How compatible is Waldorf with Attachment Parenting? - Page 2

[Melaniee]

Ours had a place outside of the main classroom for nursing. It was discouraged to sit in the group and nurse. The reason we were given was that once one started pretty soon they all would and then there would be no class. I could totally see that happening! Whereas if one really needs to, you took them out of the play area, nursed, then returned. I never felt ostracized or anything like that, and understood the reasons. The nursing area was used by many of the parents. As well some who'd prefer not be nursing all morning long would use that as an explanation to the older toddlers "someone else is in the chair...we will need to leave the room..." etc. I should point out the children were given snack during the class so it wasn't a hunger thing. From my observation the children who needed to nurse for comfort (or nourishment in the younger ones) did, those who were wanting to out of habit or thirst, the mothers would usually not. However, obviously, YMMV.

[sillysmile]

Originally Posted by babygirlsmama

The two things I'm hearing about in our program that caused me to ask these questions are (1) they discourage nursing during the parent/toddler class time (I am pretty sure the teachers would make us go outside if we needed to nurse, but I think they would prefer we hold off alltogether during class); and (2) the teachers insist the child must come to the parent if needed and they seem to discourage affirmatively comforting the children.

Example --toddler fussing, crawling toward mama. Mama says, "Sweetie, do you want to sit in my lap?" Teacher: "Don't offer that. She will come to you and sit in your lap if she needs you."

To be sure, it is a subtle line. I suppose the children will know we are there, so if they need us obviously they can climb in our laps. Without knowing, I'm guessing this is about boundaries and trying to observe where the edges are to the child's independence. I certainly don't think any teacher would discourage a parent from comforting a baby who was in distress (as opossed to just frustrated or mildly fussing).

Overall, this has really peaked my curiosity. It seems to me that everything in Waldorf is very intentional (ie what color paint is on the walls, what toys are in the room, what is said to the children), so I guess these nuances of interaction are intentional, and I will eventually understand the reasons behind them. So, on that note, can anyone shed some light on the two things I mention and the reasoning behind it? (ie not nursing during class, and not offering comfort?)

Babygirlsmama

I've participated in two different Waldorf parent-tot programs, an attachment parenting group (through meetup) and two different "mainstream" parent-tot programs. These are generalizations from my experience only, and may not be typical...

The Waldorf parents are very crunchy in terms of things like cloth diapering, the way that they dress their children, and simple living.

In the AP playgroups and "mainstream" parent-tot programs, there is more of a focus on the children, and more parent-child interaction overall. In the Waldorf parent-tot programs, the parents are encouraged to foster independent play and model purposeful work (which doesn't involve the children). This doesn't mean that there is no parent-child interaction, but there is just LESS. For example, there is always "circle time" in the Waldorf groups with singing and rhymes, but this is usually 10 minutes or so out of 2 hours.

As I have posted previously, I have seen a case where a fussing child (pretty upset, in my opinion) was left on her own, and the parent was praised (by the Waldorf teacher) for "holding her ground" and not proactively going over to comfort the child. Again, this is all a part of fostering independent play. The child's "work" is to play, and the parents' "work" is to do handwork or some specific chore that has been assigned. There are always separate activities for parent and child.

In a traditional parent-tot program, there are usually no specific activities for the parents, so they usually stay near their children and interact with them as they are exploring various activities (e.g. painting, water play, play dough, etc).

I like different aspects about each style of program, so I'm glad that we're participating in both.