my baby got too cold last night...will she be ok?

[taffywelsh]

Hi,
Last night I allowed my 9-day old baby to get too cold. I thought she was ok in a long-sleeve shirt and a cotton sleeper (it was supposedly around 70 degrees in the room, but I bet it was colder), but then after she cried all night I realized she had been too cold. I should have wrapped her in something else, but I just didn't think of it. What an idiot I am.
I feel so guilty. Have I hurt my baby? She seems fine now but I'm really concerned about what this spell of coldness may have done to her. She is late preterm and weighs less than 6 lbs.
Please help; am miserable.
TW

[Juvysen]

I'd call my pediatrician or whoever and ask. that's what they're paid for. Peds tend to be good at making people feel better on these kinds of issues, at least mine is.

My guess would be that as long as your baby is back up to temp and eating/wetting/pooping fine, then she'll almost definitely be ok, but I don't know much about preterm issues.

[sosurreal09]

i would assume that shes ok but im no Dr.

do you swaddle? that works wonders and keeps them warm. the miracle blanket is great.

[treeoflife3]

For what it is worth, I know someone who discovered that her newborn wasn't gaining weight correctly because she kept her too cold without realizing it. Her body was using all the calories from the breastmilk on keeping kiddo warm. This was over a month or two and her child is totally fine now that she is kept warmer.

I don't know everything but I'm betting all that happened was she used some extra calories through the night. I'm of the opinion that newborns are way more sturdy than people give them credit for.

[bri276]

Forgive yourself & call the ped. My DD still gets very cold at night, I feel awful too.

[YayJennie]

I remember doing the same thing when my son was a newborn. He couldn't have been more than a month old, and we co slept, but in the beginning of the night I would put him in the bassinet part of his pack and play, right next to our bed. When I woke up to nurse him and got him out of the pack and play, his little hand was FREEZING, and I could tell a draft had been coming in through the window near his pack and play. I felt so bad, but he was fine and I'm sure your babe is fine too. Call the ped if it will make you feel better, but if your babe is eating and pooping and in general OK today, I'm sure she's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it!

[LionessMom]

she cried all night? have you thought about co-sleeping? that is how i keep my baby warm.

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by LionessMom

she cried all night? have you thought about co-sleeping? that is how i keep my baby warm.

Thats what I was wondering... were you holding her when she was crying? If so, then she got body heat from you too...

[Sfcmama]

I recommend you talk to your baby's care provider about being cold.

As for the guilt, I know it's hard but try to release it. I'm quickly learning that us moms can too easily find reasons to beat ourselves up. If it's not one thing, it'll be another. No one expects you to be perfect, not even your babe!

If it makes you feel any better, we had the opposite problem of cooking our DD when she was a newborn. She's a naturally warm baby and it took us some time to figure out how to dress her (especially while cosleeping) without overheating her.

Be kind to yourself, mama!

[Abraisme]

I second the co-sleeping suggestions. Babies are designed to sleep next to an adult because they don't regulate temp very well. That being said, babies are really hardy and designed to get a little cold here and there. I highly doubt that you've hurt your baby.. Don't feel hard on yourself, EVERYONE does stuff like this sometimes. :s::

[taffywelsh]

Thank you for the kind responses. I bet baby is fine, she has been sleeping a lot today, then she ate a lot. The fact is, it's not like it's really freezing in here. I just felt so guilty that she was uncomfortable and squandering her calories like that.
She did cry for a long time, but NOT when I was holding her...that's partly how I figured out that she must have been cold. Poor baby.
As for co-sleeping, our actual bed is not appropriate, and I am getting a special side-car thing. The snafu is that my brother is building it and he has been on a multi-state bonfire party spree for weeks. I told him I needed it by September 30th, I guess the joke is on me here. Baby was born the 10th.
Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW

[Ambystoma]

Originally Posted by taffywelsh

Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW

This scared me too when DS was a newborn. I still feel like I know nothing about babies, so you aren't alone! I saw the periodic breathing thing in "the baby book" by dr. sears. I don't agree with him 100% on his parenting stuff, but that book has lots of useful health-type information that I still pull out and check (types of rashes, types of coughs, milestones, common health problems in children). So, if you tend to worry (like me!) I would recommend checking out that book.

[Violet2]

Glad she's fine. Just be sure to keep her extra warm today and lots of boobie time to help her recoup.

Definitely look into a swaddle blanket or a Halo sleep sack (LOVE those things!)

You'll never worry about your LO being cold again, believe me! I just wish they made them big enough for my giantess.

