April 2010 Mamas, through October 2nd - Page 4

[loveneverfails]

Just cancelled the stupid developmental ped appointment Merce got scheduled in for by the NICU. And heard more scary stuff about hospitals in our area. How the hell do you test for Lyme disease and not look at the results, letting a nursing mother have ACTIVE LYME DISEASE and be without treatment for 3 months?!!?

Note to self: do not get sick in Upstate NY.

[Carita]

Facebook - fogot to add - I don't have anyone added because I am kind of a freak about privacy w/my job and all. sorry - don't hold it against me! if this board were password protected, I would let you all in.

LNF - I have a MW friend in upstate NY working in a hospital. She was working in a hospital that employed a horrible OB and her practice actually is pursuing a case to fire her butt. I bet you guys would get along great LOL.

[ivymae]

I'm a mean mama when I am tired as well. Honestly, if I didn't drink 2 pots of coffee a day, i fall into the pit of depression. it's a unhealthy cycle, but until I have three kids who can sleep through the night, caffeine is what keeps me (quite literally) sane.

Sadly, my two olders actually wake up more than the baby. I think Alice woke up every hour for 18 months. No amount of sleep training (gentle or not) could rewire that part of her brain. Now, at 2.5, she still wakes up three times a night (and in turn wakes up the perfectly sleeping baby).

So, my advice is just to find a way to cope, because this is one of the first real struggles where you have to give up control. You can't force a child to sleep, just like you can not force them to eat, share or get good grades. you can create a supportive environment for the results you want, but when it comes down to it, it's about the kid, and you have to hang on.

AFM: Becky is a doll, and other than teething (she is getting one of her canines! My little vampire baby) she is happy to just tag along where ever we go. She's had bananas and apples so far, as well as the random cheerio on the floor. She scoots around the carpet if she is motivated, and has made it across the room to get the cat (thankfully very slowly).

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

rhi, i thought you had done the carrot frozen! lol, i don't think i'll do that again for awhile...

Nope. I did them refrigerated and I think I was the one who suggested frozen, but then I got lazy and have just been giving her teethers from the freezer

[rhiOrion]

Ugh. I'm feeling a bit down all the sudden. Not depressed, just momentarily sad. I am having a random moment of missing L desperately and wanting to go pick her up and just go spend the day with her.

I look forward to going to pick her up every day, but by the time I actually do it's hard to sit down and focus on her. Dinner has to be made and eaten, things have to be cleaned (and I've always set the bar VERY low on that), the dog has to be let out, bottles for the next day have to be made, lunch has to be made, shower has to be taken, medicines have to be taken. Then it's pretty much time for bed.

*sigh*

Maybe this weekend we'll go have a picnic at the park. It's hard to be stressed or busy during a picnic at the park.

[Carita]

rhi - slow cooker! LOL. i remember that feeling. then i farmed most of the chores out to DH until I could sneak away from her grasp for more than a couple min after she fell asleep.

[jsh7809]

Thanks for everyone's support. I hear what you all are saying about making the best of it, and getting used to the sleep deprivation. I really felt like I was around 3 months, when she was sleeping in 4 and 5 hour chunks for at least the first part of the night. But now it's 1 hour all the way through, and it's really taking a LOT out of me. My therapist and all of my other support people keep pointing out how when I get to a really intense sleep deprivation place, I start falling apart again. So, I'm leaning on DH a lot, trying to take as much off of my plate as I can until her sleep improves even a bit. But it's really hard and I feel so hopeless some days.
My "plan" for now is to try to make it to 6 months without 'doing' much (NCSS just doesn't seem to be working, since I can never get my finger out of her mouth without a lot of drama or a fast asleep baby). I do love cosleeping with her big snuggly size BUT we wake each other up all night long. I got up to pee and she was wide awake! And it doesn't seem to help her stay asleep any better than when I'm not there.
Anyway, back to the plan (I'm mostly thinking it out here so I don't go crazy on my own): we're working on getting her used to being unswaddled. Seeing if she'll learn to sleep on her tummy (so far, no go, even on my chest!). Giving her more quiet play time in her crib (which she likes for a few minutes here and there). Giving her more independent play time in general. Letting her cry occasionally without immediately stuffing my pinky in her mouth, in the hopes she can figure out other ways of calming down (I'll be patting or rocking her, just not giving her the pinky). Continuing to try to get her to nap as long as possible in any way possible.
Loving her all of the time and cuddling lots, realizing she'll be big and independent before I know it!

