Insisted on getting a puppy...

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Last spring, DH was absolutely insistent on getting a puppy. After researching, he decided on a Shih Tsu. So, we got together the money and bought one. Ever since we brought him home (the dog), DH has been basically indicating that he regrets getting him. I feel bad both ways--keeping or trying to rehome the dog. Bad about keeping because if we (DH) really does not want him, is it fair for the dog to spend his life with a family that doesn't "really want" him? Bad about rehoming because this is the fourth dog we've gotten (the other three were years ago) that we were unable to keep. I'm so confused on the matter. I'm also scared that if I deploy, the dog will annoy DH to the point that he hurts the dog, and I won't be around to "protect" him (I'm not concerned about him harming the kids, though.) I hinted that I did not think getting a dog was the best idea, and that we really are cat people. But, he just had to have the dog .

[stardogs]

What exactly is it that the dog is doing that is making you rethink the decision?

If you rehome this dog, will DH have learned from his mistake? i.e. will this mean you guys won't get another dog? Getting dogs and giving them back/rehoming them over and over will not set a good example for the kids in your household (it makes animals look disposable) nor is it good for the dogs themselves.

If you keep the dog, would DH go to training classes with it? IME training classes can make a huge difference in bonding as well as making the dog's behavior more tolerable. I'm very concerned about your statement that if you deploy there is the possibility that DH would hurt the dog out of frustration.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Whining. Changing his mind every time we turn around: ie. he wants into his kennel (his food and water are in there; it stays closed to keep the baby out), so we let him in. A few seconds later, he wants back out, then back in. Whining when we eat--especially the baby. Asking us to open his crate, then deciding he doesn't want in.

It may be he had an idealized idea of what having the dog would be. I never wanted the dog, and voiced my objections by asking that we wait six months to a year before considering it, to use that time to convince him that getting a dog was a bad idea. I knew that I'd be the one on whom most of the puppy-care would fall--and it is true! I'm the one who takes him out at night. In the rain. I make sure he gets fed. I handle the grooming. I work with him on training.

On a positive note, he finally got housebroken.

[Heavenly]

Please go get a copy of Cesar Millan's Raising the Perfect Dog before you make any decisions. Every issue that you are dealing with can be handled easily using his methods.

[blessedwithboys]

If you believe that you husband is capable of harming the puppy, you must find it another (SAFE!) home ASAP.

[swd12422]

The rule of thumb when making any addition to your family should be that if everyone is not on board 100%, you don't do it. It's not fair to the animal to be unwanted by its family, especially when it's being cared for primarily by the person who didn't want it to begin with. Either find a way to love this dog, get it some training so everyone can be happy, and move on, or contact a breed-specific rescue that will do a home check and find a loving home for the dog.

[stardogs]

CM is the last person I'd reccommend for this dog - there's no good reason to encourage physical punishment in a household where excessive force could be an issue.

For those who may be interested:

The History and Misconceptions of Dominance Theory

[Carhootel]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

If you believe that you husband is capable of harming the puppy, you must find it another (SAFE!) home ASAP.

I think you need to rehome the dog. It deserves a family that treats it well and won't run the risk of being harmed

[rhiOrion]

I think if there is a chance that your DH would hurt the dog, it needs a new home.

But I also agree that sending the message that pets are disposable is not a good message for the kids.

The whining at the crate issue: isn't there any other way to keep the baby out of it? The crate is the dog's safe space, and I think he should be able to get in there when he wants. If you're giving him free access to food, then the access should be just that- free. Otherwise try feeding the dog two daily meals. And then all you have to deal with is the water dish, which is less bad for the baby to get into.

And as far as being cat people? Cats are going to do the SAME thing about getting to their food. In... out... in...out...in...out. They're known for that trait. I had my cat screaming at me this morning, not because he was out of food or couldn't get to it, but because it was the same food from last night and *gasp* he could see the bottom of the bowl!

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by stardogs

CM is the last person I'd reccommend for this dog - there's no good reason to encourage physical punishment in a household where excessive force could be an issue.

For those who may be interested:

The History and Misconceptions of Dominance Theory

Cesar Millan does NOT encourage any type of physical punishment! Have you even read his puppy book? I think not, if you are saying it contains any type of physical punishment. Please educate yourself before you cut up someone's methods.

[stardogs]

Heavenly, I'm replying on this thread so that others can understand what my issues with his work are, but if you'd like to discuss this further, please pm me - I don't want to clutter up the OPs thread any more than necessary since we're going a bit OT.

