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this is driving me batty..

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I have in my mind a very content child... If I'm holding her engaged with her in some way she is content happy smiley ect, she also naps well and has always had some amazing sleep patterns we saw right from birth. I mean seriously I'm VERY blessed in this area..
However shes deffiently a mama baby so if I put her down she cries she almost always ends up in my arms at some point in any situation.. Like she is just now sitting up so if I take her groccery shopping I've been bringing the shopping cart cover and letting her ride.. she does great for about 1/2 the time with me engaging then wants to be held, same with meals she does great for the first 10-20 mintues dependign on where we are in a highchair but at some point she always wants to be held. She actually will sleep and even put her 'self" to bed alone but as soon as she wakes shes wants me and can go from big huge tears to a beaming smile if I accidently take too long getting her.
To me this is what babies are sosposed to be like but geez you'd think I'm the only kid around that needs to be held or maybe I'm the only mama that doesn't roll her eyes and worry about spoiling her when we do.
my inlaws (well MIL) is constantly refering to her as high needs and get this think i should have her CIO when she WAKES up.. Since she smiles when she sees me so clearly she is manuplating me

Or were always getting off handed comments about how she is soo spoiled cause look mommy is holding you.. Overall they seem to be joking and kinda liek there just trying to say something cute and clever but ugg.. really holding a 6 month old is spoiled....
And what I REALLY don't get is I also have a 7.5 year old who LOVES her little sister to no end.. Cecilia will happily carry her little sister around if mommy needs a break but shes not wanting to be put down and jsut is a huge help.. Apprently this is just shocking to others who are always laughing at her helping and asking her how much we pay her and ohh I remember when I was FOrced to care for my siblings comments...

Deanna
post #2 of 14
She sounds like a great baby to me! It seems in the age of baby gadgets, contraptions and "scheduling" people forgot that babies are SUPPOSED to be held! Maybe next comment you can direct them to the other 90% of the world that wear their babies...I really doubt EVERY child in Africa that is worn is "spoiled"!
post #3 of 14
I don't have much to add, except I can relate as far as those comments about not holding a baby too much or not picking them up when they cry. IME those comments are far more common than the "you should let them CIO" or "you'll never get him out of your bed" comments. So far I've pretty much just said "Yeah well I can't just sit there and listen to him cry", and "I love being so close and cuddly, and this stage of his life will be over so fast so I'm savoring it. We'll never be this close again."
But yeah, so annoying to hear these kinds of comments and so sad that most people seem to think this way.
post #4 of 14
If it's one thing I learned (and it's not always easy) is to stop listening to what others say and starting using my own intuition. Everyone always thinks they know what is best for your child but the truth is that only you know that. I also think a lot of people make comments in order to justify the way THEY raised their children because it's different than your way.

But the truth is that babies want to be held and loved. In fact that's all they want is to be loved. And you really can't spoil your baby with too much love can you?

You jut have to trust your instinct and that you're doing the right thing. And then come here and vent if you need to because you have to have some sort of outlet or else it will get to you!
post #5 of 14
I love that Dr. Sears says something spoils if it's left alone on a shelf... not if it's cared for and enjoyed! Your baby sounds amazing!
post #6 of 14
just wanted to add-- sitting at a meal for 10-20 minutes at 6 months old is amazing! I rarely get that from my 2 year old.. Sounds like she is a very happy, attached, and NORMAL little girl. You are doing a great job. I only wish my DS was that happy as a baby, even holding him didn't do the trick half the time.
post #7 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by julie80 View Post
But the truth is that babies want to be held and loved. In fact that's all they want is to be loved. And you really can't spoil your baby with too much love can you?
In my opinion the best thing you can do for your baby is give him/her plenty of love, which you're definitely doing. My 7 1/2 month old son's first words were "I love you"--caught on video when he was 4 months old. Just the other day he was trying to say Kitty and then said "ove" for love. He loves the kitty. He tells DH and me that he loves us. He's probably heard the word love more than any other word. But we show him what love is through our actions: by holding him close, playing with him, attending to his needs, etc.

Letting him CIO, in my opinion, wouldn't be showing him the love I have for him. I want my son to always know that he is loved and to feel that love in his core. If something doesn't come from a place of love, I simply won't do it. Other people's opinions don't enter the equation (other than annoying me), so I let them go.
post #8 of 14
Sounds like a wonderful loving little baby to me.
Other people can go kick rocks with their comments.
She loves being around you and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think that there is such thing as spoiling a baby with love and attention.
post #9 of 14
People sometimes just don't get it that babies want to be close to their mama, it's normal and that's what they need.
I actually often get the opposite comments about how well behaved my DS is (he's 8 months) and how well he does in a restaurant, out, wherever. I feel like saying - he's happy because I'm holding him, rocking him, and paying attention rather than expecting him to sit quitely and behave. It's really not about him "behaving" - he's a baby. I mean sometimes I eat my meal out while DH walks him outside and then we have to switch. We just don't make a big deal out of it - that's all.
post #10 of 14
When I get those comments I say "Soon enough he won't want his mommy to cuddle him. I'm taking as much as I can now!"

I remember I was in a dr's office and there was a woman there with her baby who was maybe 4 months. A man was telling her that she had to show him who was boss, not let him get used to being held etc. I chirped in with "Very soon he'll be saying 'aw mom, don't kiss me' - enjoy it while you can." The mom smiled at me and cuddled her baby. I find sometimes people feel they need permission to do what they feel is right like holding/cuddling their babe.
post #11 of 14
I just can't quite believe that people actually think that babies shouldn't be held. When thinking about baby-raising, I always try to imagine what we'd do as the animals we really are. Can you see those early clans of Homo sapiens leaving their young alone and crying? Can you say, "Please eat me, hyena?" A CIO species would never have evolved.
post #12 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmamalizzy View Post
I just can't quite believe that people actually think that babies shouldn't be held. When thinking about baby-raising, I always try to imagine what we'd do as the animals we really are. Can you see those early clans of Homo sapiens leaving their young alone and crying? Can you say, "Please eat me, hyena?" A CIO species would never have evolved.
LOL! Your post reminds me of this cartoon:

http://www.thefoodoflove.org/why-babies-cry.htm
post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoetryLover View Post
LOL! Your post reminds me of this cartoon:

http://www.thefoodoflove.org/why-babies-cry.htm
That's awesome!!! I feel so validated...
post #14 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoetryLover View Post
LOL! Your post reminds me of this cartoon:

http://www.thefoodoflove.org/why-babies-cry.htm
This is awesome! Thanks for posting.
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