April 2010 Mamas, through October 2nd - Page 9

[Peace+Hope]

pepper, yeah, most vaxes have higher fail rates than i'd expect, a very scientific statement . it's surprising, especially since strongly pro-vax sources can sometimes make statements like, if everyone vaxed, the disease would disappear... wow, ada is a champ with the movement! i thought charlie would never sit on his own, and then over one week he went from the tripod-fall-on-my-face to full sitting with no support. now he's going forward a lot, but not catching himself yet.

i've been reading a lot about BLW, and i'm interested in pincer grasp development for charlie before solids too. do you find any activities are helpful for developing this? sears recommends blocks. charlie puts everything in his mouth of course, but still can't orient things very well. if he happens to pick it up so that it fits well, fine, otherwise he's at a loss. and he's definitely not doing anything close to looking like pincer grasp.

4+4, are you the one being told you can't BF in front of parishoners at work? can you tell i'm too lazy to search back through this thread? i don't know if you want to get advice on that, but (i think) the lactivist forum here is a good source for support and direction... i hope you are able to take a break to feed you LO as often as you need to!

i need advice: my sister and i got pregnant a few months apart, and while we were pregnant, we seemed to be making very similar choices. soon after her home birth, she went almost totally mainstream though, and now is defensive about a lot of things we're doing differently. she came to MDC to post about sleep issues, but was turned off by some overzealous posters, and hasn't been back.

so, i think her baby is high needs, and she struggles a lot. she's basically alone in any AP/NP methods she does use, is surrounded by people telling her to sleep train/CIO/discipline/not spoil, and i wish she could experience support like i've found here. i don't want to label her baby, but have asked her a couple of times if she's read the "high need" baby section of the book. she hasn't. should i be more direct, or keep hinting around, or drop it altogether? she's the youngest and has insecurities related to not being the best/smartest/as well read as me . but at the same time, we talk on the phone a couple of times a week and i know she's comfortable telling me about more of her struggles because i won't tell her ONLY X-Y-Z will work... i don't see high need baby as a negative label, but i don't know whether she would...

thoughts?

[Jenica]

Pepper: I have a Britax Boulevard and the recline adjuster is on the base in front. You probably already adjusted it there but I didn't realize that and when we put Leyla in it to go home from the hospital and she was bobbing around as we pulled out. We figured something was wrong so we pulled over and I found the adjuster and got her reclined better. Also we have one of those snuggler inserts and it helps keep her head straight.

Rhiorion: thanks for the tip about snapping the bottom buckle first, I fill silly that I've been doing it the other way. Duh.

Carseats: I like the Britax because: 1. the shoulder straps crank up and down so they can always be at the perfect height 2: The padding is awesome and L sleeps in it great 3. It's high enough that she can look out the window when she is awake. She very very rarely gets upset in the car and it's usually because she needs to nurse and we're still driving (it takes us an hour to get to civilization).

Solids: L is younger than most of yours so I haven't really been doing much solids. We have fruit as a snack at night and she likes gnawing on it. She's had nectarines, peaches, apples, plums, plouts and pears. The only one she actually ate any of though was the peach. We thought she was just sucking on it and were surprised when we pulled it away and a third of the wedge was gnawed off! I also let her taste a brussel sprout and and she went to town on it. I'm thinking that she is going to be a good eater because she's loved everything we've let her try (no yucky faces here) and she watches us eat like a hawk

So I feel like a total dead-beat-mama today. Leyla was fussing and wouldn't nap all day today and then around 4 she just started crying and wouldn't stop. I tried everything, nursing, diaper change, wearing her, and I gave her Camilia for teething. Well this went on for over an hour until I was ready to scream and cry too. Finally it occurred to me that maybe the Camilia didn't work so I gave her some Oragel. It was like turning a switch and poor thing has been basically asleep since 6. She was in so much pain she couldn't sleep and I thought she was just being difficult. I feel so guilty because in the back of my head I was thinking we spoiled her and now she just wants me to hold her all the time. Bad mama!

On a happier note, yesterday Leyla decided she didn't want to be on her mat on the other side of the living room. So she rolled all the way across it to me. She was too cute. She took a break halfway across, to watch the trees blow in the breeze out the front door and then continued on to me.

I got really sad yesterday hanging L's short sleeve onsies on the line to dry because it's cooling off now and it occurred to me that she would never wear them again. My baby will never be this little again! Wah!

