Anyone with a 2 yr old who DOESN'T "tantrum"? - Page 2

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

Now, he does have his melt-down moments, when there is something he really wants that he can't have, he will cry for a few minutes, but usually with a good explanation and distraction, he is on to the next thing.

This was ds1 (who is now 6yo). He never had a tantrum stage. Most of the time, he whined or cried, but nothing "violent" sounding. His receptive language was great from a young age, so, like yours, he responded well to explanations and redirecting. And usually, if he wanted to make an impression, he'd place himself carefully on the floor, and move his hands and feet- there was no screaming and kicking. lol. It was like a tantrum lite.
Now, that's not to say that he *never* had a tantrum. I remember a few isolated events where he had a full blown meltdown, complete with screaming and kicking. Once at the grocery store . That sucked. But I think that happened, at most, 3 times.

So I think it's very possible that you will never have a tantrum stage!

eta:

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

I guess I am just really surprised at how "easygoing" Liam is as a toddler compared with how high needs he was as a baby.

Ds1 was a high needs baby. He needed to be held all the time (until he started crawling, he was literally in arms 22 hours out of the day. He wouldn't sleep unless he was in my arms). He was happy, though, as long as he was nursed and held when he wanted. Even after he started walking, he wanted one of us right there with him at all times.
But man, was he easygoing as a toddler! He still wanted constant attention, but he listened so well, followed rules, and was friendly to everyone. People loved him!

If it helps any, ds2 was an easier baby. Wanted held a lot, but was also happy being down for a bit. He'll even nap in the playpen for half of his nap (not a chance that would've happened with ds1!) As he's gotten older and more mobile, he doesn't need to be held much at all. So he's easier in that sense. But he's WAY more active, way more into stuff, and way less cautious than ds1 was. I'm just hoping he's even half as easy as ds1 was as a toddler!!

[crunchy_mommy]

Interesting. We definitely have our moments & DS is only 19mos so I'm sure many more are ahead of us. He doesn't fling himself on the floor but he will stomp on the floor or if I'm holding him, make his entire body ramrod straight and scream... Most of the time I can distract him within a minute or two but when he really wants (or doesn't want) something, it takes much longer to calm him... Generally we'll go a bunch of days with no major tantrums and then we'll have a day or two of tantrumming about every little thing, so I figure those days he may be overtired or stressed or sick or going through a developmental change...

However he shares many traits with the non-tantruming kids... he was a high-needs baby & still hasn't outgrown it -- he is somewhat calm most days, as long as I do everything exactly right & don't do anything that could possibly meet my OWN basic needs (you know, eating, sleeping, peeing...) He is highly verbal too, and his receptive language is even better, but if you say, "No you can't play with the knife because you could get hurt," he could care less. I swear I think he likes getting boo-boos & he's always finding imaginary boo-boos so I can kiss them so maybe that's why my reasoning doesn't work for him. He doesn't cry when he gets hurt either unless it's really bad -- and even then he is calm a minute or so later. But he HATES loud noises and goes hysterical if there's a loud truck down the street. So I think he is hypersensitive to some things. Wow I think I'm rambling & getting way off topic... Anyway. I have to say I'm jealous... we try hard to avoid power struggles but sometimes the tantrums come no matter what we do. I always thought I'd have an easy toddler since he was so difficult as a baby. And I did -- for exactly one month, from 14 mos - 15 mos, which will forever be my favorite age.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

I also wanted to mention that when he falls and hurts himself he rarely cries. Unless he REALLY hurts himself, and even then it is minimal crying and over within 1-2 minutes.. and trust me, he's had his share of scrapes and bruises.

Same here. With fewer bumps and bruises than a typical child, I think. He's always been very coordinated so didn't fall much.

And of the 3 times he's fallen hard and scraped his knees, I've inadvertently caused 2 of them.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka

Ds1 was a high needs baby. He needed to be held all the time (until he started crawling, he was literally in arms 22 hours out of the day. He wouldn't sleep unless he was in my arms). He was happy, though, as long as he was nursed and held when he wanted. Even after he started walking, he wanted one of us right there with him at all times.
But man, was he easygoing as a toddler! He still wanted constant attention, but he listened so well, followed rules, and was friendly to everyone. People loved him!

Liam wanted to be held all the time but still wasn't happy.. And once he started walking he just took off, and became happy. He doesn't listen well or follow rules either.. and he is NOT cautious at all, into everything, and very active. But he is very friendly and loves to talk to everyone he meets. Everywhere we go he makes a new "friend." He's very social. And pretty independant these days. I think he was really unhappy as a baby because he was bored and frustrated by his limitations.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by ASusan

Same here. With fewer bumps and bruises than a typical child, I think. He's always been very coordinated so didn't fall much.

And of the 3 times he's fallen hard and scraped his knees, I've inadvertently caused 2 of them.

