Is my dd just not ready to go to restaurants?

[Greaseball]

Or have I gone about the whole thing all wrong?

Yesterday we took dd (27 months) to the beach. While she was running around a big wave knocked her over and it scared her, so we left to get lunch. We were feeling guilty about her getting scared so I think we were letting her get away with more than she usually would. We fed her a snack before we went, so she wouldn't have to wait while she was hungry.

As soon as we sat down, we gave her paper and crayons, but she wanted to open sugar packets instead. We figured it was OK since it was keeping her quiet (we've tried for a long time to get her to stop screaming in restaurants) but then it wasn't enough for her and she wanted to dump the packets in our water glasses. So we got new glasses for us and gave her one she could dump sugar into. But after a while that wasn't enough, and she wanted to dump her water into our glasses, and then onto the table. It felt like every time we got more relaxed about our usual rules, she wanted to take it a step further.

When we got our food she kept up with dumping the sugar water all around us and also taking some of our food and making a mess with it. Maybe that is normal behavior for some toddlers, but our dd doesn't do that kind of stuff at home. She knows if she makes a deliberate mess on the table or with food that isn't hers, she gets sent to her room. Maybe that is part of the problem; in public she knows she can't be made to leave the table.

The only thing I could think of to do was have her sit in the car each time she did something like that, and dh and I could take turns sitting with her. But at that time we just wanted her to be happy and not disturb the other diners. It really didn't seem like she was happy, though, she looked like she was getting more and more frustrated.

Any experience to share?

[mamaduck]

My first thought is that maybe it was just too much in one day. Eating a resteraunt might work out better if it is "the event" for the day, with preparation before and time to rest at home after. KWIM?

[BusyMommy]

I agree, maybe just too much for the day.
Yep, I prob. would've brought her to the car and taken turns walking her around outside. I'm just afraid to let any "behavior" go at a restaurant as they may learn to try it next time, too.

We like going to Mexican restaurants as the chips & salsa comes immediately. Great distraction!

Sorry for your day

[Piglet68]

I agree with mamaduck. Our DD is younger than yours, but the rare times we eat out are a big deal, lol. We make sure nothing else is going on with her at the time. I think we've taken her out twice in the last six months, lol.

[Dar]

There was a period of time from about 18 months to 2 1/2 when I just didn't take Rain to restaurants (except friendly coffeehouses with kid areas where shecould just play). It wasn't worth it.

Somewhere between 2 1/2 and three it started working again... she needed pretty constant interaction and pretty fast service, but it was doable.

Dar

[darkstar]

I know how you feel, we had a super long day last winter and went out for lunch and my aunt let dd make "soup" which was stiring water and ice with a fork. this seemed cute for about 2 minutes, and she tries it and would scream to make soup for months. also just so youknow, i am a wiatress, so this is from the standpoint of a mama & a waitress. ~ When you sit down at the table **move all of that stuff out of the way** the sugar, salt pepper whatever. even though it keeps the babes quite playing with that stuff, it drives your waitress crazy
. I think that you should just keep taking your dd out to eat. It is aceptable when a child is young to act out at a restaurant...But soon enough it will not be. Just show her acepptable behavior and stick to it, if she wants to keep doing things that are not aceptable to you, take her for a short walk, talk to her at home about going out to eat. We have done this.
Like the day that you are planning on going out to eat, Pretend going out. Talk about how you should act a restaurant, how to be polite, ordering...this is big, my DD loves to order and pay. So I let her* this is also a plus becuase it gives her something to look forward to. Good Luck in you dinning experiences.
sarah

[Red]

I live 100 miles from all of my family. They act as if this were a continent, so I do all of the visiting.

My father dies 2 weeks before I got pregnant with my twins. I spent months on bedrest. When I could finsally srive to see my mother again, it wa with 5 kids, 2 newborns, a 2 yo, 7yo and 11yo. And the oldest two were 'difficult'.

A 100 mile ride meant you had to stop to feed and change babies. It took an hour or more to get everyone into the car, and then halfway there, someone, maybe me, would have to pee. So we stopped at Friendly's most times. I could get served, nurse in the booth, the kids could eat for (back then ) $1.99 with an ice cream.

Often, we would have had a busy day at the ocean, seen lots of family and we'd be tired. But irl, in doesn't matter to the folks at the next table if you're tired or not. They want their meal in peace and quiet.

So, if it wasn't acceptable at home, it wasn't acceptable there. Food is not to be wasted, and sugar goes into drinks that some adults have. It's not a toy. If you behave very nicely, you may have french fries with your meal. They are yummy and you dip them in ketchup. Then you play a coloring game, or take er to the bathroom to use up time or walk around outside for a few minutes, taking turns with dh or together. Eat in family spots, where a bit of table banging won't be a big issue, don't expect the kid to be silent! Carry a special toy in your purse. it can be an empty mint tin even (My mother used to give us an empty matchbox, and tell us not to let the little man out. It worked!) or something a bit more interesting, and use it only when waiting. as the kids get older you can play word games and tic-tac-toe.

And dont feel guilty about life's little bumps! They are what make us strong and capable. It's hard to watch, but you don't want a kid who's never faced real life to become an adult! A wave knocks you down, you get up, dry off and try again! If you knocked her down, you could feel guilty.

Just MHO and it's been a long, long, long! weekend!