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just wanted to share..

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I'm not sure if you guys remember me. I was a gestational surrogate for a couple in PA. When I got really bad HG I wasn't able to post and then w/ the constant adds & pop ups, it's too aggravating to be on MDC on the computer and I can't do it with my phone.
Anyway, I had twin boys at 38w5d by a forced induction on July 29th. I would love to say that all went well, but it didn't. I am working with an amazing psychotherapist that deals with birth trauma victims and victims of birth rape. Oddly the babies gave me zero warm fuzzies when I saw them. I wondered how it would be when the reality came, but I felt absolutely nothing for them. Still don't, although I'm sure the end of the relationship with the parents & the birth have a huge amount to do with that...along w/ the pp hemorrhage that led to 2 blood transfusions & 7 weeks later (today) I am still having issues with my uterus and I have to go back on the 24th to see what else is going on (my 2nd visit dealing with this). From what I've seen on Facebook, the babies are doing fine.
Anyway, stats were... Turtle was born at 9:27pm weighing 7lbs 3oz & Frog was born at 9:39pm weighing 8lbs 4oz. I was able to fight (and I mean that literally) the epidural, so I at least did it vaginally & unmedicated...and I only grunted 2 times with Turtle & once with Frog to pop them out.
I want to wish everyone a huge congratulations on the births of your babies.
post #2 of 5
Nice work growing some big boys! That's no small thing you did! Way to go!!
post #3 of 5
You did a wonderful thing mama! I'm sorry it hasn't been easy
post #4 of 5
I'm so sorry the experience had to end that way! That would be so challenging. I know there are some other wonderful mamas on here that are also surrogates that I'm sure would be happy to talk to you if you needed someone who had btdt.
post #5 of 5

What you did for the boys and yourself is nothing short of amazing. Having been through birthrape myself I know how hard healing is and how easy it is to shortchange yourself. Embrace the incredible amount of strength and determination you showed in having an unmedicated vaginal twin induction in a hospital and keep talking about what went wrong.

Physical recovery after phsychological trauma is slow, be gentle on yourself. And I'm glad to hear you have a professional with experience you can turn to, I hope it helps.

Wishing you a peaceful recovery, and congratulations again!
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