Hello, I'm considering UP/UC

[Bendemolena]

I had a homebirth with a midwife with my first. I'm now 15 weeks pregnant with #2 and I'm considering UP/UC.
As of now, I don't have a midwife. I've met with three and spoken to my old midwife, and I just don't feel comfortable with any of them. One even said she "required" at least 2 vaginal exams during labor, non-negotiable.

I could keep trying other midwives, but I just have this extremely strong desire for privacy and solitude this time. I haven't even told family I'm pregnant yet because I want this time to be private with my husband and son, you know? We conceived this baby in nature, knowing we were going to. It was meant to be. I've felt completely at peace with the pregnancy so far - I KNOW in my heart that s/he's doing great and will be a healthy baby. I feel like inviting someone else into my bubble who will take the role of managing/advising/scolding will not help us and may hurt. If that makes sense.

One thing I've considered is hiring a midwife but "calling too late" once I've had the baby.

I have to admit I'm a little scared to UC because of the "what ifs", although the only "what if" I'm concerned about is the baby needing resuscitation. I had a third stage hemorrhage last time but I'm not worried about that happening again, and will have herbs and homeopathy on hand in case it does. I thought about finding and taking a NRP and CPR class. Also, we live 5-10 minutes from a hospital.

I also hope/plan to have a doula friend travel here to stay with me and help out, which makes me feel more comfortable than just relying on DH.

I don't know if I have any specific questions. Just wanted to say hello and throw out my thought process. I sometimes think my apathy and procrastination about finding a midwife will result in a UP/UC anyway! I'm really dragging my feet about it and I think I should probably honor that instinct and desire.

Any comments welcome!

[rajahkat]

Welcome!

I've never found a midwife I was comfortable with either. CPR training is never a bad idea, and if a neonatal resus course would help put your mind at ease then do it! Your local midwives should be able to let you know if one is coming up.

Here are NNR Guidelines

You can buy the NRP handbook and take the online test as well, prior to having the hands on practice in class.

Take care!
Kat

[mrsdewees]

I know this really great doula, in Georgia, who is NRP-certified and extremely hands off (if desired). She travels.

On a side note, I think you're the perfect candidate for a UC. You're obviously completely trusting of the birth process and your body. It sounds like midwife interference, at this point, would just irritate things. I can't choose a UC for you - but it sounds like you'd be more uncomfortable with a midwife than you would be without one

[Sijae]

If my mom hadn't been pushing me so hard to call a midwife, I probably would have done UP/UC with my first :-) I hired a midwife for my first 2 and then we had a UP/UC with my third. I say go for it if it's what's in your heart.

My best case scenario for UC is to have a midwife who is known to support UC and will be on call for you prenatally and for the birth. To me this is the best of both worlds because I often hear about intended UC's transferring to the hospital unnecessarily.

Unfortunately, midwives who truly support UC are few and far between. If I were an average pregnant woman at this point, and had no supportive midwives nearby, I would probably try to obtain the consulting services of a friendly midwife from further away for telephone support.