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Sending babies/toddlers to preschool: a new trend? - Page 2

post #21 of 124
IMO, it reallly depends on the individual child and the school they attend. Dd started preschool at 3. She loved it so much we started ds right before his second birthday at a playbased preschool - no lessons. He loves it! He does fun activities, has caring, wonderful teachers, and gets to go to school like his big sis! He had no separation issues - but I did see a few kids crying the first week. For us, it works. If he had shown any signs of not being ready, we would have waited.
post #22 of 124
My 4-year-old isn't even in pre-school yet :-/ I am still undecided about whether I am going to homeschool or send her to school next year - and, apparently, I'm holding it off until the last minute. That being said, I want to enjoy my kids as long as possible. If she's going to start school, I want to keep her home with me until she's 5. Maybe I'm crazy though
post #23 of 124
I'll admit I got caught up in this and started looking at "preschools" when DD was around 18 mo. I thought I had to send her, that it was what was done. When I went to tour a school, I was filled with this overwhelming feeling of, "Why do I need to send her here? I'm home with her. I do art projects with her. I read with her. We watch movies together. We dance. We sing. We go for walks. We play outside."

I left scratching my head.

The 3-4 year old room was neat. They had computers and structure. It felt and looked more what I used to think of when I thought of preschool. We are definitely waiting until at least that age to send DD.
post #24 of 124
Here Preschool starts 2 yrs prior to Kindergarten and the child must be out of diapers ( no pullups) before that it is designated as daycare.

We do preschool 2 or 3 mornings a week at 3 and 5 mornings a week at 4. They have a moms day out program that starts at 12 months but because its only one day a week it doesnt have to be licensed by the state -- im not willing to do that.
post #25 of 124
Maybe I am completely out of touch but I have never heard of sending an 18month old to preschool and frankly the thought of leaving my 19month dd with anyone beside family that much makes me totally

I understand why some moms might want a break but why not just call it what it is, day care. I feel like they are trying to justify why it's so great for the kids when in reality its just for the mom. Because most sahm wouldn't put a child in day care, but preschool, oh that's different.
post #26 of 124
I take DD to preschool but here it's not until 3yo. It is not for me at all. 2 hours is not a break, it's too short to do much when you have to add in travel time--and I picked a school as close as I could to our house to reduce travel time. In fact, I don't go home, I pack my laptop and work at a local coffee shop, which is nice, but not why I send her to preschool.

I was just telling DH today that I hope DD really enjoys it b/c it's expensive, it's a hassle (our days start so early.) She's well-behaved/ able to entertain herself enough now that I can get stuff done at home so I don't need her to go. We send her b/c she does get bored, she's social and she wants to play and I like that the art mess is on their turf, not mine.

Now at 18 months, I would've totally sent her. THAT is the age where I could've used some help keeping her busy and would've loved the break as she was still up a lot at night and clingy during the day. And as clingy as she was, she has always loved being out and doing things so I doubt separation anxiety would've been an issue.

V
post #27 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by c'est moi View Post
maybe i'm just out of touch, but i consider kindergarten what you go to when you're 5. it's your first required exploration into "what is school?" preschool is the optional thing parents send their children to at 4, maybe even 3 years old. but really it's mostly just playing. anything before the age of 3 is just a care provider.

i guess i just assumed that any place that called themselves a "school" was just doing so for marketing appeal???

that's what I thought too. My coworker started sending her kid to full day preschool at 18 months. Isn't that just daycare?

However, apparently they do projects and have show and tell. from what it sounded like, his wife (sahm) was sort of pressured into the full day by the school. I was thinking... don't they get double the money for the time? How can they take the schools advice on something like that?


I do kind of agree with pp-- call it what it is. I know that this particular couple looks down on us for being a two working parent household.
post #28 of 124
Honestly, I can't call anything before age 3 "preschool." I have no problem with people sending their kids to programs before that age, but for myself and my own kids, I wouldn't be able to call it anything but daycare before age 3.

Kinda like how I just can't bring myself to call our duplex a "paired home" or "duet."
post #29 of 124
Quote:
Honestly, I can't call anything before age 3 "preschool." I have no problem with people sending their kids to programs before that age, but for myself and my own kids, I wouldn't be able to call it anything but daycare before age 3.
Quote:
Anything before the age of 3 is just a care provider.

i guess i just assumed that any place that called themselves a "school" was just doing so for marketing appeal???


