What do you think is the best child spacing?

[GuavaGirl]

After you vote, feel free to tell why, if you have more to add!

[Knitting Mama]

I voted other because I am not sure yet! One the one hand I want a decent gap so that Cecilia is a little more independent when the new baby comes, but on the other hand I am nearly 32 as well as diabetic (full-time), so I worry about waiting too long and my health.

[Nicole730]

I like 2 years because I want 4 kids and I want them close enough together that they will be great playmates when they are younger. And I don't want to spread out the baby - tiredness stuff over that many years. A nice, compact 8 years of no sleep is what I'm shooting for So far, I have two kids - 22 months apart. I think the next one will be more like 25 or 26 months apart.

[Drummer's Wife]

I voted 2 years. I have four kids, each 23-25 months apart. It has worked out well, and I am happy with this spacing.

That all said, I do see the advantages to waiting a bit longer in-between babies. Especially if you hope to breastfeed for at least 2 full years. I was able to tandem nurse with my last two, but for some women, their milk dries up or they have issues nursing while pregnant.

[hakeber]

I said 4 because mine are about 4.8 years apart and Benjamin has been really into his sister. He had already started school so he didn't feel chucked out and replaced. He was part of the decision, and in fact was the catalyst and so was really into the whole pregnancy. He also got to be his own person in the family first and we got to see some of the consequences of our child rearing habits before testing them out on child #2.

I also got a good three and half years of solid sleep in which helps!

[atpeace]

I wanted to vote for 3.5, but voted 4 instead. DD is 3.5 years older than DS, and it worked out so perfectly for us, even though we didn't specifically plan it that way. DS was born in June, so we had two months of all of us being home this summer before DD started junior kindergarten. She was able to bond and get to know her little brother, and we had plenty of time for both kids. Plus, she's a huge help, and we able to understand much more about the realities of babies.

Also, now that's she's in school part time, and I'm on mat. leave until next June, I'll get to spend some time with just DS, to bond with him without anyone else around. It's perfect!

[LynnS6]

I think 3 is a really great spacing. Our kids are far enough apart that our 3 year old had a little independence and ability to wait when dd was a newborn. On the other hand, they're close enough to play together.

I know that 2 years is really common, but it seems to me that I see a lot more sibling rivalry with a 2 year gap than I do with a 3 year gap. It could just be my sample though!

[kriket]

I voted both 2 and 3

My sister and I are 22m apart, and played together a lot when we were little, and we are close as adults (we live about 1200 miles away from each other)

DS is 17m, and I have really been thinking about another. I would like to get PG before he is 2.5

[carmel23]

3 years:

older child is out of diapers, independent, but still young enough to play with baby.

[loveneverfails]

At least 3 feet apart, so that no one can yell "HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!"

[chel]

9.5yrs is how it worked out for me. not planned, but so far i'm really liking it. i have 3 siblings and we are spaced a total of 12yrs apart so i'm use to having siblings more than just a year or two older or younger as well as very close, closest is 20m.

i think there are so many factors that works for one family might not be best for another.

dd1 wishes i would have brought home a dog instead of a baby, but i hope in a few years that will change (baby older plus a real dog, too)

[DevaMajka]

I voted 5+, but I think right about 5yrs is ideal for me. Ds1 was 4y11m when ds2 was born, and it's worked out REALLY well for us. Ds1 can help out with ds2, and he was/is independent enough to get his own snack if I was tied down nursing ds2.

It probably would have worked ok if ds1 had been closer to 4. I can't even imagine having less than a 4year age gap. Ds1 was very clingy and nursed a LOT until he was 3.5. I would have flipped out!

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by loveneverfails

At least 3 feet apart, so that no one can yell "HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!"

I picked 3 years. My first two were 4 years apart, 2 and 3 were 2.5 years apart, and 3 and 4 will also be 2.5 years apart. I think 2.5 has worked pretty well. 4 is nice in that the other is old enough to be fairly independent and not need so much one on one attention, but I think it's harder to connect as siblings. Dd2 is also special needs, so dd1 really seems more than 4 years older, my mom mentioned the other day that she acts more like an only child.

Anyway, I definitely would not intentionally space kids less than 2 years apart, that would just be way too hard to me.

[wookie]

i say 3. only because that's how mine are. they each other to bits, play well enough together, there was nil rivalry, older ds now goes to school so lots of personal time with younger one. also, i could only handle one diapered/pl'ing child at one time.

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by loveneverfails

At least 3 feet apart, so that no one can yell "HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!"

This applies, regardless of age difference, and is especially important the more children you have.

[momto4plus4]

I said 2 years. My first two are 4 yrs apart, my middle two are 2 years apart and my last two are 3 years apart. I found the 3 & 4 year spacing caused a lot more issues with jealousy in my kids. The 2 year old could have cared less. That said, my 2nd & 4th are boys and it was my girls that were more jealous. There was also a lot more stress when the 2nd & 4th were born which could have added to the security issues.

[Peony]

3 years gets my vote. Under that and it is just plain rough, too much more then that and if you want more then 2 children, you could be doing this baby thing for what feels like forever.

And the 3 feet thing also gets a thumb up, but I will add in a wall between them so I don't hear about someone breathing their air or making faces at them.

[bdoody11]

I'll vote for 3 years. One, because mine are spaced 3 years apart and it is so far so good. And two, because a woman I met at the Y today also thought that 3 years was the best spacing too. She does not recommend spacing each of your first three children 18 months apart.

[katroshka]

I voted for 1 and 2 years, but what I really mean is between the two, I'd say 15-20 months. My daughters are 15 months apart, and I love that they are so close, such good friends, have a lot of the same friends, and are roughly at the same stage of development. I'm pregnant with #3 right now, and my daughters are 8 and 9 (I'm popping in here to get back into the baby groove). I want to have #4 around 18 months after this one (I'd like to give my body a little more rest and be able to BF this one longer). I have a lot of aunts and uncles that were similarly or even less spaced apart, and they are really close and had a lot of fun growing up together, a lot more than the ones that were further apart.

But really, I think it is all about what feels right to each individual family, and all the above is just reasoning for my own family!

[tabrizia]

I went with other. I will have 23 months between DS and DD and then 24 months between DD and newbie when they arrive. This spacing works for me and I love the 2 year age gap between DS and DD now that DD is 1 and DS is more independent. That being said newbie was a bit of a surprise and we were planning on a slightly longer gap between DD and newbie, 3ish years, since I thought that would be a nice gap as well, I am happy with how it turned out, but I think it really depends on the children and the family.

Everyone's answer is going to be different there is no perfect age gap for everyone. I couldn't do less then 22 months apart because a full 12 months of nursing without me being pregnant is so important to me for each child, so people feel that 24 months of nursing is very important to them, some people don't want to pay for day care for two, etc etc. It really depends on each families circumstances and what they feel like they can handle.


That being said, I totally agree on the 3 feet apart at all time answer .