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20somethings? - Page 2

post #21 of 54
i'm 29 (for a few more months so i will hold onto that number as long as i can ) i got married 2 days after i turned 25, had ds a few weeks before i turned 26, had dd1 when i was 28 and will have dd2 when i'm 30.
post #22 of 54

  


Edited by nia82 - 1/30/14 at 7:41pm
post #23 of 54
I just turned 22 at the end of August. My first child was born a month before I turned 19, and I got married the month before that. This will be our second child. My husband is ten years older than me as are most of my friends. Nobody in my age group is (responsibly) raising a child and so I naturally latched onto the group of people who WERE, most of which are in their mid-30's or older. People are really boggled when I tell them I graduated from high school in 2006! They keep on trying to make it make sense in their heads, and then it finally dawns on them that it's not that I look young, I really AM young. I like to remind people that age has nothing to do with how good of a parent you are, that's in your character. You're always too young and then just as suddenly, you're too old.
post #24 of 54
I am 28; this is my 4th. I had my first at 22. I have been lucky to find a few like minded moms who also have 2+ kids and are my age.

But at work (I teach martial arts), the parents all have less kids, so I have gotten a lot of weird/insulting comments such as "did you want this one?"
post #25 of 54
I'm 32 and this is my 3rd. I had my first at 27 and my 2nd at 30. I probably don't even really qualify for this thread except for the fact that I'm the youngest parent in our group of friends. Our friends are all 5-10 years older than me and only have 1 kid. They are all rather shocked that we're having a 3rd. When I'm out without the kids and people find out I'm pregnant, they always assume it's my first too.
post #26 of 54
I'm 23, and this is baby #2. DH is 44. I was 22 when we had DS - I'll be 24 when New Baby arrives!

I do kind of wish I weren't the youngest in all of my friend groups - most of my friends are late 20's - early 30's. Sometimes they mention "how young" I am, and it makes me feel really self conscious, frankly. I worry that I don't look like a Mom but a nanny or similar. I'm also young looking. I've started wearing a gorgeous red lipstick when I go out because I think it gives me more of an air of authority than gloss and eyeliner. Seriously.

But it feels really cool to defy statistics by breastfeeding (officially until 2 years old today, happy birthday DS!), attachment parenting, and just generally making choices that are usually only seen in the "older" crowd. I'm guessing it's because they're choices that often go with higher education levels, hence typically older mamas, maybe?
post #27 of 54
I got married at 21 too, had my first at 24 and my second at 26. I'll still be 28 when number 3 arrives.
post #28 of 54
Thread Starter 
wow there are a lot of us 20somethings. I live in the San Francisco Bay. Someone mentioned Berkely moms in there 40s, not too far from me. I guess it's just my area. That's good news to me. I'm glad it's not like this everywhere. My sister is 39 and just had her first child. I guess lately I've been feeling out of place in the older crowd and my age crowd. At least I have MDC or I might be really lonely
post #29 of 54
Yeah, in Berkeley I was constantly being asked if I was my daughter's nanny or sister. Literally almost every day someone would stop me on the street to ask, and then tell me how I looked way too young to be a mom. It came across as incredibly condescending and rude. I would never consider going around and asking older moms if they were their children's grandmothers and then telling them they look way too old to be moms. I just don't get why people think that's acceptable.

I'm sorry it's lonely for you out there.
post #30 of 54
Thread Starter 
I accidently did that a few weeks ago. A lady at church was sitting with a boy, maybe ten years old. I had thought she had grown children but I must have been mixing her up with someone else. She walked over to say hi and I said oh is this your grandson? She looked confused and said no this is my son. What can you really say after that? I felt like such an idiot!
post #31 of 54
I'll be 25 when this one is born. My birthday is October 1, and new baby is due February 7.