But, man, is it hard to do ANYTHING when I'm this tired. I'm getting worried for our safety (driving a car especially), not to mention our finances since I keep not working as much as I need to be.

[rhiOrion]

Do you think it would be helpful for your finances to find a mother's helper/nanny for a few hours a day? You could alternate between sleeping one day and working another. And if it's just a few hours, then she hopefully wouldn't need much in the way of napping or milk?

Originally Posted by jsh7809

Thanks for everyone's support. I hear what you all are saying about making the best of it, and getting used to the sleep deprivation. I really felt like I was around 3 months, when she was sleeping in 4 and 5 hour chunks for at least the first part of the night. But now it's 1 hour all the way through, and it's really taking a LOT out of me. My therapist and all of my other support people keep pointing out how when I get to a really intense sleep deprivation place, I start falling apart again. So, I'm leaning on DH a lot, trying to take as much off of my plate as I can until her sleep improves even a bit. But it's really hard and I feel so hopeless some days.
My "plan" for now is to try to make it to 6 months without 'doing' much (NCSS just doesn't seem to be working, since I can never get my finger out of her mouth without a lot of drama or a fast asleep baby). I do love cosleeping with her big snuggly size BUT we wake each other up all night long. I got up to pee and she was wide awake! And it doesn't seem to help her stay asleep any better than when I'm not there.
Anyway, back to the plan (I'm mostly thinking it out here so I don't go crazy on my own): we're working on getting her used to being unswaddled. Seeing if she'll learn to sleep on her tummy (so far, no go, even on my chest!). Giving her more quiet play time in her crib (which she likes for a few minutes here and there). Giving her more independent play time in general. Letting her cry occasionally without immediately stuffing my pinky in her mouth, in the hopes she can figure out other ways of calming down (I'll be patting or rocking her, just not giving her the pinky). Continuing to try to get her to nap as long as possible in any way possible.
Loving her all of the time and cuddling lots, realizing she'll be big and independent before I know it!

But, man, is it hard to do ANYTHING when I'm this tired. I'm getting worried for our safety (driving a car especially), not to mention our finances since I keep not working as much as I need to be.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Originally Posted by sehbub

I actually don't have any pictures!! Whoops! Yeah, C is really, really hairy. It leads to some gender confusion. We can dress him head to toe in blue with "I'm a boy" screen printed on his chest and people tell us how beautiful our girl is. : Apparently boys can't have hair?.

Nope 'cause everyone thinks R is a boy and she's got some hair going on It's because it's long. DS is constantly being called a girl much to his horror.

P+H: Yes we're thinking about moving to Toronto as well as Austin, TX, Chapel Hill area, Atlanta, and Chicago. And of course you can visit

As for vaxes, we're waiting until R is one.

[loveneverfails]

Would like to do violence to idiot hospital right now. I'm going to have to keep filling out these stupid questionnaires for developmental cr@p. This has been the worst experience of my life, and I'm really ready for it to be over now. I left a message asking if I could find out why we're still following her progress instead of only going with her pediatrician given that there was no prematurity and any neurological concerns went out the window early in the game.







I could do that for a long time. I'm angry.

[OneWithTwo]

Originally Posted by loveneverfails

Would like to do violence to idiot hospital right now. I'm going to have to keep filling out these stupid questionnaires for developmental cr@p. This has been the worst experience of my life, and I'm really ready for it to be over now. I left a message asking if I could find out why we're still following her progress instead of only going with her pediatrician given that there was no prematurity and any neurological concerns went out the window early in the game.







I could do that for a long time. I'm angry.

it's a little weird....
J being premature, has had one developmental screen and won't have another until after the age of 1. The ONLY reason we had the first one is because I initiated it. I haven't been pestered since leaving the NICU. If I have concerns, I bring it up to the ped and I initiated seeing a cranio sacral therapist who happens to also be a ot/pt and works with J on development. I don't fill out forms of any sort though, just the one time.

[jenfl]

LNF -- Do you HAVE to fill out the forms? What can they do if you don't?

momto4 -- Didn't you have an ENT appointment today? How did it go?