I have read some of the puppy book, but to be completely honest I couldn't stand reading it for more than the first few chapters due to the large amount of incorrect information on dog behavior and development. He has some good points, I'll give him that, but for me it is offset by the amount of misinformation he shares as if it is well researched fact.

I consider his pssst technique, hands on the neck, leash corrections, and similar physical punishment as they are all added to the situation to decrease the frequency of a behavior (thus fitting well into the behavioral definition of punishment). I also object strongly to his belief in dominance in dogs - see the above link for why.

[texmati]

rehome. but not get anymore pets.

[greenmagick]

Heavenly, I don't mean for this to feel like an attack but you are all over the pet forum lately and always saying the same thing, read millan.

Have you read any of his other books? Watched his show? Checked out the myriad of links I provided on a previous thread about the scientific and factual reasons so many are against him? He most definitely uses physical punishment! Maybe not on young puppies, but on older dogs. To me that is like someone saying so and so doesn't spank babies so they are ok, but the spank toddlers and young children.

Again, I have read many of his books. I used to think very similarily to him and then I opened my eyes and realized how wrong I was. I have not read the puppy book bit fromwhat I could find of it on google books, he is still going on and on about dominance and alphas.

[greenmulberry]

I would tell DH to suck it up and deal.

He wanted to dog, he has the dog, and he needs to make the dog work out!

He needs to get involved in the training and activities of the dog that it needs to be a functioning member of the household. He took on this responsibility.

Honestly, I would be very worried about a DH that is this irresponsible.

That was a little life he bought, that dog sees you all as his family, his pack. Now the the cuteness wears off he just wants to get rid of it instead of putting any work into it?

Rehome it if you really feel he may harm the dog, but please never get any more pets.

[amcal]

Sounds like it's time to grow up and take care of your responsibilities. You've rehomes 3 other dogs? Wow. At some point you just have to suck it up and deal with the choices you make. To me, dogs don't get rehomed just because you're rethinking your decision. You brought the dog into your house. You need to make it work. Take the dog to training. Put up a baby gate so your baby can't get in the dog's water/food. Open the crate, let the dog get in and out as it chooses. The crate is his house, his safe place. He needs to have access to it.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

It seems to be getting better. Last week, when I posted, was just a crazy week--the kids had started school, I had taken a week off to clean house (and of course, it is like I haven't done anything). But, we are getting into our new school-year routine.

As for baby gates, that won't work because if we use gates to keep the baby out, then the dog is kept out, too. We now just feed the dog before the baby gets up, when she's down for a nap, and after she goes to bed. And only latch the crate if there is a reason the dog needs to stay in there (ie--dropped and broke some glass or something or he's snatching noms out of the baby's hand). The cat has also started to venture downstairs, but she sits on one side of the babygate and waits for the dog to come by and bops him with her paw. I think in another couple months, she'll be back downstairs regularly. If I move her food down, it may happen sooner. She's perfectly capable of jumping the gates, so I could put her food and litter box in a room with a gate. Right now it is in an upstairs bathroom.

I did read how it is not uncommon to have "buyer's remorse" after getting a puppy: and that it was akin to post-partum depression or baby blues. The "what was I thinking?" and "what did I get myself into" when it hits you that you are going to have this creature for the next decade or two.

And excercise seems to have helped with the whining. We've had really bad (cold and rainy) weather recently, and so have not wanted to go out. The dog also detests that kind of weather. But, that's normal winter weather here, so he must get used to it. So, we've been taking turns putting our coats on and taking him out for a brisk walk/run around the block. And doing some clicker training. I'll buy or make him little booties and a jacket if that will help him. Any suggestions on material that is both warm and water-resistant?

[SophieAnn]

How about a pet gate like this, with a kitty door?
http://www.amazon.com/Carlson-0941PW...5258837&sr=1-2

Leave the kitty door open and it will keep your child out while allowing the puppy to come and go freely.

Polar fleece is a good material if you're going to make a jacket, or 100% wool if you want to knit something.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by amcal

Sounds like it's time to grow up and take care of your responsibilities. You've rehomes 3 other dogs? Wow. At some point you just have to suck it up and deal with the choices you make. To me, dogs don't get rehomed just because you're rethinking your decision. You brought the dog into your house. You need to make it work. Take the dog to training. Put up a baby gate so your baby can't get in the dog's water/food. Open the crate, let the dog get in and out as it chooses. The crate is his house, his safe place. He needs to have access to it.

I agree with this completely. I could see it happening once for some reason but this would be your 4th time?? Please, if you do get rid of the dog NEVER get another dog. Your family is obviously not in a position to handle caring for one.