Anyone with a 2 yr old who DOESN'T "tantrum"?

[LadyCatherine185]

My DS has never been an "easy" kid.. As a baby he was very fussy, didn't sleep, and just never seemed happy. As a toddler now he is much happier and finally sleeping through the night most nights, but still a handful in the sense of being on-the-go 24/7, won't sit still, doesn't listen (especially when I tell him to stay out of the road ), runs away from me in public places because he thinks it is funny, and can be pretty whiney at times. But, he just turned 2 in August, and he has yet to throw a real "tantrum." Now, he does have his melt-down moments, when there is something he really wants that he can't have, he will cry for a few minutes, but usually with a good explanation and distraction, he is on to the next thing. And usually the meltdowns coincide with being hungry or tired.

I attribute a lot of this to the fact that is really verbal, not that he always get what he wants, but he understands when I tell him "you can't have that knife because it is very sharp and dangerous." He is also pretty adventurous/curious and independant....

I guess I'm wondering-- does this mean the tantrums are coming, but haven't gotten here yet? Or is God being merciful on me because DS was such a difficult baby and we get to skip that stage altogether? Like I said, a pretty normal toddler, and still a handful at times, we just don't have screaming/throwing himself of the floor/hitting tantrums. Even as a baby, he never cried really hard, but he fussed a lot (no matter what I did...). Anyone else have a similar experience with their DC?

[Cujobunny]

My ds didn't have any tantrums. He was very verbal (still is, of course lol) so it was always easy to negotiate, reason, explain. He was a happy baby but a terrible sleeper. He was, and is, very cautious, he never ran away into the street or anything like that. He is still an intense littly guy though, he gets angry and upset at his sister and yells and screams at her. He's very active, very very smart. Talks all.the.time. Reads way over his age level, loves science, is very curious.

I think it's just a personality trait- tantrums may come your way yet, they may not. Enjoy it for now, anyway.

My dd on the other hand, now that's a TOTALLY different story....

ETA: I just saw you are expecting your 2nd My 2nd was much more difficult than my 1st, but either she wasn't that difficult after all or I forgot how difficult she was because we're having a 3rd in February

[poorlittlefish]

My DD is 2 1/2 and has never thrown an all out tantrum. Like your child, she gets mad and yells sometimes but has never done a down-on-the-ground-kicking-and-screaming thing. Even when mad, it passes in 2 mins or less usually. Count me in on being one of the lucky ones.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

My ds didn't have any tantrums. He was very verbal (still is, of course lol) so it was always easy to negotiate, reason, explain. He was a happy baby but a terrible sleeper. He is still an intense littly guy though, he gets angry and upset at his sister and yells and screams at her. He's very active, very very smart. Talks all.the.time. Reads way over his age level, loves science, is very curious.

I think it's just a personality trait- tantrums may come your way yet, they may not. Enjoy it for now, anyway.

My dd on the other hand, now that's a TOTALLY different story....

this sounds like my DS.. very smart and very active and very curious. At his 2 year checkup last week his doctor said he was more like a 3 year old than a 2 year old in terms of language development. I have been able to "reason" with him from a very young age, and I feel like that helps.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

ETA: I just saw you are expecting your 2nd My 2nd was much more difficult than my 1st, but either she wasn't that difficult after all or I forgot how difficult she was because we're having a 3rd in February

I am really hoping that my 2nd is easier as a baby, Liam was SUCH a hard baby. Never could be put down, fussed/cried all the time, woke every hour or more until he was 18 months old, had reflux/food allergies, etc etc.... Once he started walking though (at 9.5 months) he became much happier, still didn't sleep, but at least was happy most of the time. I can handle a difficult toddler, but I really want #2 to be an easier baby... well, even just a NORMAL baby..

I guess I am just really surprised at how "easygoing" Liam is as a toddler compared with how high needs he was as a baby.

[ledzepplon]

My dd was a super high-needs baby, but grew into the mellowest toddler. No tantrums at all. She's still pretty easy going. She was/is very verbal, but I think her personality is just such that she can easily go with the flow.

Ds1 had no tantrums at 2, but at 3 years, he made up for it! He's very intense and emotional.

So far it seems that ds2, who was a relaxed baby, may be our stereotypical two year old. He's very happy-go-lucky most of the time, but he'll definitely let you know what he wants and likes--and what he doesn't!

[redvlagrl]

We've never had a kicking and screaming on the floor type tantrum. I don't know if angry crying counts but we do have some of that sometimes. Everyone also comments that DD is mellow.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by redvlagrl

We've never had a kicking and screaming on the floor type tantrum. I don't know if angry crying counts but we do have some of that sometimes. Everyone also comments that DD is mellow.

we have angry crying at times too... but no one ever comments that DS is mellow.. usually it is "wow, he is busy!" he is active and "all boy" if you will, but pretty happy most of the time.

[ellemenope]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

I have been able to "reason" with him from a very young age, and I feel like that helps.

I attribute my DD lack of tantruming to 3 things in no particular order, but I think all 3 of these things are key with my DD.

1. Temperement
2. Advanced verbal/cognative skills
3. Permissive parents

She is just pretty laid back, standoffish, and cautious. She likes to stay in her bubble. Yes, she is curious about what is on top of the refridgerator, but she does not want climb up there and look for herself, she just asks me about it.

