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heard the most selfish thing today

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
My neighbor's sister-in-law somehow made herself go into early labor (I'm talking like 33ish or a few wks later timeframe) with her 3 kids because she didn't want to get bigger. And yes, all her kids have some kind of "issues" now too. I couldn't believe that someone would do that! I was shocked!
post #2 of 16
thread crashing to say that if anyone could "make" themselves go into labour then a lot of overdue pregnant ladies facing induction should get this girl's number cuz some women try EVERYTHING from castor oil to membrane sweeping and it does nothing unless the body is ready. Sounds like an exaggerated rumour to me.
post #3 of 16
Only thing I can come up with is broke her own water.

post #4 of 16
I don't think you can make yourself go into labor unless your body is ready, esp that early without serious intervention .. like dachshundqueen said, short of breaking water I don't think you could do it.
post #5 of 16
Yes, please find out her secrets. I would like to avoid induction in two weeks!

I don't even want to think about how she might have broken her own water, though...
post #6 of 16
I have heard of a few celebrities getting induced very early (35w-ish) to avoid stretch marks, etc. If you've got money you can find a doctor who will do anything you want...
post #7 of 16
sounds like someone is not being completely honest. you would think the medical bills alone would be enough to prevent a selfish person from wanting to give birth to a premature baby twice in a row.
post #8 of 16
Thread Starter 
she was a military spouse at the time. Which is free medical for all our prenatal and delivery. I do think she was after 34 weeks though. Our military doctors won't stop a labor if you're after 33 or 34 weeks. I kinda do believe her and I kinda don't at the same time. Her 3 kids were born premature. They all have some sort of problem. And she is the type of person who would do something like that so that she won't get too big. I don't know what she did though. If she starved herself, smoked, broke her own water. I don't know. But I do agree that there is a piece of the story missing. I just thought that was so selfish of someone to even say that much less to try everything in her power to actually follow through with (and be proud of it!).
post #9 of 16
I would not take that at face value, especially secondhand. She may have a legitimate medical condition that made her unable to carry those babies to full term. Unless you heard the mother say herself that she gave birth early for completely selfish reasons, I wouldn't believe it. I have a friend whose 3 kids were all born prior to 34 weeks because she has a medical condition that does not allow her to carry to term and I hope people aren't saying things like this behind HER back because she tried so hard to carry them as long as she possibly could.
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
No. Heard it first hand.
post #11 of 16
I am thinking that she was making a dark joke about her births, because I have no idea how you can make yourself go into labor early, short of throwing yourself down the stairs or injecting a pitocin drip yourself. And even then, neither of those are totally reliable methods!
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
To be honest, I was completely shocked that she would say something like that. True or not true. Why would you say that?!
post #13 of 16
Originally Posted by southernmommie View Post
To be honest, I was completely shocked that she would say something like that. True or not true. Why would you say that?!
Having a premature baby can be very difficult for mothers, emotionally. Sometimes they feel like their bodies have failed, in being unable to bring a baby to term. I'm not saying that's rational: women who experience miscarriage also commonly feel like they are "failures." For her to have this experience multiple times would only compound those feelings, if indeed she has them. And people deal with failure, grief, their own negative traits in different ways: making inappropriate and off color jokes is a not uncommon one.

I don't know this woman, and maybe she is a total pill, but her making this totally unlikely statement was so inappropriate that it makes me think that she is still working through her experiences. Having one premature baby can leave long-standing emotional scars: I read an article not too long ago that said that parents of preemies often show signs of PTSD only about 6 months to a year after their babies are born. I think that the authors hypothesized that these parents put so much effort into remaining strong during the initial crisis stage that they don't really react until everything is in the clear. I can only assume that having 3 premature babies would be 3 times the worry.
post #14 of 16
I have heard of women who were able to convince doctors to induce or schedule elective c-sections for 37 weeks on the dot. Basically the moment the baby's lungs are fully mature and the earliest moment of qualifing as full-term (which I always thought was 38 wks, not 37.) They do this because they don't want to get any bigger and don't want to be pregnant anymore, not for medical reasons. Apparently many OBs are amenable. I haven't heard of doctors consenting to this before 37 wks, but you never know.

I don't agree with it, but unfortunately I think it is increasingly common.
post #15 of 16
I often make jokes about the most difficult things in my life. It either puts people at ease or it makes them very uncomfortable. I could definitely imagine someone, trying to make light of an extremely difficult situation, saying jokingly "Well, you know, I made sure they came early enough that I didn't get stretch marks!"

That could really be an attempt at looking at the bright side. And, even when you're out of control of the situation, you either blame yourself or try to find a way in which you're in control. So, this could be her trying to make light of the fact that it was out of her control.
post #16 of 16
I agree with lach, since it was my first instinctual though upon reading the first post.
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