My first I had when I was 23, but I've always been "old for my age" and all of my friends are in their late 30s/early 40s, so while I've felt young when my friends first found out my age, we have so much in common, that I don't feel out of place with the kids or anything.
post #32 of 54
DDCC with a funny story for the young mamas. I have a friend who got married at 18, and they had their first baby when she was 19. She loved to to say, "I'm a statistic!" I'm a pg teen! But, settled and married to a good man with a good job. Hehehe. Totally not the scenerio that phrase usually brings to mind. (BTW, they are still married, he's done well, and they now have 8 kids.)
post #33 of 54
I'm 29, and just got married last year, and this will be our first. In the area I live now people tend to be a bit younger when they have their babies. The tech when I was getting my blood taken remarked that that I "waited a long time", which made me feel really old!
Most of my closer friends (who live in another area) either don't have children yet, or are just starting now.
post #34 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by trekkingirl View Post
I accidently did that a few weeks ago. A lady at church was sitting with a boy, maybe ten years old. I had thought she had grown children but I must have been mixing her up with someone else. She walked over to say hi and I said oh is this your grandson? She looked confused and said no this is my son. What can you really say after that? I felt like such an idiot!
Don't feel bad. It's one thing to ask someone politely when you're involved in a conversation with them. It's very different to flag someone down just to satisfy your own curiosity and then say something like, "Oh my gosh! Is that your DAUGHTER?? I can't believe it. You just look sooooo young!" To me, the first wouldn't be offensive, but the second would. Like you said, it was an accident, not some kind of accusation.
post #35 of 54
I don't know, I get the "but you're just a baby yourself!" line a LOT and it doesn't phase me too much these days. I was a super young looking 19 when I was pregnant with my first and it unfortunately coincided with the release of that movie Juno. Now THAT sucked. I heard so much about how I reminded people of That Juno Girl and frankly I was offended.
I hadn't intended to watch the movie but out of sheer curiosity for what people were seeing in me, my husband and I watched it. And I'm sorry, but I do NOT chug Sunny D by the gallon, make up stupid words to call people, and generally act like a child with a fish growing in me. I was a working woman who responsibly took care of my life, granted I wasn't married at the time but I was engaged and had every intention of living with my partner until one of us dies. So to walk into the grocery store and have women smile wistfully at my belly and then scowl as soon as they got to my teen face really hurt. I wanted to wear a shirt that said, "Really, I'm not what you think I am!"
Now. As far as the comments about looking too young or being a baby, I try to keep things in stride. I tell people that when my kids are 20, I'll still be young enough to see the world. I tell people that no matter what, I'll always be my older husband's young wife. I tell people that in 10 years people will be jealous that I look so young. I try to remember all the good things people forget about my just being a baby. And I remember that in the end, it doesn't matter what people think of who I am. It's how I parent my kids that matters.
post #36 of 54
Thread Starter 
[QUOTE=nosce;15864347]I don't know, I get the "but you're just a baby yourself!" line a LOT and it doesn't phase me too much these days. I was a super young looking 19 when I was pregnant with my first and it unfortunately coincided with the release of that movie Juno. Now THAT sucked. I heard so much about how I reminded people of That Juno Girl and frankly I was offended.
I hadn't intended to watch the movie but out of sheer curiosity for what people were seeing in me, my husband and I watched it. And I'm sorry, but I do NOT chug Sunny D by the gallon, make up stupid words to call people, and generally act like a child with a fish growing in me. I was a working woman who responsibly took care of my life, granted I wasn't married at the time but I was engaged and had every intention of living with my partner until one of us dies. So to walk into the grocery store and have women smile wistfully at my belly and then scowl as soon as they got to my teen face really hurt. I wanted to wear a shirt that said, "Really, I'm not what you think I am!"
Now. As far as the comments about looking too young or being a baby, I try to keep things in stride. I tell people that when my kids are 20, I'll still be young enough to see the world. I tell people that no matter what, I'll always be my older husband's young wife. I tell people that in 10 years people will be jealous that I look so young. I try to remember all the good things people forget about my just being a baby. And I remember that in the end, it doesn't matter what people think of who I am. It's how I parent my kids that matters.[/QUOTE]

well said... BTW I hated the movie Juno it lacked so much!
post #37 of 54
Thread Starter 
I really enjoyed the TTC in our 20's thread back when I was trying to make this baby. It seems like there are a lot of 20somethings in this DDC. Does someone want to make a 20something chat thread? I would love to participate! If I had any idea how to be a thread keeper I would do it myself but there are still basic things on MDC that I have no idea how to do.

What do yall think
post #38 of 54
Hi there! I'm 21 (on the verge of 22 - end of October); and I'm 4.5 months pregnant with my first (and having a homebirth!). I guess you could say I kind of lucked out - there's plenty of young-er parents around our area. However, I'm the first of my very close friends to be pregnant so far (and married, and in college). I can definitely say I understand feeling a little lonely not having many young people who are also parents (well, in my social circle) - but at least we have MDC!
post #39 of 54
nosce- I think I need to post a picture of myself. Your story kind of amuses me. When I was pregnant with my first (married and 19) people kept actually STOPPING ME to ask if I was 15. And when I was in the NICU with her, my husband was sleeping in a chair a little away from the isolette and the nurse must not have noticed him but she gave me a HUGE speech about how important support from my parents would be. NONE of the hospital staff asked my marital status. And when someone came up after she was born to do some birth certificate stuff, they were actually prepared to help me work out paternity because I was "single." I was really offended. I didn't have my second baby there. And actually, still people comment to me about babysitting and such. This is my 3rd... you think it'd stop by now. And it's not that I'm so young anymore... Just that I still look like I'm 16.
post #40 of 54
Wow, sounds like my story to a t, Mrs. Music! I found I naturally started gravitating towards clothing that people in their late 30's wear, just so I wouldn't look so much like a kid. My daughter is two now and if we didn't look so much alike I think I'd still get asked if I were her nanny. Then again, I'm an adamant nurse-in-public mama so that raised quite a few eyebrows...
My husband and I actually didn't plan on getting married before we had our first child, but decided one weekend at 36 weeks to just go ahead and do it so that at least, with a ring on my finger, people would be a little bit more kind. The only people that came were both of our parents and my big old pregnant belly and we loved doing it that way. It's a hoot looking at the photos now though!
I don't know, I've always looked young, even before having kids. As a non pregnant 22 year old I'm 5'0 and 100 lb. I was still able to order off the kids' menu at Denny's until I was 15. So I really do try to take it in stride and remember that most people just lack tact and have no idea how offensive their words might be, or at least only realize that after they've gone and put their foot in their mouth. I think about how many times I've gone off about how I want to have my babies way before I ever hit 35 because it's so much harder after that... and then I realize that my captive audience is a group of now-horrified 33 year old women. OOPS.
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