V

[prettypixels]

Originally Posted by taffywelsh

Thank you for the kind responses. I bet baby is fine, she has been sleeping a lot today, then she ate a lot. The fact is, it's not like it's really freezing in here. I just felt so guilty that she was uncomfortable and squandering her calories like that.
She did cry for a long time, but NOT when I was holding her...that's partly how I figured out that she must have been cold. Poor baby.
As for co-sleeping, our actual bed is not appropriate, and I am getting a special side-car thing. The snafu is that my brother is building it and he has been on a multi-state bonfire party spree for weeks. I told him I needed it by September 30th, I guess the joke is on me here. Baby was born the 10th.
Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW

You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?

[confustication]

Originally Posted by prettypixels

You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?

I am wondering about this as well.

How many times throughout the night did baby nurse? It really sounds like a less-than ideal situation- particularly for a preterm baby- is going on here.

Cosleeping would be ideal, but even if you can't do that right now, having the baby in the same room will allow you to notice problems like this sooner and respond to her needs more appropriately so things like this are less likely to happen.

We all make poor judgment calls along the way in our paths as parents. There is no point in dwelling on them, but it is imperative that we learn from them.

[jennybear]

I'm also a little confused.


OP: can you clarify a bit as to what "crying for a long time" means? Was baby in her crib crying? How long was she alone and crying?

You might try the Miracle Blanket or Swaddleme sleep sacks--both are good for keeping baby warm & snug. Newborns also love being swaddled, so they work great for that as well.

I didn't love co-sleeping and DD moved into her own room at four months, but for those first few months I think it's really important. Babies need to be responded to quickly and being close to mama helps them regulate breathing, temp, etc.

[wanderinggypsy]

I don't want to assume that you were knowingly allowing your 9 day old baby to cry for any longer than it took for you to walk quickly from your room to hers, so if that was a misread on my part, do forgive my assumption. I am not here to come down on a new mama. As a mom of four I've made more than my share of oopses over the years, and I believe that mama-wisdom is a thing to be shared.Anyways, in the case that you do believe in "self soothing", you should know that even the staunchest advocates for "cry it out" or "self soothing" do NOT advocate such strategies on a newborn. Responding IMMEDIATELY to your baby is the only approved approach in the first three months. Can you maybe borrow a small bassinet or something to go beside your bed until your co-sleeper is ready? My daughter was a 36 weeker and she had some apnea type breathing issues that always resolved when she could hear me breathing. They are just not biologically prepared for physical separation in the newborn phase and the consequences can be devastating.

[sosurreal09]

shes in her own room?!? that greatly increases SIDS risks.

i dont get why you bed isnt co-sleeping friendly? we just put the mattress on the floor. do you have a tempurpedic or something? cant youjust put her crib mattress on the floor next to the bed? shes not rolling yet.

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by confustication

I am wondering about this as well.

How many times throughout the night did baby nurse? It really sounds like a less-than ideal situation- particularly for a preterm baby- is going on here.

Cosleeping would be ideal, but even if you can't do that right now, having the baby in the same room will allow you to notice problems like this sooner and respond to her needs more appropriately so things like this are less likely to happen.

We all make poor judgment calls along the way in our paths as parents. There is no point in dwelling on them, but it is imperative that we learn from them.

A preterm baby shouldn't be going more than 3 hours between feedings in the middle of the night, and most definitely shouldn't be left alone to cry.

[taffywelsh]

Originally Posted by prettypixels

You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?

no no no no...I was holding her...I just put her down from time to time when she seemed to be asleep, she would cry after a minute or so, then I would pick her up again!
My goodness. Sorry I gave the wrong impression. She sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. I basically held her all night!
Please.
I never said she had her own room, I just said I wasn't co-sleeping yet. She is about two feet away from me when she is sleeping, just not right in my bed or in a co-sleeper (yet). There is a "baby room", and she has a little cot in there for day sleeping, but that's beside the point.
I also never said I just let her cry for hours without picking her up and comforting her. All I said was that she cried for a long time, which is true...off and on. When I needed a break, my partner came in to hold her. We weren't going to just shut her up in another room and let her "cry it out", although I think that some crying is natural even when she is changed, fed, warm, etc. I set an alarm clock so that I won't go more than 2.5 hours between night feedings, although the doctor said she can have one 4-hour stretch in the night.
Not sure why I have to explain all this, but it seems like I must.
Hopefully people will stop jumping to conclusions here and inflaming one another. It is not fair and it makes me uncomfortable about posting; I thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum. It's hard enough being a new mother without all of this presumptuous vitriol.
thanks.