[momto4plus4]

Johnny Jump-up: Just got a new one but JR has NO idea what to do in it. I think he's still a tad too small. DD1 LOVED hers though. I mean, she would bounce and bounce and spin and spin, crazy! The one we had with her was shaped like a plane. I liked that one best as it kept her safe. My other 2 would sometimes bang into the doorframe in the regular one. SO, be careful. I haven't been able to find one like the plane since.

Solids: He poo'd just a little today so I gave him a little pear juice (like a tsp) and some pears to see if it helps. He loves the avocado!

P&H: No, I'm not the one having trouble with bf'ing around the parishioners. But, thanks for the support!

Jenica: It's so hard when they pass through stages that will never be again. JR is my last and it's hard. I think the pg was hardest. Now he's here and making me smile every day and that makes it easier.

More than one: I turn into freak mom when they wake the sleeping baby! I wish I could be more calm but it's one of my big downfalls! On the upside: they entertain the heck out of JR! He's like a little toy that adores them!


Sehbub: how are you feeling?

JSH: Congrats on the extra sleep!! Here's to hoping both our little ones figure out how to suck their thumbs/fingers to sleep!!

Snoop: Thanks for the tip on the angelcare. I may need to invest in that. It would save me the stress of worrying about him, especially at night.

JR had a really good day. He still has crying times but was super smiley. He also took a nap in the carseat in the stroller at church while dd's were in dance class. He fell asleep later in the carseat in the car and stayed asleep for a nap when I transferred him (in the carseat) to the bedroom! FIRST TIME EVER for both!

[jenfl]

P+H -- Have you checked out your sister's DDC, see if it's supportive? Or, heck, invite her in here. We won't tell..... But, yeah, I hate to see posters jumping on obviously new or new-to-MDC moms. I wish more moms could have a supportive environment like we do.

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope;15877226.

mater, , hey there! thanks for the update. you have quite the physically advanced little boy over there! i can't imagine charlie pulling up on things, but i think he will do it soon. he prefers standing to any other position. how do you pick the books you read? i'd like to know what new stuff is coming out, but am not sure where to plug myself in.

I spend a lot of time on Amazon, and I browse in the library around books I already like. I strike out a lot, honestly, but I am so desperate for books these days I usually leave the library with at least 10 and then finish 5-7.

Originally Posted by Pepper44

Oh and on having two kids: Rosie wakes up Ada ALL the time. I've learned to just let it go. Very frustrating sometimes for sure, but if I get mad then everything will really fall apart. Must eat chocolate and wait for zen...!

This is such a struggle for me. I am probably at my meanest when DD wakes DS Her complete obliviousness is hard for me to deal with.

Originally Posted by Pepper44

Pertussis: I've read that the vaccine isn't 100% perfect, it doesn't always result in immunity. The states with high rates of whooping cough also have high vaccination rates!

Yeah, and I think sometimes parapertussis is diagnosed as pertussis (and therefore rates of the disease may be skewed anyway)...? IMO, and from what I have been reading recently, even by delaying this long you have significantly reduced risk of allergy or asthma caused by the vaccine (the stats for this are in the Holistic Baby Guide by Neustaedter, but I don't have that book with me right now-- sorry!)

P&H, that must be so hard with your sister. If my sister ever has babies, I think she will also end up parenting very differently than I do (and partially, sadly, *just* to be different than me). I don't know what to do about this. I struggle with it already with other life choices. My best friend-- the one who encouraged me to breastfeed when I was pregnant with my daughter!-- has become very mainstream (and farther over to the strict, CIO side of things). She asked if I fed DS a schedule, and I said no, and she said, "Oh, I guess you just can't stand to hear him cry, right?" as though that were an understandable but not admirable personal weakness. She believes in what she is doing just as wholeheartedly as I do... it's hard to talk about it with her, so we just don't talk about it.

[OneWithTwo]

in my house, I think they wake each other equally and I get upset. Obviously J doesn't understand, but still...his sister goes nonstop and talks nonstop so when she crashes, it's nice and then he wants to cry and cry and cry....oh well.

I got a mani/pedi yesterday and it was so nice...but the kids kept it from being excellent both were in horrible moods and both wanted to be held.
I find myself passing J off more than I ever did with C. He is so needy and cries so much that it's difficult and it's nice to pass him off to my mom or stepdad or anyone really.

