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'My Mom Told Me' - and other bad advice

post #1 of 97
Thread Starter 
What bad advice have you gotten lately? Pregnancy/Birth/Parenting/Breastfeeding? Who was it from?


My stepmom (doesn't have any bio-children) - "Actually you want him to cry, it strengthens their lungs"
post #2 of 97
Haven't actually gotten any advice lately, I guess since this is #3 and I have two really healthy, awesome kids people aren't so moved to say stuff... but I remember a ton from when I was pregnant with my girls, and when they were babies.

My favorite, from my grandma: I got myself a glass of water at her house while I was pregnant, and she starts telling me that I shouldn't be drinking water, it has no nutrients! I should be drinking milk or juice... She was really adamant about it, even after I tried to explain how we all need water to survive and so on. Then, a few months go by and I have my daughter, and we are visiting her again. She starts telling me how I should really give my 1 month old a bottle of water sometimes, because you know, sometimes they aren't "really hungry, they just want something in their stomachs". I said, "But Grandma, water doesn't have any nutrients!" I don't think she ever made the connection, but I've always laughed about it.
post #3 of 97
LOL I love grandmas...
post #4 of 97
my mom told me I should drink some beer when I started nursing because it would help my milk come in. She actually bought it for me and gave it to me with a "here, drink it!" Totally silly, but the beer sure did help me relax!
post #5 of 97
I'm not pregnant now so I'm sort of forum-crashing but when I was pregnant. I told my friend we wouldn't circumcising if the baby turned out to be a boy and she said "Well, maybe you should because he might do it himself." (as in circumcise himself) . Ironically this comment actually made me more anti-circ because I couldn't imagine a person who would willingly cut off a piece of their genitalia.
post #6 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsymama2008 View Post
I'm not pregnant now so I'm sort of forum-crashing but when I was pregnant. I told my friend we wouldn't circumcising if the baby turned out to be a boy and she said "Well, maybe you should because he might do it himself." (as in circumcise himself) . Ironically this comment actually made me more anti-circ because I couldn't imagine a person who would willingly cut off a piece of their genitalia.
Well I guess if your kid is gonna do it himself (with no anesthesia!) at least it will be his choice to go through that kind of pain... unlike if he had it done to him as a newborn
post #7 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsymama2008 View Post
I'm not pregnant now so I'm sort of forum-crashing but when I was pregnant. I told my friend we wouldn't circumcising if the baby turned out to be a boy and she said "Well, maybe you should because he might do it himself." (as in circumcise himself) . Ironically this comment actually made me more anti-circ because I couldn't imagine a person who would willingly cut off a piece of their genitalia.
Wow! Some people... I just don't know where they come up with these things. I'm with you, though. Who elects to cut of part of their genitalia? I sure hope DS never decides to do that.
post #8 of 97
My mil apparently told my sil that episiotomies are absolutely necessary. That had my sil so freaked out that she recently told me she'd be having elective c-sections if she has kids.

They both breed dogs. I asked her if she ever had to cut a bitch to get the pups out, and her entire perspective turned around. If dogs can (usually) manage without intervention, so can we. She's now so open to natural birth that we've actually talked about home births (and *I've* never even had one of those!)

So, yeah, bad "advice" can lead to pretty severe reactions!
post #9 of 97
I had a friend tell me to lie to the labor and delievery about my due date if I started to have contractions so they would induce me and I could "get out of the last two weeks and avoid more stretch marks".
I had another lady tell me that if I didn't supplement or give the baby a bottle of expressed milk my husband would never bond with the baby and he would end up hating his own children. Umm, my husband has given both girls a bottle (one in the NICU, the other I had to return to work- she wouldn't even take the bottle) and hated it, said he felt awful about it and thought it was taking away their favorite source of comfort. This one he said he doesn't even want bottles in the house because he doesn't want to do that again.
I was told I had to get rid of the kitten I had when I was pregnant with DD1 because cats kill babies deliberately.
A Marine (I was active duty at the time) told me that her mother said if you used gel or hair spray during pregnancy it would make your child have birth defects so she cut her hair to save her baby.
My grandma (I love her, shes just wacky at times) told me that I had to go back to work after having kids or my kids would grow up to be lazy.
Just recently I was told to put hot sauce or soap in my 21 month old's mouth because she tantrums a lot. "Oh it cut my kids tantrums down to maybe one in less than a week"
post #10 of 97
I got the cats kill babies line too. Oddly Ive had 3 different cats through 2 different babies (and about to be 5 different cats through 3 different babies) yet not a single one has a problem with the baby.

My gramma told me an enema will make me have the baby.

My mother told me castor oil will cause my baby to flip breech. (That is more ridiculous than it causing meconium staining, which is also not true.)