Well, I do agree to some extent; however, I think the label "daycare" vs. "pre-school" is also sometimes based on the qualifications of the care providers. For example, dd went to "pre-school" starting at around 18 months. It was totally play-based and could legimitately be referred to as daycare. BUT the care providers were all trained in early childhood education, some with masters degrees and teaching credentials. They ALL held at least a BA and had completed a certain number of required education courses. For that--out of respect for the caretakers' training and qualifications as teachers--I believe it was referred to as a pre-school, rather than a daycare.

Just my two cents....
post #30 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsdewees View Post
My 4-year-old isn't even in pre-school yet :-/ I am still undecided about whether I am going to homeschool or send her to school next year - and, apparently, I'm holding it off until the last minute. That being said, I want to enjoy my kids as long as possible. If she's going to start school, I want to keep her home with me until she's 5. Maybe I'm crazy though
I totally agree with you. I didn't send DD to school until last year when she started kindergarden. She did great and had no issues with me leaving her. I stay home to take care of my kids for as long as possible before they have to start school. It seems strange to me to send a 18 month old to "school". They have the rest of their lives to be in a school/work type of setting.
post #31 of 124
"I understand why some moms might want a break but why not just call it what it is, day care."

Hey, I'll call it whatever you want. I just know that it's an awesome thing for our family.

The place where my DDs go is really insistent on calling itself a preschool and on staffing all the rooms with a lead teacher who has an ECE degree. Part of that, for sure, is the parent-appeal factor, but I also think that my toddler's teacher has some training and expertise that I lack, particularly in the area of teaching basic social skills. FOR SURE the 4K teacher does. It may be pretentious, but ultimately I think it serves my children to have the school regard itself as an institute of early education rather than as a holding pen. In the afternoon, after a lot of the kids have gone home, the environment becomes more relaxed and daycare-like, and I think that's a good thing too. A morning of learning is enough. Having a nap and playtime while waiting for your parents off get off work is really more humane than having six hours of structured classtime every day.
post #32 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smithie View Post
It may be pretentious, but ultimately I think it serves my children to have the school regard itself as an institute of early education rather than as a holding pen.
I'm sure those mom's who use day cares (and the majority of care providers), don't think the places they leave their children as holding pens.

I think pretentious is the right word.
post #33 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post
I'm sure those mom's who use day cares (and the majority of care providers), don't think the places they leave their children as holding pens.

I think pretentious is the right word.
I agree with (what I think) smithie (was saying.) SAHM are more likely to send their 18 month old to something called preschool. It just doesn't make any sense for a SAHM to send their child to anything called daycare and these places know that. They market it as enrichment for the SAHM child, and it is something that is in high demand.
post #34 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemenope View Post
I agree with (what I think) smithie (was saying.) SAHM are more likely to send their 18 month old to something called preschool. It just doesn't make any sense for a SAHM to send their child to anything called daycare and these places know that. They market it as enrichment for the SAHM child, and it is something that is in high demand.
i understand that that thinking. But many mom's are admitting they need the break. I just don't think that referring to daycares as holding pen's is necessary or accurate.

She's not just talking about marketing; I'm referring to the part of her post that says 'ultimately it serves my children...'.

I do think that the root of the 'preschool' discussion is the bold part of your post. Why doesn't it "make sense" for a sahm to do a daycare? Even when so many mom's are admitting that they need the break?
post #35 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsdewees View Post
My 4-year-old isn't even in pre-school yet :-/ I am still undecided about whether I am going to homeschool or send her to school next year - and, apparently, I'm holding it off until the last minute. That being said, I want to enjoy my kids as long as possible. If she's going to start school, I want to keep her home with me until she's 5. Maybe I'm crazy though
I kept my twins home with me till they started Kindergarten 3 weeks ago. They have had no issues with school, do well with peers, their teachers and the expectations of school. I also wanted to have every possible minute with them and am very glad we made that choice. I got some flak from people about the decision to forego school, but we do not regret it at all.
post #36 of 124
I got my first preschool comment last Sunday and was somewhat flabbergasted. A woman at church said to 2.5-year-old DD "You'll be three soon, and then I guess you'll be off to preschool!". I sort of stammered "Oh, we're not planning to do preschool" and she didn't make an issue of it... but I was surprised. I didn't think I'd have to field those kinds of comments until she was nearly 4 and due for kindy! Which we're also planning to skip, as we intend to homeschool, so I'm expecting comments... I just didn't expect them yet.

