a bath before dinner - OR, shorten the bath to 10 min of tub time and a quick scrub
- purge toys more so it doesn't take more than 15 min to tidy, and get kiddo tidying more by himself before dinner while it's getting on the table...canvas bins are our best friends, the kids can lug them around the room to put stuff in them. If it's taking more than 10-15 min to clean up toys from an afternoon/evening's play time, there's just too much stuff IMO. Each category of toy has its own bin so it's easy to know what goes where.
- don't bother doing the big housework until after he's in bed, focus the evening on family, the dishes and laundry will still be there at 8:30pm. we do have the kids bus their plates and help scrape and rinse and clear off the table so that they're learning that, but that takes all of 5 min at the end of dinner.

Ours are in bed a few minutes after 8 (we start teeth at 8 and with shenanigans it's usually 8:05 in bed) then 5 min for the oral story/song, then they're usually asleep by 8:30 and up at 7am. 10-1/2 hours is all they seem to need anyway, it's when they naturally wake up.

ETA: school is out at 2:40. Karate is twice a week from 4-4:45. Ballet is once a week at 5pm - so the kids have free play time from school release until activity, or until dinner depending on the day.

[StephandOwen]

Here's how our routine goes for my 1st grader....

I pick him up from school at 2:35. We either go to a park and play or go home and run around outside until around 4:00. 2 days a week dp takes him to karate at 4:20-5:00. 2-3 days a week he has homework (they send it home on Monday due Wednesday, Wednesday due Friday and another pack on Monday due Thursday) so I usually work with him between 4:00-5:00 on the days he doesn't have karate. While I'm getting dinner ready he's usually playing on the computer (on school days he gets 1 hour of screen time between after school and bedtime). After dinner we usually go for a walk as a family. He gets a bath around every other day (unless I can see dirt on him, then every day) at 7 or 7:30. After that is pj's, snack if he wants one, teeth, bedtime. We read 2 chapters out of whatever book we're reading before lights out. DS is not a toy player so there are very few toys/messes to clean up at the end of the day. We do have to go around the house and gather all the books to return them to the bookshelf, since that's what he spends his afternoon doing (reading).

[Alyantavid]

Our routine is:

4ish get home and have a snack
4:30ish homework
5:30ish start dinner, kids play
6:30ish dinner
7ish baths
8 bedtime

My kids are 4 and 8 and don't always have homework, but we do alot of teaching type stuff in the afternoons anyways. This has started pushing dinner back so sometimes one or both will take a bath before dinner so they both have plenty of time to play in the tub/shower. Bed time is always 8 on school nights. We do baths every night but Monday and Friday, but only wash hair every other night. They play outside alot so they do get a little grubby, plus they love them since we've always done baths as part of the bedtime routine.

[MJB]

I had a 1st grader last year (who is homeschooling for 2nd) and my other son is in full-day K now.
We try to have dinner around 7 and bedtime is 8:30. Sometimes dinner is a little later like 7:30-7:45 (my husband cooks and timeliness isn't his strong suit, plus my older son has soccer practice until 7:30 two nights a week). If there is time, they have a bath. If there is not time but they are filthy, they take a shower. If there is time after that, they get a bedtime story or can read in bed. They usually just sleep in their boxers but in the winter will throw some PJs on; really that only takes about 30 seconds though.
Honestly I only have them clean up on the weekend, or my homeschooler will do it during the day. They mostly play outside so their room doesn't usually get that messy. Toys are not allowed outside of their room.
My kindergartner doesn't have homework yet (supposedly will start next month) and my 1st grader did his homework by himself last year. Could you have him do it when he gets home and then go over it with him at night?

It sounds like your son just takes his time with this stuff, a bath doesn't need to be 45 minutes long (!), he should be able to brush his teeth and get his PJs on in <5 minutes without help. My kindergartner has the same issue with pokiness in the morning so I started telling him he needs to be ready by 7:40 or he will lose his screen time for the day; suddenly we have no more morning struggles. He still needs help tying his shoes but can eat breakfast, wash his hands and face, brush his teeth, put his shirt (tucked in), shorts, belt, socks and shoes on by himself.

You could also have him take a bath before you get home if a daily bath is important to your husband. Or shower in the morning (which was actually what my then-1st grader did a lot last year).

[Cascadian]

I learned from a friend with older kids who'd BTDT to do homework right after school, at the kitchen table, with a small snack, otherwise they unwind and may not be able to concentrate or be as amenable to doing it.

Playtime, reading then a tv show AFTER reading.

Beginning of bedtime is signalled by a nice warm bath, every single night. It relaxes them, takes off any sweat clogging the pores.

Some reading in bed.

Lights off by 8:30

[MAMom]

My DS is 7 and in 2nd grade and DD is 4. I am a SAHM & DH works out of the house. This is our afternoon/evening schedule:

- 2:30-3:30pm: school pick-up, sometimes stay to play at playground
- 3:30pm-4pm: play in or outside
- 4pm-4:30pm: watch one tv show that is their favorite
- 4:30-5pm - DS does homework while I finish dinner prep or clean up, DD plays (he has about 15-20 min of homework each night M-Th)
- 5:00pm - sometimes the kids and I eat dinner, sometimes we wait for DH, depending on his schedule. If we wait, this is playtime instead.
- 6:00pm - DH arrives home. Kids play with DH, or all eat dinner together
- 6:45pm - quick showers 2-3 nights per week. We no longer do weekday baths for DS, and he prefers a shower. DH helps DS/DD brush their teeth & get into jammies
- 7pm-7:30pm - DH & I both read to each child (we each spend 15 minutes reading to one, then switch)
7:30pm - lights out for DS. DD sometimes stays up until 8/8:30pm depending on if she had a nap.

Then DH usually cleans up dinner dishes/leftovers after kids have gone to bed.

I am finding that I need to have dinner made and ready to go early in the day, because otherwise it just doesn't get done. So I cook in the mornings so meals are done and ready. This doesn't always happen of course, but that's my ideal.

DS has sports practice one night per week, so that night we eat leftovers. Most other nights we eat a meal I prepared, or on occasion go out to dinner or eat "breakfast" for dinner. Or packaged food from Trader Joe's on bad days

We moved many of DS's toys into his bedroom, so he plays Legos or something else in the mornings for 30-60 minutes before getting ready for school (he wakes at around 6am, and we leave the house at 7:45am). So, there is not much toy pick-up during the week, mostly on the weekends. We tend to leave things out in the playroom during the week w/o much clean-up.

[elmh23]

Here's our schedule so you can get an idea. I am a SAHM and dh is usually home between 5:30 and 6, sometimes later though.

3:15- dd out of school, get home around 3:30-3:45 depending on traffic.
change (she has a uniform for school and I do not want her wearing it at home)
homework
snack
playtime, I start dinner depending on how long it takes, we eat between 5:30 and 6
while I finish with dinner and set the table, the kids clean up and I supervise as needed
eat dinner
after dinner, dd takes a bath. sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's long, but we can do this in 10 minutes if we're running late
play or go for a walk
brush teeth, pajamas and bed at 8
we try to say family prayer every night with both kids in their beds and the lights off.