[jenfl]

OTOH, if you do them and it shows just how very fine she is, it's more ammunition against the doc who diagnosed the 'brain damage'.

[OneWithTwo]

well here, they like to call CPS....

but again, I initiated our screening..I don't think they would have forced us to have a screening

[loveneverfails]

I called and left a message asking why we were still following her development with them when they have no concerns about her development, she was not premature, her pediatrician is watching her development as well AND

I was never made aware of any diagnosis that would suggest long term neurological or developmental sequelae.

So, play ball . You'll have to pick whether she never had invisible brain damage or you'll have to explain why the you never told a mother that her daughter had brain cell death.



I'm not going rogue because I don't put it past Dr. A@$$hole to call CPS on us, but I am requiring an explanation for why the hell they have the right to be intruding into my life. I already filled out the 3 month freaking screening, even though we do well baby visits and the kid is FINE. Now we have to do another freaking screening questionnaire at 6 months. I am thisclose to wanting to make a photo collage of her developmental milestones and writing a detailed "day in the life of" journal for them to see how a day in her life goes.

[braidmama]

sehbub! you're charlie is so ridiculously adorable! eeek!

[momto4plus4]

ENT appt today. No tongue/lip tie. I trust her. Had kinda hoped this would give us a solution but Nope. Guess I need to just accept that I have a baby with some colic & strong will issues and not keep trying to fix him. She did suggest starting solids in the hopes that the bulking up (he has chronic diarrhea) will lessen the reflux/gi issues. He did okay on rice cereal when I tried it a few weeks ago (stopped to try to let his system grow more) but I'm going to try banana tonight.

He woke with a watery eye, runny nose & sneezing. Think he's got his first cold. He was up for 8 hrs today and only took a 15 min nap in the car! Crazy boy.

ENT did look at dd2 and said her throat/tonsils are back to being swollen even after 5 days of antibiotics (she was getting worse after being sick for 10 days) so if it doesn't clear (she had to have steroids to get the swelling down before) and/or gets sick with the swelling again within 6 wks then we'll do surgery to take out her tonsils and maybe adenoids.

Okay-So, I read the last 2 pages of posts (can't believe how fast posts rack up here-lol) and I'm sorry for those of you struggling with the sleep issues. It's SO hard. I can tell when I'm sleep deprived because it's so much harder to function. I think it's even harder when a. it's your first baby or b. they've given you a period of good sleep and then regress and if you've got the combo then it's a double-whammy. Just my opinion.

LNF: sorry for what you're having to go through. It must be so frustrating to say the least.

JSH: I think your plan sounds good. DS2 took 10 days of bad nights to get used to sleeping w/out the swaddle. And, I think you're making realistic steps in helping her learn to self-soothe. Being a mom is hard work.

RHI: I don't know how all of you workoutofthehouse moms do it. With a possible divorce looming, I know I will have to and I'm dreading even the thought. I agree, maybe find some good crockpot meals you can throw together in the morning so you don't have to take extra time after picking her up???

Ivy: caffeine is what's keeping me going as well even though I have some friends harping on me about it while bf'ing.

P&H: Thanks for adding me & JR to the list!

Everyone else: have already forgotten the posts I read on page 3. Hoping you're all doing well!

[jenfl]

momto4 -- Sorry the ENT didn't have an easy answer.

AFM -- Total fail on applesauce, as well! I plopped some on his tray, he looked at it suspiciously.... swooshed it around, tasted it pretty much accidentally.... got the most offended look and then burst into tears. Once again, took ages to calm him down.

So... yeah. We're going to drop any attempt at solids until at least next week. I was planning a dinner with sweet potatoes on the side, so we'll let him try those.

[momto4plus4]

Just gave JR mooshed up banana and he devoured it!!!

[rhiOrion]

And we just gave L some mushed up banana and she gave herself a hickie trying to suck it off her wrist! She splashed it all around the tray, ended up with it all over her face, down her shirt, and in her hair. The dog helped clean up. So she wasn't all that interested in actually eating it, but she thought the taste was awesome. Definitely little-to-no tongue thrust left, so that's good.

Pictures of the event will be up on flickr as soon as DH is done watching netflix so I can upload (streaming netflix and uploading pictures do not mix). Video up probably tomorrow!