Sibling Jealousy

[Chloe'sMama]

DD1 (almost 27 months) is having a very hard time adjusting to the baby. We all co-sleep and whenever I need to nurse baby or am cuddling with her, DD1 cries. DH is not able to comfort DD1. I am nursing DD1 3-4 times in 24 hours and wont be nursing her on demand until I feel like nursing baby is well established and I know DD2 is gaining well. DD1 says 'no milk baby Hannah' almost every time I nurse DD2. DD1 has also tried to pull baby out of my arms and out of the bounce seat several times, it seems out of anger.... When we are not paying attention to her. We are trying to make lots of special time and reading books when baby nurses, but it seems it is getting worse (we are 12 days out).

My mom is able to keep DD1 pretty entertained most of the time, but I am scared for when she leaves in 12 days.

DH is talking about weaning, but I don't like that idea. HELP.

[sattygirl99]

Weaning your oldest is not a good idea IMO... It will make the jealousy worse. Is there a reason you're limiting her at all? As long as you always nurse the baby first, let your oldest nurse as much as she wants... It will help cut down on the jealousy, IMO. She nursed on demand up until the new baby came and now that's been taken away from her... That would make me angry and jealous too!

Big hugs...!

[Chloe'sMama]

we were pretty much on the same nursing schedule before baby arrived.... She didn't ask except at night, first thing in the morning and naptime. She says the no baby milk thing even if i just nursed DD1. It seems more about cuddling and attention than milk.

DD2 seems to have a lazy suck and is not gaining nearly as fast as DD1 did so I want to make sure she is getting enough. DD1 gained 3 lbs in the first month and 3 lbs in the second month. DD2 was 5 oz over birth weight at 11 days... still good, but not as much as DD1.

[sattygirl99]

She may not gain as much as your older DD though... She's a different baby. Her needs may be different. As long as she's gaining, she's nursing just fine! 5 oz above birth weight at less than 2 weeks old is great!! I know they like to see babies regain their BW by 2 weeks. She may not have a lazy suck... That may just be her! Some babies are gainers and some aren't... She will have different needs and growth patterns than your first... You can't compare them.

I would just nurse your oldest when she asks... She NEEDS that closeness to you. Some older nurslings start nursing more when the milk comes in and when their new sibling arrives. It allows them to bond with mom and their new sibling. I've heard alot of moms say their toddler will nurse more than their newborn... She's trying to re-estabslish her security with you and at her age, the only way she knows how is with nursing.

Just my opinion... I hope you find something that works!

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama

DD1 (almost 27 months) is having a very hard time adjusting to the baby. We all co-sleep and whenever I need to nurse baby or am cuddling with her, DD1 cries. DH is not able to comfort DD1. I am nursing DD1 3-4 times in 24 hours and wont be nursing her on demand until I feel like nursing baby is well established and I know DD2 is gaining well. DD1 says 'no milk baby Hannah' almost every time I nurse DD2. DD1 has also tried to pull baby out of my arms and out of the bounce seat several times, it seems out of anger.... When we are not paying attention to her. We are trying to make lots of special time and reading books when baby nurses, but it seems it is getting worse (we are 12 days out).
HELP.

Oh, Mama, I feel for you!!! This is exactly what I fear about our new baby (yet to arrive)!! DS is also 27 months, and has been limited to night and morning nursing sessions, with an occasional extra one here or there. We are also cosleeping (tried some other options but they were a no go), and he will not be comforted by DH, usually. I have been telling him that the baby will bring back nursie, and that the baby will nurse a lot. I'm just hoping for the best, but I fear the worst!

One thing I was thinking was to try to nurse in a wrap. If you do a search on youtube, you can find videos of how to wrap baby up in nursing position and it's not even obvious that baby is in there. Maybe that way it won't be so obvious, at least during the day? Does it mostly happen during the day or at night? How are the nights going? Does DD2 wake up DD1 and vice versa? Does DD1 want to nurse through the night? Were you ever refusing DD1 nursing before baby came?

[Chloe'sMama]

She night weaned at 22 months or so and I would tell her no milk till the sun came up. I have asked her to nurse the past few nights when I am engorged and DD2 wont nurse. I am going to try letting her nurse on demand and see how it goes.

Thanks mamas for the support.

[porcelina]

Also, check out this thread with some advice:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1258057

Good luck!

[porcelina]

How is the sibling issue going for everyone now??

My DS1 (almost 3) is now much more adjusted to baby, very sweet with him. BUT, he still gets jealous of my time. If baby starts crying and I go to him, he says "I don't want you to hold the baby." For night time sleeping, I have now moved baby out to another room, because they were waking each other up. After a week or two sleeping with him there, DS1 started waking frequently looking for me. So, I have moved back to cosleeping with DH and DS1, and poor DS2 is in another room! Not sure when I will be able to bring him back in...

Still tandem nursing, but have been talking for weeks about how DS1 will be stopping at 3. I'm ready.

What is everyone else doing?