I have had people tell me not to consider going without an epidural I will regret it. Oh really? Ive had two pain-relief-free deliveries already.
post #11 of 97
This is really making me giggle...thanks ladies i needed this!!
post #12 of 97
hmmm...not my mom told me, but my boss (and a co-worker agreed) that woman only have natural childbirth so they can brag to other women.

My mom did say if I didn't stop nursing my 6 month old baby soon, she would be hanging off my boob until she was 2. Well she was 3 - so she was wrong about that
post #13 of 97
My grandmother told me today I had to wean my son right away because my baby wouldn't grow and would dry up inside me...

She means well.

Funnest thing Dh was told. "Babies need to learn to drink from a bottle for motor skills." From a friend with no kids.
post #14 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by lillymonster View Post
hmmm...not my mom told me, but my boss (and a co-worker agreed) that woman only have natural childbirth so they can brag to other women.

My mom did say if I didn't stop nursing my 6 month old baby soon, she would be hanging off my boob until she was 2. Well she was 3 - so she was wrong about that
LOL!!!!!! that's the best!

thankfully, nobody's given me dumb advice about my first baby.. and my family even decided to ignore the fact that i bfed until 4 (i think they started to think it was wacky when she turned 3, but didn't say a word).

this is my DH's first baby though, so i'm sure some of the weird advice may still come.
post #15 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana731 View Post
my mom told me I should drink some beer when I started nursing because it would help my milk come in. She actually bought it for me and gave it to me with a "here, drink it!" Totally silly, but the beer sure did help me relax!

Hey, there is some science behind that! A nice stout beer (like a Guinness) will help your milk come in. My midwife also (unprompted by me) recommended this at my last visit.

I made the mistake of sharing this bit of info with DH, and now he's excited because I agreed that we could have a celebratory case on hand at our home birth.
post #16 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by macandcheese View Post
Hey, there is some science behind that! A nice stout beer (like a Guinness) will help your milk come in. My midwife also (unprompted by me) recommended this at my last visit.

I made the mistake of sharing this bit of info with DH, and now he's excited because I agreed that we could have a celebratory case on hand at our home birth.
yep this is totally true!!
post #17 of 97
Recently my family tells me it's dangerous to carry DS or even to lift him out of the bathtub... oh well!
My mom also thinks that I deprive my son of social skills by not being in daycare and being a SAHM, and only teachers can educate children, not parents (she is a teacher and thinks anyways children should be in daycare as young as possible).
My sister (very anti alcohol MD) told me if I drink an occasional glass of wine during lactation I condition my child to be an alcoholic.... sure...
My step-fil told me to get rid of cats a I will get toxo and baby will be disabled.
And recently my MD sister shook her head when she saw how little DS eats (he weighs 33 pounds and is healthy so what!) and so she said: to avoid such poor eating habits with your second child you absolutely have to start solids at 4 month. Yeah, not going to happen!
post #18 of 97
hmm how about my older sister-when pregnant with my son, she sent me a box full of maternity clothes.
She informed me that "the band on maternity pants is meant to be worn underneath your shirt".
Thank goodness I had her to tell me that-I was looking forward to tucking for sure!!
post #19 of 97
Wow... My family has been incredibly well-behaved in comparison. These are making me
post #20 of 97
OH goodness I also got the 'If you dont put her in school soon she will never learn to get along with other kids' bit about DD... from age 2 on. Thanks... but she happens to get along with her brother, cousin and friends of mine children quite well... and now that she IS in school she is actually better behaved than her brother ever was in Kindergarten!

My grandma was hellbent on getting me to wean DD by 8 months 'because your mother had breast cancer and you don't want to go giving that to yourself...' uh gramma... my mother had breast cancer after NOT breastfeeding five children.

Im trying to think of more... I can tell you I have had more than enough roll-my-eyes ones.

Oh, step sister had to post about how 'If you cosleep you will kill your child' uh, really? Cuz I coslept twice already and my two older ones are fine. Pretty sure if you do it with a bit of intelligence you wont have a problem.

I love the fact that MIL, whenever DH tells her things (like we are home birthing, I am breastfeeding, we want to cloth diaper, we are cosleeping) says 'Oh good! That baby will be raised well!' (And not sarcastically, she has a lot of the same values I do... her boys were breastfed and cloth diapered too)

My mother, though, when I told her about our homebirth... was a little wary. But then, she knows the same doctor that talked me into doing it in the first place... knows that doctor herself has had a couple homebirths... so she is okay with it but ONLY because I did tell the doctor my plans and that I have a CNM and a CPM who will both be present so now she is much more comfortable. But... in her case its just her worrying because this is the first baby being born without her there (I wish she could be, Im 1100 miles away now though) so she is going to worry about everything. Never once told me the babys life is at stake though, thank goodness.
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