OMFW MA RMV discrimination

[sosurreal09]

WOW i am floored right now. im apparently a horrible driver and need to take a re-training course so i called the RMV to ask them what i should do since I BF...

The woman says to me "well in this country it's rare to BF beyond 3months, I mean can't you just give her formula?'
i said ummm no i BF and shes 11 m/o and im not sopping anytime soon.
then she says "well idk what country you are from but most people adapt to American ways when it comes to BFing and no one BF beyond 6 months, well very rarely they do but its so uncommon."
i said i am FROM this country and i BF and will Bf until my kid is 5 y/o if she chooses so!
then she tells me i need to call the specific office and try to work something out with them to have DH bring the baby so i can nurse her in the CAR!
i was like i dont mind nursing her in the class thanks and she said well you have a lunch break so you could nurse her on you're break in another room...
so i said well i cant guarantee my child will be able to go x amount of time without milk...i need to be able to nurse her when she needs it.
then she tells me well if you're going to be like that you can take the course in a couple years BUT they will suspend you're license in the meantime.

so i said ok well you have been more than helpful could i please have you're name and she hung up on me!
of course i wanted her name to report the living hell out of her!!!!!!!! but i didnt say that!

i am so overly pissed right now its ridiculous!!! how dare she speak to someone like that! and hello well you need to adapt to American ways?!?!?!?! i am American and if i was not what if i too that advice?! OMFW

not to mention MA is suppose to be sooooo pro BFing and NIP....

[Purple Sage]

Wow. That's insane.

Definitely call and complain, even if you don't know her name. I think they always record the calls, so it would be easy for them to find her if they just listen to the calls that were taken at that particular time.

[sosurreal09]

i am totally doing it!

i called the local one for the class and got 0 help as well. The whole well we dont make special accomodations for BFing mothers......so i was like look i am trying to make this work here ect ect and she was like well you cant bring the baby in the classroom to BF b/c kids are not allowed and all i can offer is if you do it on the 2 10 min breaks and the 20 min lunch if someone is willing to take her to you. so i said well idk if she can nursed in 10 mins...i mean its usually 15 and she said i could be kicked out of the class if i am late so basically i am screwed. i told her what happened with the other lady and she was like well idk what to tell you.

so I AM thinking what if i get a Drs note from her pedi saying she has allergies and needs to be Bf...?

but the other thing is she will be just over 1 y/o...and you know they will say well she doesnt NEED milk over 1.

ERRRRRR

i mean i wish you all could have heard how that woman was speaking to me like im an imbecile for Bfing bayond 3 months! the whole we dont do that in America spiel. like WTF seriously this is so beyond ridiculous.

i hadnt had a ticket in 2 years (got 4 before i got pegnant) and i was just shy 1 month of not having to do this class and i got a ticket for driving in the left lane...

[Lisa1970]

I have 5 children and it is only on this child, who just turned one, that I have been completely attacked over breastfeeding. I don't know if it is the times, or what.

I am sorry she was so awful. I would still complain and just let them know that she refused to tell her name. They can probably either figure out who it was, or at least put out a general notice to staff about what happened and not to do it again.

[maddymama]

I would call and complain, as well as ask to speak to the individual instructor to see if you can work out a comprimise regarding breastfeeding. I know they don't want 12 year olds playing in the classroom and distracting everyone, but maybe you could offer to sit in the back near the door, or something.
Good luck!
~maddymama

[aslyn]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09

The woman says to me "well in this country it's rare to BF beyond 3months, I mean can't you just give her formula?'
i said ummm no i BF and shes 11 m/o and im not sopping anytime soon.
then she says "well idk what country you are from but most people adapt to American ways when it comes to BFing and no one BF beyond 6 months, well very rarely they do but its so uncommon."

I wanna know what country that woman is from?!! In the America I was born, raised and breastfeed in we breastfeed as long as we freaking want too!

Also I would look into your state laws about breastfeeding, Here any public place that does not allow bf can be sued for discrimination

[JudiAU]

Wow. Crazy.

I am an American my kids will bf as long as they want. And you know what? I did, my mom did, my grandmother did, and my great-grandmother did. Of course, we only came over on the Mayflower and so we are relatively new immigrants to this country.

[sosurreal09]

lol

massachusetts is supposedly BFing supporters as im being yelled at but the states RMV to just give my kid formula already

[annettemarie]

I am not going to deny that her comments were completely inappropriate and she probably should be reported.

That being said, generally breastfeeding laws state that you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your baby has the right to be. I am assuming you have to take this course as some sort of punishment for tickets or other bad driving. If they don't allow babies, you don't have a right to breastfeed there and I don't think you can reasonable expect them to make an exception. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but if you racked up sufficient tickets to merit having to take a class as a punishment, you may have to just make accommodations or deal with not driving until you can take the class.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I am not going to deny that her comments were completely inappropriate and she probably should be reported.

