Nursing young toddler at daycare - gonna be the lone ranger

[leam811]

Hi Mamas,

Just a little support, or BTDT welcome.

I WOH full time. DD is 13 mos and will be transitioning from the Infant room to the Toddler class at daycare within a month (oh my tiny baby!).

We are fortunate in that I can walk to her daycare from work, so have been nursing at lunchtime ever since she started in March. I plan to keep right on going with this, as the staff seems amenable. But it appears we will be the only nursing pair in toddler-land.

I suppose this shouldn't strike me as odd, since many of the older infants, even, are weaned from the breast already. But it really hit home to me today when I was talking with the ladies in the infant room about it. One other mama comes in to nurse her babe midday, and I heard through the grapevine she plans to keep nursing till two.

I guess I'm just posting to commiserate a little. 12 months came and went and we're still nursing strong - she was late to start solids, and still consumes more breastmilk than anything else. But on the phone with my mother we were talking about my SIL probably weaning her 11 mo soon because he's biting. And I said, yes, we've dealt with some biting but seem to have gotten past it. And my mother said, Well, anyway, it's time [for weaning]. And I fumblingly said, Oh, well I can certainly see us going till two or so... and trailed off.

I'm suddenly realizing - it's really hitting home - just what a minority of us continue to breastfeed past one year (or even 6 months, for that matter). But it hasn't even occurred to me to stop!

[Sfcmama]

Lactating hugs to you, mama! I can only imagine what its like. My 7mo is still ebf and I'm already starting to notice fewer and fewer moms around us (like in music class) nursing their babes... I wasn't prepared to be the lone lactator until dd was at least 1!

[Tjej]

As they get older they don't NEED to nurse as often as they do when babies. I'm just saying that you may be the only one nursing at the daycare, but it doesn't actually mean you are FOR SURE the only one nursing.

That said, I have nursed my kids a couple of years so far and around me there are very few who nurse much past a year (even younger, actually, but cut-off at one year is especially prevalent). It's really okay, you'll be fine. If anyone ever comments I just mention how nice it is to have a quiet time with a busy toddler, or how they are missing the easiest part of nursing!

Tjej

[LCBMAX]

This summer, I was nursing my 2.5 year old son at daycare when I was picking him up. One of the other moms doing pick up of her 4 year old did a double take, and then said "And how old is he?"
I heard her tone of voice to mean "Did I misunderstand and he's just a very advanced baby since he's still nursing?"
When I told her his age, she said "So cute."
And again, I heard her tone of voice as "I'll just say something polite now since I can't imagine why you're still nursing. Just look at your sagging chest and your pouching belly! Where's your pride, lady?!"

Mmmmm. Or maybe that was just how I heard it, and really she was saying "Aren't you a wonderful amazing woman to be taking care of your son whenever and however and whereever he needs it!"

Maybe.

[claras_mom]

When dd1 was around 2-1/2 she made a dive for my shirt at the coffee fellowship after church, leading to one of my all-time favorite moments. An older friend of mine said, "Still?" with a sort of raised-eyebrow inflection. <sigh/aargh> Then, just as I was mustering some sort of response, she smiled at me and said, "why not?"

I've actually had a fair number of moms of older kids tell me they did nurse longer, or wish they had. Or a good friend did. So I don't think one should assume the worst. so much easier to take things at face value.

[Katrinaquerida]

my 16 month old is still nursing and we nurse at daycare sometimes. She does have some other friends who are nursing too, but we dont all nurse at daycare... you may not be as alone as you feel!

[leam811]

Thank you for the kind words, mamas! I think you are all right - there may of course be other nursing toddlers there, just not necessarily nursing at daycare.

It's just interesting to feel like we've suddenly crossed a frontier, you know?

[MujerMamaMismo]

I still nurse my 21 month old at childcare. He is in a room with 6-24mth olds and is the only one still nursing. The carers think it's great - one of them confided in me that she had nursed her daughter until 3 (and usually felt some shame about it) and although a couple of the parents have done a double take, no one has said a word.

You know what's best for you and your DC. Good luck.

[EmmaJane]

I kept going in at lunchtime for the first few weeks after my daughter moved up to the toddler room -- which she did at about 13 months.

The reason I stopped wasn't anything to do with feeling strange about it -- the center has just been terrific. But DD started taking long naps in the middle of the day -- like they want her to! -- and I couldn't find a slot in my work schedule where I wouldn't be interrupting the nap. Sniffle.

She's been doing some hella reverse cycling (nursing all night) since then... I do pump still, and she does drink 4-6 oz. there, but I kinda wish I could get more (anything! she's practically on solid food strike too) into her during the day now.

[LadyCatherine185]

Nursing a toddler is definitely lonely territory... I see you are in Richmond, we're pretty close in Midlothian! And most people who I know IRL that even breastfed stopped well before a year....
Congrats to you for making it past a year and for continuing! We actually just weaned a couple weeks ago (a little past age 2), mostly due to my pregnancy and milk drying up.

[babygirlsmama]

Not much to add...just more hugs. My little one is 11 months and we are still going strong, and plan to continue. The good news is that there is a great community of support out there. I moved away from Richmond recently, and loved the LLL league there, and the community was great.

Don't forget that some of the raised eyebrows are curiosity, envy, and maybe even regret. I went to a breastfeeding support group meeting recently where one mom put it best -- when she nurses the oxytocin helps her mother at her best. I'm thinking I'll need it just as much when I've got a toddler.

[uzra_hashmi@rediff]

I visited this forum after quite a gap of time. It seems that the average upper age for nursing has perceptibly come down. Earlier mamas weren't so conecious nursing their children until 4 or 5 years. It is interesting as at societal plane awareness is being created for the benefits of extended nursing. I wonder whether this has to do with mothers' greater invovement in careers etc.
Uzra