Liam falls a LOT. I mean, no more than "normal" for his age, and he is always running around and climbing on things, etc..

[Friday13th]

DS1 is almost 3 (so I'm probably damning myself to a year of tantrums by posting this) but he's never had a tantrum. He weeps, usually while trying to explain what he's weeping about and occasionally if he's really upset (or tired) he carefully lowers himself to the ground in child's pose and continues weeping like that.
He was a pretty grumpy baby until he could sit up, right before 5 months and from then on has been really easy going. He's also pretty receptive to our reasoning why he can't do things and as long as you give him fair warning, he's really agreeable to leaving and other transitions that tend to upset toddlers.
DS2 is still in the screaming/high needs portion of infancy and I'm desperately hoping once he reaches whatever milestone he needs to be more content he'll take the same path as his brother.

[Aufilia]

My daughter never had tantrums when she was 2. Maybe in part it was because she was precociously verbal, and never had trouble expressing her needs. But mostly I think it was her temperament. She was just a milder kid than many.

My son, however -- he is very intense. He's also very loud, and it's never easy to calm him down. I am sure he will be exactly the kind of 2-year-old who will fling himself to the floor in the grocery store and pound his little fists on the ground while he wails at the top of his lungs.

[MountainMamaGC]

The more my daughter can talk the less she tantrums. I also encourage tears over rage. If she gets upset I tell her its ok to cry. I think that crying is acceptance, where tantrums/rage is the opposite. They just havent accepted the circumstances.

I also try to distract or redirect. Now that she is older I use humor a lot more.

[loraxc]

I have to laugh a little at the theory that children who are verbal early do not tend to throw tantrums. DD was the earliest talker as a toddler that I've ever encountered in person, speaking in long sentences by 18 months, and holy crud, could she ever throw a doozy of a tantrum, starting at less than one year old. She still throws the occasional humdinger, in fact, and she will be 7 soon. Her tantrums often involve the fevered screaming of long arguments as to why she is right and you are wrong.

Her younger brother, while still a very verbal child for his age, was not nearly as ahead with language when he was younger, and he has probably had 5 tantrums in his life. They aren't really even tantrums compared to DD, either, but I suppose someone else would call them such.

I don't think it's got all that much to do with skills, in other words. I think it's temperament.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by loraxc

I have to laugh a little at the theory that children who are verbal early do not tend to throw tantrums. DD was the earliest talker as a toddler that I've ever encountered in person, speaking in long sentences by 18 months, and holy crud, could she ever throw a doozy of a tantrum, starting at less than one year old. She still throws the occasional humdinger, in fact, and she will be 7 soon. Her tantrums often involve the fevered screaming of long arguments as to why she is right and you are wrong.

Oh phew I thought I was the only one with a very verbal, tantrumming toddler!!

[Polliwog]

My STBAD never had a tantrum when she was two. Then she turned three... DS, on the other hand, had much bigger tantrums when he turned five.

[Crazybean]

My 1st DS was a hard baby too. We had all sorts of issues with him. When the 2's came, there were no tantrums but he was very verbal... I even said multiple times that the "terrible twos didn't exist" THEN the 3's came. Apparently he took the 2 year old tantrums and mixed it in with major attitude, major whining and talking back for age 3. I can not WAIT to be out of this stage.

[ellemenope]

DD is very rule-oriented. All you have to do is tell her she can't and why and she holds on to that. We actually have to be careful about this.

Some popular ones she will say many many times a day:

I can't touch glass, it might break.

I can't touch merchandise. It's for buying, not playing.

I don't play with knives. They are sharp.

I don't throw my toys. They might break.

I have to stay close to mommy in the street. Mommy keeps me safe from cars.

I don't hit people. People have feelings.

We have found by giving her a rule, making her repeat it back to us, and then very quickly giving her a quiz, it solidifies it in her head. "Do you touch candles?" "No, I don't touch candles because they can burn me."

So, that is how I feel being verbal helps. But, I totally agree about temperament is EVERYTHING.

She still has some impulse control issues. She just can't control herself when it comes to water. No matter how many times you tell her to not put something in Daddy's water, she still does it. And, she also will not stop force feeding me things. It is so annoying. I tell her it is not nice, etc. She just can't stop herself. It is bizzare.

And, I am so ready for the backtalking stage. She already does a primitive form of that now. How can I nip that in the bud?

[tjjazzy]

ds1 didn't have tantrums. he only really ever had one and that was right after he turned 4. he was verbal quite early too and i think that was part of it. ds2, on the other hand, is only now becoming really verbal (he's turning 2 soon) and he definitely has tantrums. at first, we couldn't figure out what was wrong with him b/c we hadn't experienced it before. we were racking our brains, thinking teeth? illness? pain??? lol then we realized DUH, he's nearly 2. tantrums! LOL