That being said, generally breastfeeding laws state that you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your baby has the right to be. I am assuming you have to take this course as some sort of punishment for tickets or other bad driving. If they don't allow babies, you don't have a right to breastfeed there and I don't think you can reasonable expect them to make an exception. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but if you racked up sufficient tickets to merit having to take a class as a punishment, you may have to just make accommodations or deal with not driving until you can take the class.

I agree.

[ktgrok]

can you take the class online? In FL you can.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I am not going to deny that her comments were completely inappropriate and she probably should be reported.

That being said, generally breastfeeding laws state that you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your baby has the right to be. I am assuming you have to take this course as some sort of punishment for tickets or other bad driving. If they don't allow babies, you don't have a right to breastfeed there and I don't think you can reasonable expect them to make an exception. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but if you racked up sufficient tickets to merit having to take a class as a punishment, you may have to just make accommodations or deal with not driving until you can take the class.

I agree also. If your punishment is this class an d you can't take the class because of the baby, your other option is suspension. How long is the class? have dh meet you at lunch? pump?

the lady could have left her opinions about breastfeeding terms out
nak

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by ktgrok

can you take the class online? In FL you can.

That would be a great solution!

[ImaSophie]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I am not going to deny that her comments were completely inappropriate and she probably should be reported.

That being said, generally breastfeeding laws state that you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your baby has the right to be. I am assuming you have to take this course as some sort of punishment for tickets or other bad driving. If they don't allow babies, you don't have a right to breastfeed there and I don't think you can reasonable expect them to make an exception. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but if you racked up sufficient tickets to merit having to take a class as a punishment, you may have to just make accommodations or deal with not driving until you can take the class.

I agree I breastfed both boys into toddler-hood and at a little over a year if you feed well in the am before you go and then during the 20 min break and then right after class is over for the day kiddo should be fine. Is it an ideal situation no its not but it is not a forever thing just think of it as if you had an accident and were unable to BF'd for the day.

Also since you know what date the class will be you can always build up a stash of milk just in-case baby needs a little boost during that day.

The woman on the phone was out of line but I don't think you are being discriminated the driver course is a punishment and you just have to get it over with or risk bigger consequences down the road.

[sosurreal09]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I am not going to deny that her comments were completely inappropriate and she probably should be reported.

That being said, generally breastfeeding laws state that you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your baby has the right to be. I am assuming you have to take this course as some sort of punishment for tickets or other bad driving. If they don't allow babies, you don't have a right to breastfeed there and I don't think you can reasonable expect them to make an exception. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but if you racked up sufficient tickets to merit having to take a class as a punishment, you may have to just make accommodations or deal with not driving until you can take the class.

i realise this. i know its MY fault, i was just trying to arrange something so we could work out DDs nursing and i posted just about the ridiculousness of the whole thing and the unbelievably inappropriate comments from the RMV woman about BFing in general!

[sosurreal09]

i meant the discrimination about BFing.

DD still nurses a lot i dont think she can go 5 hrs without nusing, my breats do not respond to the pump hardly at all anymore but i have been trying to get something going...all i wanted was to be able to nurse her on the 10 min break as well and i said well it will probably take 15 mins though and i was told i would be kicked out then, thats when i asked about her nursing in the room with me ect ect but that still has nothing to do with the discrimination. The fact that the original woman made me feel discriminated as an American for Bfing is what gets me. she talked to me like i was an idiot and was talking down to me KWIM? i just called to see what my options were and i get "informed" that i should not even be Bfing?!?! seriously...

my first coment was the basis of the discrimintion and the thread my second was just me complaining lol

[annettemarie]

Well, yeah, her comments were definitely WTFifying. I mean, you don't call the DMV looking for breastfeeding advice. It just sounded like you were accusing the state of Massachusetts of being anti-breastfeeding, which I didn't get.

[sosurreal09]

oh no i just meant the RMV lady not the state MA does pretty well. i was saying we ar ein a supposedly pro bfing state but when i call the states RMV i get harrassed about BFing KWIM?

[Zoesmama]

Wow what a crazy person that was. While the person was quite rude and really those comments were uncalled for you can do what most people would do and just pump a few bottles and go take care of business. I'm all for exclusively breastfeeding but these things happen.

She was totally discriminatory but the state rules of no kids at the class isn't to be considered discrimination because you are breastfeeding. A rule is a rule. What kind of message would they be sending if they say a person needs re-training and instead of paying attention they sit with their child. It just can't work so I understand their problems.

When dd was 3 months I had went back to work for 5 hours a day and dd didn't adjust to the bottle yet so she'd essentially wait for me to get home. She was completely fine. I think she'd be more than fine by doing a lunch break nursing and dh offering her EBM in between. Its a one day class right? The only time dd had a major day of crying her dad brought her to my work and I nursed her at a break. All was well.

[Heba]

I'm gobsmacked. Her comments were totally out of line and completely irrelevant to whether you were allowed to breastfeed in the class or not. *Sigh.*

Well done for lodging a complaint, and also I hope you find a solution which works for you and your little one.