[Peace+Hope]

thanks, jenfl and mater, i WISH my sister had joined a DDC here, she needs the support. i don't want to denegrate her in ANY way, but imo, she heard a few things about natural birth/ap parenting and got onto the bandwagon, but when things don't work well or she enters new territory, she just can't keep it up. it IS the path less travelled, and sadly her husband sees her alternative efforts as simply that, alternative. also, she takes her LO to a PA who imo is SORELY misinformed about lots of things, and she's in a very conservative community.

i feel badly that i talked up MDC so much to her and then she had a negative experience. and like you mater, i do miss the closeness we had that comes with shared experience. she surprised me by getting offended when i mentioned BLW a couple of weeks ago, because it's not what she does... i felt a door closing...

4+4, sorry, i guess i should go back and look to see who it was . i hope JR catches onto the jumpy thing soon .

leyla, i have been so close to buying orajel a bunch of times. i feel terrible thinking, well, he's not SCREAMING so he must not need pain relief... ugh. somehow the homeopathic stuff doesn't convince me... i liked reading your whole post, thanks for sharing how you're figuring things out!

[jsh7809]

I'm also glad to read about the moms who are new to the DDC or back after long absences. Jenica, how's your FIL doing? Still visiting?

Jen, I totally agree, LOVE how supportive this DDC has been, and relatively open minded. Sometimes the MDC rules just make me so hard because there's a difference between getting information on something (Ferber, etc) and advocating it, you know? I feel totally supported here and appreciate all of you so much!

We were lucky to get a TON of books as gifts, especially from a friend who works for Chronicle Books. I also am a bit of a reading addict, so I bought a bunch of board books and older baby books. Heck, I've been saving young adult books for her for like 15 years . But she seems to like anything we look at, so I've also "read" an issue of Wired magazine to her before...

Sleep is still very so so here, but that great night DH "gave" me by getting up with her is still keeping me going even on meh sleep last night. S seems to be having a harder and harder time getting to deep sleep at bedtime (things have been a little hectic here this week anyway), but then staying asleep a little longer, or waking up just to nurse... I think? Anyway, lots of thrashing around this morning trying to find her thumb, but I just cuddled her and she slept until 7:30! Now she's playing but sleepy so I'm hoping we'll get a nice long nap soon. Cannot WAIT until she finds that thumb in her sleep... so close... of course, I imagine that as soon as she does, she'll start teething and bite herself

[rhiOrion]

Pepper- You can just cut the noodle down. That's what I did.

Jenica- I felt pretty silly, too, when I realized how much easier it is to fasten the other way!

P&H- I have a friend who sounds sort of like your sister. She was ALL ABOUT natural birth, babywearing, delayed solids, breastfeeding etc. In the end she had a c-section and MAJOR supply issues (like, he wasn't anywhere near birth weight at a month, so I think it was a legit major issue). I guess once she had the c-section and moved to formula she just decided that not only was she not going to do these things anymore, but anyone who does is stupid. She does cloth diaper. But, honestly, it's really really hurt our friendship, and her friendship with our mutual good friend is pretty much gone. They had their babies two days apart and I think the fact that the other friend managed to have a vaginal (though she did end up with pit and an epi, so she totally understands that things don't always work like you like!) birth, is still breastfeeding, etc. Anyhow, she totally pulled away from our mutual friend, and to a certain extent from me. They live about an hour and a half away and come through this area frequently and she's never even expressed any interest in meeting L. Her idea of congratulating us when she was born was to tell us that her name was going to be confusing for her since she already knows two other people with kids with that name.

Sorry, that got off topic. That friend is just so stressful, though. Your sister is your sister, so you've got that going for you!

[jsh7809]

On that note:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikvcS3Oe-oA&

My SIL is due in a few weeks, and she already told me (when I offered her some bottles that I don't need) "I don't need them in a hurry, I don't plan to leave him for at least 6 months or so."

I know she didn't mean it as a dig towards me (since I've left S often, only with her father, grandmothers, or a trusted sitter, and always with breastmilk, but not just to work, also to sleep and to get a break for my sanity!), but I still felt the mompetition feelings of: "great, so I must be a sh*tty mom for leaving S at only 6 weeks to work" and "boy, she's too overprotective and the baby's not even born yet! let's wait and see how she feels after being attached to a nursing fussing newborn for a few weeks!".

Trying to work on judgment for myself...