So, being able to verbalize her wants helps. Also, we were able to reason with her at a very young age, too, like you can with your son. At 18 months she understood first-then statements...Wait, at around 18 months she was saying them ("first we eat, then we can go to the library.") I am sure she understood them long before she could verbalize them. We just explain things to her and she understands.

We explain a lot to her. We talk to her a lot. And, we also give into a lot of her demands. We are very permissive. We have always tried to eliminate battles in our lives by comprimise, and I have always believed that there are appropriate times for teaching moments, but that the majority of the time in a young toddlers life should be pretty carefree, and it is my job to keep her safe and happy. For example, if she is acting out, the behaviour is more than likely a result of her being tired, hungry, frustrated...not a teachable moment. It is my job to bring her back in harmony and model appropriate responses to her feelings.

FWIW, DD is ridiculously well behaved. I am not exaggerating when I say at least 1 out of every 2 times we go out we get compliments on her behaviour.

We were leaving Pottery barn Kids last night (her favorite place), and I told her we had to go and she said, "Noooo." This would probably be the beginning of a tantrum for another child. I picked her up and showed her things on the upper shelves and explained to her where we going. She happily walked out of that store saying goodbye to the strollers and baby dolls.

So,yeah, I am with you--wondering if we are lucky or really in for it in the near future.

I also was explaining in the other thread how she does this new thing where she makes her face all red and hold up her clenched fist to her face and yells (although not loud, just emphasized) a long request of what she wants to do. An example,

"I...just...want...to...lie...in...my...bed...and. ..you...cover...me....uuuuup!"

But, that's it. No crying, screaming, shrieking, kicking, rolling around on the floor. She will say that statement and then give me a pretty intense look. This happens about once a day now. I believe this to be my DD's tantruming, but I dunno.

[LadyCatherine185]

yeah, if DS is curious about something on top of the fridge, he will be up there in no time..

[EzzysMom]

Yeah we're in the same boat as you at almost 2.5. I'm hoping it sticks. She'll cry and be unhappy but yes she too was an intense baby with high needs and little sleep. Now she sleeps through and is VERY verbal as well, she can say most anything she wants. We really do try to work on compromises too, and I try to point them out so she can see mommy being flexible with her too. New baby coming soon too, so we may see some new behaviors from her, we'll see...

[JudiAU]

DS was well really laid back until around 3. He is more challenging now but he has an easier temperament than our 1 year old.

[Nicole730]

My son has had a total of 2 tantrums. Both at home. The first one was a full-fledged on the floor kicking and screaming monstrosity that lasted on and off for almost one hour! That was right around his 2nd birthday. Now, at 29 months, he throws himself a little more often, but it is usually not accompianed by any screaming/yelling, which is nice.

[just_lily]

My DD turned 2 in July, and we have way fewer tantrums now than we did between 12 and 18 months. She is much easier to reason with, and she can verbalize what she wants most of the time.

She definitely had a number of fling yourself down, flop and flail type tantrums when she was smaller though. Now when they do happen it is mainly due to sleep and hunger and they are pretty rare.

[Drummer's Wife]

My youngest didn't start tantruming until he was 3. Age 2, with all four of my kids, has been a breeze compared to 3-4.

[carmel23]

My kids don't really tantrum, either. Sure they've been upset about things, but I wouldn't characterize it as tantrum.

I did have some interesting challenges with their behavior from ages 4.5 to 5.5, though , (especially my boys!).

Edit to add: keeping toddlers well rested and well fed helps a lot. My oldest son does have some blood sugar issues, and will act strangely in a low blood sugar moment. Just something to consider.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

My youngest didn't start tantruming until he was 3. Age 2, with all four of my kids, has been a breeze compared to 3-4.

THIS is why I was not posting to this thread.

But DS shares characteristics of others on this thread. Easy temperament, fairly verbal, very physically active but can control self.

We were leaving Pottery barn Kids last night (her favorite place), and I told her we had to go and she said, "Noooo." This would probably be the beginning of a tantrum for another child. I picked her up and showed her things on the upper shelves and explained to her where we going. She happily walked out of that store saying goodbye to the strollers and baby dolls.

We do a lot of this. Trying to anticipate, redirect, empathize...

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by ASusan

THIS is why I was not posting to this thread.

But DS shares characteristics of others on this thread. Easy temperament, fairly verbal, very physically active but can control self.



We do a lot of this. Trying to anticipate, redirect, empathize...

But this is what I want to know! That even though he isn't throwing tantrums now, I can expect it closer to age 3, etc...

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

But this is what I want to know! That even though he isn't throwing tantrums now, I can expect it closer to age 3, etc...

No, no. What I meant was, "Well we haven't had tantrums so far, but he turns 3 next month and he was out of sorts this morning and refused to pick up his shorts and sandal that he threw across the laundry room, and I really tried to avoid a power struggle, and I could see that potentially turning into a tantrum in a few months, so I should just count my blessings and keep my mouth shut at this point."

He hasn't YET tantrumed, but...one never knows.

[LadyCatherine185]

I also wanted to mention that when he falls and hurts himself he rarely cries. Unless he REALLY hurts himself, and even then it is minimal crying and over within 1-2 minutes.. and trust me, he's had his share of scrapes and bruises.