Originally Posted by grniys
Eh, well, I really don't care if another mother thinks that me doing what's best for my children, my family and myself is a slap in the face. I would think the wohm needs to work a bit more on feeling better about her life than feeling slapped in the face by me living mine.
There's nothing wrong with working outside the home and putting your kids in daycare, preschool, whatever.
There's nothing wrong with staying home with your kids 24/7 forever.
There's nothing wrong with staying home with your kids but still sending them off to daycare/preschool or just to a sitters occasionally so you don't pull your hair out in frustration because you need a break.
Different strokes for different folks and all that. Personally, I don't think someone who does have the money to stay at home and send their kids to daycare or preschool should feel bad about spending their money on that.
I think that is really well said.
Originally Posted by Dandelionkid
THe SAHM has one of the hardest jobs in the world. I'm an RN and my part-time job is WAY easier than my role at home. I get regular scheduled breaks at work for one thing. Any SAHM who can afford a break is welcome to it, IMO.
(BTW, to the person who asked, I am a SAHM. I made that pretty clear in my posts in this thread. I hope you read them all and did not just have a knee jerk reaction to a provocative quote out of context.)
Also, I also think I may be a bit jaded by books I have read on the subject
. I recommend The Hurried Child
and Miseducation: Preschoolers at risk
by David Elkind, as well as Holding on to your kids
by Gordon Neufeld. I have also read Nurture shock
and Einstein never use flashcards
, but I can't remember if they covered this or not.
My understanding from my reading is that effects of early childcare on the socio-behavioral development of a child are negative to inconclusive. A study found that children who were in any form of institutional child care were more likely to be aggressive and defiant later in school. That the bump in reading and math skills disapears quickly. That early preschool is most benificial for low income families a la headstart and perhaps harmful in situation where the quality of childcare is lower than the overall parenting. In fact, the inhibition of social and emotional development as a result from early exposure to preschool is most strongly seen in children from the wealthier families.
What struck me most was the hypothesis that pushing kids into peer attachments too early could compromise their later development. It has been observed that children most resistant to being away from their parents and unable to attach to their teacher because of class size experience a great deal of stress. (in fact I read a study that showed children in a daycare setting have much higher cortisol levels by afternoon than children in the home.)
Moreover, children in these social settings swap out their parents as sole authority figures with their peers.
Being a SAHM is exhausting. We live tousands of miles away from nearest relatives. We don't know many people here. DH travels for weeks at a time. (He is gone right now.) I have felt enormous pressure to put DD in some kind of part-time care. Honestly, where I live it is the norm to have your 18 month old go to preschool. I am the abberration. I am on the defense.
With this background and knowledge, and what I see everyday in my community I am frustrated. I just don't like where this is going.
FWIW all the research I have done on preschools in the past have lauded montessori approach and methods. But, I want to emphasize, this discussion is about infant and toddler under 2. I have visited 2 montessori schools that offered a 2YO classroom and was not impressed. However these were not "official" AMI schools. The AMI schools in my area do not offer anything untill 2y8m or 3YO.