In my area I haven't noticed a trend to put super-young kids in preschool - aside from working-mum situations, anyway - but there's a definite hype around Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers, Mainly Music and other mum-and-baby activities. I did Mainly Music for a bit, but it wasn't really me. We see other mums and babies/toddlers (DD's more interested in the babies and/or any food going!) twice a week, but in quite informal settings, and I've gotten a lot of comments that I should join a playgroup or something.
post #37 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post
i understand that that thinking. But many mom's are admitting they need the break. I just don't think that referring to daycares as holding pen's is necessary or accurate.

She's not just talking about marketing; I'm referring to the part of her post that says 'ultimately it serves my children...'.

I do think that the root of the 'preschool' discussion is the bold part of your post. Why doesn't it "make sense" for a sahm to do a daycare? Even when so many mom's are admitting that they need the break?
After reading the whole post I can understand your qualm.

And, I actually think it is a bit pretentious for a SAHM to send a toddler to daycare so that he may benifit from what the daycare babies are "learning" in the morning, and that this attitude might even be a slap in the face to parents who have no choice but to put their kids in full-day care.

I understand the need for a break. (Believe me I do.) What I feel even more than that is this guilt about not getting the paints out every day, or my lack of nursery rhyme skills, or my not possibly preparing DD for school, etc.

SAHMs do need help. It does take a village. It 'seems' wrong to me when SAHMs send their babies off to daycare because society guilts them into thinking they are inadequate, and the village's only response to their needs is to herd their babies unnecessarily into institutionalized care earlier and earlier.

I do not judge any SAHM who has sent their young child to daycare/preschool. Honestly, my beef is with our society's attitude about fast-forwarding our children through early development.

And, for some context, we live in a very high COL area with a nationaly renowned school district. I see this all the time.
post #38 of 124
My opinion is that the benefit is for the parent. Which I think is a great opportunity if you need a break. I could have really used this this past year-no support network and new setting was really hard for me. I never had a break. Dd1 is in preschool full time this year (4 days) and dd2 is just starting to go part time to a nanny so I can learn some French, breathe and look for a job.

I personally find it harsh if these palces are really truley trying to have 1.5 yo's sit still and be like a school. Kids that young need to run and play and explore. THey don't need to learn to read. Although adding in a language is never a abd thing =).
post #39 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemenope View Post
After reading the whole post I can understand your qualm.

And, I actually think it is a bit pretentious for a SAHM to send a toddler to daycare so that he may benifit from what the daycare babies are "learning" in the morning, and that this attitude might even be a slap in the face to parents who have no choice but to put their kids in full-day care.


I understand the need for a break. (Believe me I do.) What I feel even more than that is this guilt about not getting the paints out every day, or my lack of nursery rhyme skills, or my not possibly preparing DD for school, etc.

SAHMs do need help. It does take a village. It 'seems' wrong to me when SAHMs send their babies off to daycare because society guilts them into thinking they are inadequate, and the village's only response to their needs is to herd their babies unnecessarily into institutionalized care earlier and earlier.

I do not judge any SAHM who has sent their young child to daycare/preschool. Honestly, my beef is with our society's attitude about fast-forwarding our children through early development.

And, for some context, we live in a very high COL area with a nationaly renowned school district. I see this all the time.
I think you and I are on the same page except for bolded-- I can't imagine anyone thinking it was pretentious for a SAHM to use a service that she paid for! Why, I only use part time care, and I don't think I'm pretentious (well, about this)!

I agree that it takes village! Sometimes that village means a daycare (or day school, preschool or, as one I looked into calls it, a education day care school), sometimes it means a trusted sitter, or grandma, or husband, or best friend or neighbor.

I just don't think that we need to tear down any of these options by referring to them as a 'holding pen for kid's of wohm's'. We mom's should be better than that.
post #40 of 124
I don't personally know anyone who sent their children to preschool before they were two.
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