[Peace+Hope]

Originally Posted by jsh7809

Trying to work on judgment for myself...

yes, me too. i really can't emphasize the lack of support my sister has for anything other than 100% mainstream. i just wish i could talk with her about things without 50 caveats...

rhi, sorry about your friend

[jsh7809]

hey, pumping/ bottlefeeding mamas, how do you wash/ sterilize your bottles and nipples? I have just been washing them super hot with a little natural soap but that "butter" never quite seems gone... any tips?

[Sorin]

Originally Posted by jsh7809

hey, pumping/ bottlefeeding mamas, how do you wash/ sterilize your bottles and nipples? I have just been washing them super hot with a little natural soap but that "butter" never quite seems gone... any tips?

I usually hand wash with some antibacterial soap and a bottle brush, but every once in a while, I stick them in the dishwasher. They come out like new!

Want to hear a "bad mommy" story? I was hand washing the funnel thing that goes over your breasts. After the first three months of using my pump, I began to notice a sour milk smell whenever I would use it. I could not, for the life of me, figure out where it was coming from. One day, as I was washing the breast part, something dawned on me to look at it closely. That's when I realized that it came apart so that you can wash inside of the little parts! *That's* where the smell was coming from! There was like 3 months of milk built up in there. I mean, soap and water *did* get in there, but it had never actually been scrubbed! My poor little one must have the immune system of a horse to not get sick off of that. I blame sleep deprivation.

On Thursday, we went to the doc for her 5/6 month visit. She's currently in the 40% percentile for weight and the 75% percentile for length! During our last visit, she was 50/50, so she dropped a bit in one category and really picked up in the other. I told the doc about what she can/can't do (can roll over/can't stand being on her belly for long), and he said that developmentally, she's right on track. So that made me feel better. He also said that I can give her anything I want to eat, but to stay away from honey and peanut butter. He's really laid back, so he said that if there is not strong family history of allergies (there isn't), then we should feel free to give her tastes off of our plate. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm excited to see what she likes and what she doesn't like!

[Carita]

lots of reply thoughts but can' remember who they belong to:

AP advice - I am really lucky. People know that I just speak my mind very frankly aand often, so they can roll their eyes if its too much. Carseats, BFing, feeding on demand, cosleeping. If its what's best for babies, I'll share with them. My FB page is a big AP parenting ad LOL. i am on a private board that was a spinoff of another board and I have to learn that they haven't lived with me for 30 years and so they don't have the tolerance for it that my friends and family do. It was a CD board, and some people come there because they are environmentally friendly APing CDers and some arrived there because they were just looking for ways to cut cost, unlike here, everyone is AP and that's what brings us together. I cn't stand to see posts like "CIO night #4" even if the mama is pretty crunchy, because it just absolutely kills me. I know why they are doing it, its just that it is not in my mommy instinct at all - i just remember so vividly crying so hard as a kid b/c i wanted my parents.

Johnny jump up - baby girl LOVES it. I let her DCP have her activity center since they are both jumpers and she has the jump up at home. I have to admit, she spends at least 1 hr/day in it - pretty much for 20 min each mealtime while i cook.

Breastfeeding in Chruch - I think a great opportunity to talk about harvest, nursishing life and breastfeeding in the Bible. Jesus was breastfed, don't you know? I lOVED that about my church where I used to live. I brought my son to a picnic and BFed him and the other women were nostalgic, not disgusted. When you BFed in public, you let other women know its okay too. Be a leader!

A friend of mine in FL stopped BFing b/c of supply issues and she was pumping at work in the bathroom and didn't like it. I told her all about the federal law, but she didn't want to make waves. well 2 weeks after she quit, she got a memo that they were putting a BFing room in the building. I felt so bad for her, but at the same time, I was glad someone finally spoke up. I am also lucky because I have had office mates that didn't mind me pumping in the office. (just one other girl)

[jenfl]

I'm anxious to for our 6 month appointment next Friday. I decided to weigh Sprout today for the first time in ages, and my bathroom scales gave me everything from 15.6 to 16.5 pounds -- which the WHO charts put between 15 and 40th percentiles. Sprout's been 50th every other time at the doc.

Normally, I wouldn't worry too much.... DH and I are little, and Nugget fell down the charts (but not until 12-18 months).... but with his breastfeeding problems and my feeling that my supply is low, I can't help but worry a bit.

Doesn't help that he's only nursed 3 times since 6am -- and 2 of those were just one side.

