Ideas for bedtime??

[angela1435]

I have a 2 year old and 5 year old that share a room. No matter what I do, I can't get them to go to sleep. They will eventually, but it takes a lot of yelling and threatening which I am starting to hate myself for. Any ideas on how to deal with this without the yelling and the threatening?

[MoonMum]

What about just let them stay awake until they fall asleep try for a few days).

[mom2grrls]

What is the bedtime routine like right now? What time do they fall asleep and wake up? Do they nap?

[angela1435]

I think I would go crazy just letting them stay awake until they fell asleep. I love my time at night. It's the only time I get to relax and recharge.

Right now they fall asleep around 9 and wake up about 7. I have to put them to bed at 7 to get this. I tried for a while to put them to bed at 9 but they would stay awake until 11. The 2 year old still naps.

[colsxjack]

Maybe not put them to bed together at the same time?
Or have a rule that they can stay in and read or play on their bed quietly, but cannot come out or get loud?

I think I would try to stagger their bedtimes by half hour. Maybe going to bed together is too stimulating.

[LynnS6]

What if you stayed in the room with them and read a book on the floor while they stayed in their beds? That's what we did when our kids started to share a room at that age.

At first glance it sounds like yet another thing that would drag out the bedtime routine. In reality though, if you're spending 2 hours fighting with them, spending 1/2 hour reading a good book on the floor is quite a relief. The rule for us was: If you're in bed and mostly quiet, we stay. If you get too boisterous, we leave. The key for me was to have something else to do so that I was supremely boring. If I'm being boring and they're being quiet in bed, they go to sleep. And some nights, we had some really fun conversations.

When our younger child turned 5, then we began to transition to us not staying. They were older and had much more impulse control then. It also helped that they were both reading, so they started reading themselves to sleep. (We also separated their bedrooms by then.) We started by first cutting down on the time we stayed, then by checking on them in increasing intervals: first 5 min, then 10, then 15, etc. We set the timer on the microwave so they would know that we would come back.

[mom2grrls]

Right now they fall asleep around 9 and wake up about 7. I have to put them to bed at 7 to get this. I tried for a while to put them to bed at 9 but they would stay awake until 11. The 2 year old still naps. >>>>>

I would def. stagger bedtimes-the 2 y/o needs more sleep than the 5 y/o at this point and if the 5 y/o isn't napping he should be getting a bit more sleep at night. I'd start the 2 y/o at 7 and have the 5 y/o follow at 7:30(or times around there). You may need to do something like read on the floor to make sure everybody settles down but it's better than battling for 2 hrs.

[LaughingHyena]

We find stories on CD are helpful when DS(3) is wanting to get up and play. He will stay in bed and listen to a story and 9 times out of 10 he's asleep before it finishes.

DD(6) has got to the point where she wants to stay awake and listen to the whole story, which is OK if we make sure they are short and familar, otherwise she finds it too much stimulation.

[crowcaw]

When my twins went through a spell of not being able to fall asleep when in the same room I put the down in seperate rooms and transferred when sleeping. That lasted for several months.

[whoanellie]

What about trying no nap/ staggered bedtime for 2 yo?
My DD goes down at 9pm if she naps during the day but if we can make it through the day without napping, then she's out when she hits the pillow at 6:45 pm. It's a compromise for sure but the trade off is worth it most of the time.
Good luck!

[JenJMP]

Another vote for staggering bedtimes. Dh and I quickly learned that putting them to bed at the same time = disaster!
My almost 5yo dd goes to bed at 8ish and 2yo ds goes to bed at 8:30 or 9 (whenever dd is asleep). Dd has an hour of quiet time in the afternoon and ds takes about a 2hr afternoon nap. They both wake between 7 and 8.

[reezley]

Not a perfect solution, but here's what we do. Both boys go to bed at about 7:30. 3yo goes to sleep in his bed in the boys' shared room. 5yo goes to sleep in the master bedroom. When he's asleep I move him to his real bed in the boys' bedroom. Sometimes 3yo falls asleep really fast and I tell 5yo he can get in his bed to fall asleep. Most days I do ds2's bedtime book etc, while DH does ds1's. If dh isn't home, one of the kids reads downstairs while I do a quick bedtime with one, then I hope that he stays in bed and quiet while I do the other... usually it's no problem.

[amandasemele]

OK, i have 3 kids that share a room. 9,7,4. We had this problem when the youngest turned 4. He goes to bed first. 40 min later the two older ones go down. 99% of the time this works! If he has had a nap for any reason, he might not go to sleep that fast. Works great!! Good luck! The evenings are a blessing!

[at-home]

I feel your pain! I have 3.5 year old twins. We've tried everything. The best advice that I can give is: No Naps! That has been the key for us. It may not be for the case for you, but our girls just cannot settle down at night (until waaaay after midnight) if they've had a nap during the day. Find whatever comforts them the most (what does each of them want if they are feeling tired/sad/etc?) and offer that at bedtime and then lights off. No naps and a cup of milk & favorite blankie has (finally!) worked for us for the past year or two.

[Minxie]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

What if you stayed in the room with them and read a book on the floor while they stayed in their beds? That's what we did when our kids started to share a room at that age.

At first glance it sounds like yet another thing that would drag out the bedtime routine. In reality though, if you're spending 2 hours fighting with them, spending 1/2 hour reading a good book on the floor is quite a relief. The rule for us was: If you're in bed and mostly quiet, we stay. If you get too boisterous, we leave. The key for me was to have something else to do so that I was supremely boring. If I'm being boring and they're being quiet in bed, they go to sleep. And some nights, we had some really fun conversations.

I have one four-year-old so this might not be helpful to you but I recently discovered a way to keep him in bed and get him to settle down. I bought books that he adores and these are ONLY for bed or naptime (at preschool). In our case, they are first reader Superman books. If he gets out of bed, the books have to be put away.

We've only tried this for a week but it has made a HUGE difference! Not only is he staying in bed at nighttime but he is also taking his naps at school again which just makes life more pleasant for all parties.