A sign to homebirth?

[mintyeyes]

I have been wavering back and forth on a homebirth. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and have been seeing the same midwives that delivered my daughter at a hospital. I had a good medfree birth last time, but a terrible hospital experience.

I thought I had decided that a hospital birth this time around would be best, but I had a dream the other night that I was in labor and they forced me to have a c-section without telling me why. Then I wasn't allowed to see the baby at first and couldn't breastfeed.

It was such a devestating dream for me, everything went wrong and no one would tell me why. That's the feeling I had in the hospital last time when my baby was put into Special Care (unnecessarily, IMO) and it was like we were in a prison and trying to get her out.

My husband is more than supportive of a homebirth...he's actually more in favor of one than I am! He has left the final decision up to me, but will definitely discuss the pros and cons if I need it. I'm worried about what my family would think if I had a homebirth...especially my Mom, sister and one of my cousins who is a PICU nurse.

In all this rambling I don't even really have a question...I guess I'm just looking for support one way or the other. Most of the people in my life would not support a homebirth so I need some other perspectives.

[honeybee]

I would just start reading all you can about homebirth. Maybe start with Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. The birth stories in the first half are very inspiring, and the second half is full of good information. Then I would also read Henci Goer's a Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. There are lots of other resources, too.

I would also try to find some people in your area who have had homebirths. I actually did read the safety statistics with my first, but the concept was still pretty foreign to me. Then, when my son was about a year old and I started going to LLL meetings, I finally met a handful of women who had amazing homebirths, and hearing their stories inspired me.
Now, I know so many homebirth moms, and am so immersed in the community, that it just seems normal to me.

You can also try talking to some homebirth midwives and asking them questions. You don't have to make any decisions or tell anyone about your thoughts. Just look into it and see if it would be a comfortable fit for you. If it is something that calls to you, then the thought of what your family and friends will think will not be a deciding factor... you will still probably need to figure out if/how you want to share info with them, but they won't play a part in your decision-making, kwim?

[homemademom]

I really like all of honeybee's suggestions. The other thing I would say is that you don't necessarily need to tell your family right away. If you think they're going to be unsupportive, you can wait a while or even choose not to tell them until after the baby is born. If you're really close with your mom or sister, you could always take them to meet the mw you choose. Good luck with your decision!

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by mintyeyes

Most of the people in my life would not support a homebirth so I need some other perspectives.

Don't tell!
You & your DH are the parents & guardians of this child & you're the only ones who get to make decisions related to the health & well being of the baby. I'm sure this wouldn't be the first time some people in your life disagreed with a decision you made.

I'm not telling my Mom & MIL (I already know Mom isn't comfortable with it, since I'd mentioned the idea right after DS birth.) Mostly, I just don't want to deal with the "I told you so!!!" hassle if we transfer. Yeah, like transferring wouldn't be stressful enough! Thankfully the closest hospital also happens to be where I had DS & where they assume I'll go again, so there would be no reason for them to ever know the hospital was "plan B" if I do end up there.

It's not an easy decision to make - especially when our culture is so vehemently opposed to it. But I think honeybee gave you great advice. I was also going to suggest meeting with MWs. If you have a few good ones to choose from, and they make you feel comfortable & secure - confident in their abilities - then I bet that would make the choice easier for you. Best of luck!

[Lady Lilya]

Meg, almost every natural hospital birth is a transfer. Usually labor starts before you get to the hospital. A homebirth that turns into a transfer is just like a case of getting to the hospital later in labor. .

[mommathea]

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Edited by mommathea - 5/11/11 at 1:08pm