Parenting toddlers that are difficult to understand

[physmom]

DD's speech has really took off lately. She's speaking in sentences, can repeat back most new words when she hears them, etc. HOWEVER, it's so hard to understand her! Especially when she's speaking in sentences. To add to the confusion she is trilingual so we're always trying to guess what language she is speaking. For example, for a long time I couldn't figure out why she kept saying "oh-two". She can count some already but it didn't sound like how she says "one two". Yesterday she said that to DH and he responded immediately to her and it turned out she was saying "outro" (means other) this whole time.

I've started getting in the habit of asking her to repeat new words that I introduce to her. For instance, if we're eating sweet potatoes for dinner I'll say. "Here's your sweet potatoes, can you say sweet potatoes?" Just so I can hear her pronunciation for the object and then remember it in the future. That helps some but there are just so many other phrases that I don't get. It's frustrating for everyone in the family.

I'm not worried about speech difficulties yet. She's only 20 months. BUT I want to help her because I know this leads to tantrums many times when she's not able to tell us clearly what she wants. We did signing for awhile (and she'll still sign for words that are too hard for her to say, like dinosaur) but her speaking is way beyond that now and it would take me a long time to learn enough to teach her to the point of where she's speaking now. Is there anything we can do to improve our communication? Any tips for dealing with difficult to understand toddlers?

[MamaPhD]

Wow trilingual toddler - that sounds like fun! My DD is 21 mo and she is "only" bilingual, lol. It really helps us that she is because most words she will say twice, once each in English & in our language. Some words sound similar in one or the other, but almost NEVER in both languages. So if I'm mistaken as to what she is saying, she will say it again in another language. I do the same. If I'm confused, I ask her in another language. Have you tried that?

Also she is much better at our language (sentences & pretty correct conjugations) than English (more list of words than full sentences), so depending on the complexity of what she is saying, I can guess which language and go from there.

Now that she can do sentences, I really try to say the whole sentence in one language, rather than swap words in and out from both languages. I'm not sure whether DD understands she is speaking 2 languages or not, but want her to know some words go to gether, yk?

SOrry I'm not sure if I'm helping. Just relating, I guess!

[physmom]

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

Wow trilingual toddler - that sounds like fun! My DD is 21 mo and she is "only" bilingual, lol.

It sure is interesting! Her third language is still relatively new to her and she basically just got it in daycare but I do try read to her every now and then in it and she'll pick some favorite words of hers in it and us those over DH's native language and English.

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

It really helps us that she is because most words she will say twice, once each in English & in our language. Some words sound similar in one or the other, but almost NEVER in both languages. So if I'm mistaken as to what she is saying, she will say it again in another language. I do the same. If I'm confused, I ask her in another language. Have you tried that?

She's only done that a handful of times. Normally she picks whatever word she likes the best in either languages and uses that all the time (even if she used to say each word separately). For instance, she says "agua" all the time even though she used to say water and sign water too. But maybe I'll try asking her more in the other language and see if that helps.

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

Also she is much better at our language (sentences & pretty correct conjugations) than English (more list of words than full sentences), so depending on the complexity of what she is saying, I can guess which language and go from there.

Now that she can do sentences, I really try to say the whole sentence in one language, rather than swap words in and out from both languages. I'm not sure whether DD understands she is speaking 2 languages or not, but want her to know some words go to gether, yk?

SOrry I'm not sure if I'm helping. Just relating, I guess!

DD is the opposite but in English (it's her "main" language). But she mixes the languages so much that we never know what language each individual word is in. She does hear us switch languages often so I guess that could be in part our fault. But we do try and stick at least to one language per sentence... Maybe I should work on that a bit, you know?

Thanks for your input!

[sapphire_chan]

don't know what the latest research says, but I know they used to say kids learned best hearing each language from primarily one person. E.g. Language a from mom, b from dad, c at daycare.

something to consider if you're getting language mixing

[physmom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

don't know what the latest research says, but I know they used to say kids learned best hearing each language from primarily one person. E.g. Language a from mom, b from dad, c at daycare.

something to consider if you're getting language mixing

Maybe I should explain a bit more... DH sticks to almost only to his language but we typically speak a mixture of English and his language with each other although he tries to speak mostly his language with me but with work related thing (we work together) that's pretty much 100% English because that's what's comfortable for both of us. I speak mostly English with DD but when DH has to travel for work, which happens often, unfortunately, I decrease the amount of English I speak with DD so she still has enough exposure. While I speak DH's language well, it's not to the point I feel comfortable speaking it 100% of the time at home.

Also, when we're visiting relatives (both our families own speak our respective languages) then she hears almost 100% of that language. So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that we do it depending on the situation, which I figure is also important for DD to learn.

[MamaPhD]

I've heard that each person should speak one language ONLY in the US. My guess is that in the US, there are not that many multilingual people, so it's easiest for them to imagine a family where perhaps one parent came from abroad or something. I know in Europe where each person speaks several languages, that is never the advice (friends tell me). In our household, both DH and I are fluent in both English & our language. So it doesn't work for us to deny ourselves what we speak for DD"s sake because that's what we are! Also I think it's good to learn languages (choice of words, intonation, enunciation, etc) from multiple people to really learn it well. I've read as early as 3-4 years of age, children learn to distinguish the context and separate our their languages out, so that's pretty amazing. I am looking forward to that.

