My IL's are visiting for a few weeks. They live in another country so don't get to see the kids very often. When they first got here they were warm and playful with both DD and DS, but now all their energy and affection goes towards DS. It's painfully obvious. DD hasn't said anything to me but I'm sure she notices.
The only thing I'm aware of that might have instigated the change is that DD had a public meltdown in a restaurant. It was late, it was a slow-service adult restaurant, she was told to share her dessert and she didn't want to so she cried. I wasn't there, but they made a big point to tell me about it afterward in a 'DD was so awful in the restaurant' way. It may have nothing to do with it, but it was after that that I noticed the change.
DD is a friendly girl, most adults have zero difficulty connecting with her. She doesn't cry very often, and when she melts down, she's easily jollied out in a few minutes. I've tried modeling for them how to interact with her or facilitate games we can all play together. It's not usually hard, DD asks to read a story, adult says yes, but they're just not responding to or including her. FIL is OK, he spends more time with DS but does also play with DD a bit, but MIL is basically ignoring DD, in the past two days she only talked to her to criticize. Meanwhile, DS is the center of attention, held on their laps, played with non-stop. I want DS to have a good relationship with his grandparents, too, but it's really hard to watch him getting all the attention and DD getting the cold shoulder.
They may not be aware of what they're doing, and I'm sure they mean no harm, but I feel like the dynamic needs to change, especially with MIL. They're staying with us for a while longer, so DD is dealing with this all day long day after day.
Any tips on how to approach this?
The only thing I'm aware of that might have instigated the change is that DD had a public meltdown in a restaurant. It was late, it was a slow-service adult restaurant, she was told to share her dessert and she didn't want to so she cried. I wasn't there, but they made a big point to tell me about it afterward in a 'DD was so awful in the restaurant' way. It may have nothing to do with it, but it was after that that I noticed the change.
DD is a friendly girl, most adults have zero difficulty connecting with her. She doesn't cry very often, and when she melts down, she's easily jollied out in a few minutes. I've tried modeling for them how to interact with her or facilitate games we can all play together. It's not usually hard, DD asks to read a story, adult says yes, but they're just not responding to or including her. FIL is OK, he spends more time with DS but does also play with DD a bit, but MIL is basically ignoring DD, in the past two days she only talked to her to criticize. Meanwhile, DS is the center of attention, held on their laps, played with non-stop. I want DS to have a good relationship with his grandparents, too, but it's really hard to watch him getting all the attention and DD getting the cold shoulder.
They may not be aware of what they're doing, and I'm sure they mean no harm, but I feel like the dynamic needs to change, especially with MIL. They're staying with us for a while longer, so DD is dealing with this all day long day after day.
Any tips on how to approach this?
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