He's also decided not to sleep today. It took forever to get him down for morning nap, and then it ended up running so late I decided today had to be a 2 nap day. So he fell asleep for 10 minutes right on schedule in the car on the way home.... but woke up when moved into the crib and decided that was enough nap for the day, thank you very much.

DH is out walking him around the neighborhood in the Beco, but my expectations are low.

My patience is thin these last few days. Wish I could have a break. TAKE A BOTTLE, BOY!!!

[loveneverfails]

I always breastfeed in church. Today, during Mercy's baptism, she nursed most of Mass and we were right in the front row. It was awesome. My philosophy professor in college was a Cistercian priest, and he would talk to the La Leche League about how breastfeeding was a good from a spiritual perspective. I had a nursing infant in class with me the whole semester and it was wonderful.

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by Pepper44

Car seat: I dont think a pool noodle will fit in my back seat with DD1's seat too! But she fell asleep in there the other day and wasn't slumped at all, so maybe it's ok? I worry, lol.

You can cut it. It won't effect the stability of the noodle.

Originally Posted by momto4plus4

Sehbub[/I][/B]: how are you feeling

Much better, thanks for asking! Just really tender now...I'm one big bruise from my knees to my bust.

Originally Posted by rhiOrion

Pepper- You can just cut the noodle down. That's what I did.

Yep, exactly.

Originally Posted by jsh7809

hey, pumping/ bottlefeeding mamas, how do you wash/ sterilize your bottles and nipples? I have just been washing them super hot with a little natural soap but that "butter" never quite seems gone... any tips?

Dishwasher. I hand wash if I know I'm going to be using it soon, but otherwise I toss 'em in the dishwasher. I have a basket for the small pump parts and nipples and then just put the bottles in the top rack.

[rhiOrion]

I'm a bit worried about our 6mo appt, too. She was 14-3 according to our baby scare. That was yesterday or the day before, and she was 13-5 at her 4 month appt, the week after she turned 4 mo. But, DH and I were tiny kids and teenagers. I was 5-5 and 82 pounds when I was 13. Skinnnnny. And I have some other suspicions about her slow-down, related to reflux and zantac.

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by Sorin

I usually hand wash with some antibacterial soap and a bottle brush, but every once in a while, I stick them in the dishwasher. They come out like new!

Want to hear a "bad mommy" story? I was hand washing the funnel thing that goes over your breasts. After the first three months of using my pump, I began to notice a sour milk smell whenever I would use it. I could not, for the life of me, figure out where it was coming from. One day, as I was washing the breast part, something dawned on me to look at it closely. That's when I realized that it came apart so that you can wash inside of the little parts! *That's* where the smell was coming from! There was like 3 months of milk built up in there. I mean, soap and water *did* get in there, but it had never actually been scrubbed! My poor little one must have the immune system of a horse to not get sick off of that. I blame sleep deprivation.

Sorin... I had EXACTLY the same realization! Only, sadly, mine was only a week or so ago, eep! Luckily there wasn't too bad of a stink, it just looked a little gunky and I was like, "why can't I get that part fully clean?". Only then did I realize it came apart. Sigh, thank goodness breastmilk has all of that good antibacterial stuff in it naturally! Sheesh.

We're not religious ourselves but I was raised Presbyterian and my mom loves talking about nursing the babies in church. She has a particular story about sitting in the front row when a visiting priest was doing the sermon, and me nom nom nomming so happily and loudly that he finally stopped and made a comment about how great that was or something . She also loves telling a story about my brother poop-leaking all over his Christening gown - thank goodness for baby blankets!

LNF, hooray for Miss Mercy's baptism! I hope it was a beautiful, happy day, AND that your husband is home to give you some rest and recouperation.

Just want to make sure no one was offended by the silly video and my comments - you all know that I so appreciate that everyone can have varying degrees of AP and crunchiness here and not be reprimanded. I think it's great to have a place where we can be ourselves and not feel shunned, even if we would do things so differently from each other. I have total respect for everyone's different choices!

S tried banana this morning, so cute and funny. I took 10 bazillion pictures. I seriously feel more and more in love with this baby in a BIG BIG way every second. She's just my bestie and I am so grateful!

[jenfl]

LNF -- congrats on the baptism! I hope it was a wonderful day!

Amazing husband is amazing. He actually managed to get Sprout to sleep in the Beco AND transfer him to the crib.