On the side, we started off doing the sign language before DD could speak but I just couldn't keep up with it, so sadly we have put it on back burner at this point. Also next year DD will start Spanish in preschool, which will be her 3rd language, so I'm curious how that will go with neither me or DH speaking it!

[physmom]

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

I've heard that each person should speak one language ONLY in the US. My guess is that in the US, there are not that many multilingual people, so it's easiest for them to imagine a family where perhaps one parent came from abroad or something. I know in Europe where each person speaks several languages, that is never the advice (friends tell me). In our household, both DH and I are fluent in both English & our language. So it doesn't work for us to deny ourselves what we speak for DD"s sake because that's what we are! Also I think it's good to learn languages (choice of words, intonation, enunciation, etc) from multiple people to really learn it well. I've read as early as 3-4 years of age, children learn to distinguish the context and separate our their languages out, so that's pretty amazing. I am looking forward to that.

Yes, that's about the gist of it. It doesn't make sense for either of us to stick to one language when we both speak each others well enough. Besides depending on the situation it's sometimes easier to speak one language or another. Like I said before work stuff is in English but other household stuff tends to be more in DH's language. It just depends. Also, Nutureshock has a nice discussion about how important it is for kids to hear the same words from different people. It decreases the amount of time it takes for them to learn the words.

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

On the side, we started off doing the sign language before DD could speak but I just couldn't keep up with it, so sadly we have put it on back burner at this point. Also next year DD will start Spanish in preschool, which will be her 3rd language, so I'm curious how that will go with neither me or DH speaking it!

Sounds just like us! We did signing first until I maxed out on it. DD got her third language from daycare. It was an interesting transition. Pretty rough but she seemed to understand almost immediately although she doesn't speak it nearly as much as her other two languages. At the moment she's not in daycare but will be back again next month. However, she still uses some words from it and sometimes i think she's saying some more but because of her pronunciation it's sooo hard to tell!!!



Actually, though, that bring me back to my original question... does anybody have any tips on dealing with kids that have poor pronunciation??????? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the language discussion but I really would like to help DD out with this a bit...

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm just going to come out and say don't worry about it. She's got to get used to how the words feel coming out of her mouth. It might be frustrating for a few weeks/months, but as she gets better at speaking, you will understand her better.

For example, DD went for awhile calling our cat TAY. (The cat's name is Tayla). Ok, pretty clear. Then just recently she's started calling her "Teeee-ah" which is much closer to her real name but not quite right. I'm waiting for her to say TAY-LAH but it's not going to happen until Nora herself can get her tongue and lips to move in just the right way.

She also cannot say the -RA at the end of any word. She says "WE" instead of "RA". Her name is Nora and she says, "No-weee". She loves Dora the Explorer, but calls her "Do-wee". Nobody else knows these references, so at first if she was at grandmas and asks for Doweee, nobody but DH and I knew what she was asking for.

It comes with time. I try not to correct her much, but I do repeat the word back to her correctly.

Oh - for awhile, potty and bye sounded IDENTICAL. Made for a lot of pee on the floor! But now its pretty clear which one she is saying.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I'm just going to come out and say don't worry about it. She's got to get used to how the words feel coming out of her mouth. It might be frustrating for a few weeks/months, but as she gets better at speaking, you will understand her better.

For example, DD went for awhile calling our cat TAY. (The cat's name is Tayla). Ok, pretty clear. Then just recently she's started calling her "Teeee-ah" which is much closer to her real name but not quite right. I'm waiting for her to say TAY-LAH but it's not going to happen until Nora herself can get her tongue and lips to move in just the right way.

She also cannot say the -RA at the end of any word. She says "WE" instead of "RA". Her name is Nora and she says, "No-weee". She loves Dora the Explorer, but calls her "Do-wee". Nobody else knows these references, so at first if she was at grandmas and asks for Doweee, nobody but DH and I knew what she was asking for.

It comes with time. I try not to correct her much, but I do repeat the word back to her correctly.

Oh - for awhile, potty and bye sounded IDENTICAL. Made for a lot of pee on the floor! But now its pretty clear which one she is saying.

I'm not worried about in the sense I think she needs speech therapy or anything. More I just was wondering if anybody know the best way to deal with it. Especially concerning all the miscommunication and helping with her frustration on not being able to say things correctly. I figure it will get better with time (and certainly has since she started talking) but I was just wondering if there was anything we could do to help her in the meantime?

I had to laugh at your potty examples. We ended up teaching her to say peepee because we had the same problem and we weren't sure if she actually had to go or not! For awhile she was just saying pee and we didn't know if she wanted the potty, the letter p or papai (DH). But I think the overlap with words is our biggest problem.

[Baby_Cakes]

Hmm. In that case, I ask DD to repeat herself a few times, and if I just can't get it, I say, "Im so sorry, bubba, mommy has no clue what you're trying to say. Can you show me?" And usually that works.

[St. Margaret]

My tip would be sign language! It really helped when DD was learning all these words and I wasn't always sure-- the combo of the approximated sign and approximated word would be enough for me to figure out what she meant. Like, a "buh" sound plus hands together was ball, but "buh" plus a hand pinching was bird. Also helped when phone was sort of "sone" which I had a mental block on remembering! She would sign it and really wanted to see my phone! Baby Signing Time and the Signing Time DVDs are fantastic, if you do any TV. You can find them at the library a lot.

[jnet24]

Well I am lucky, I guess in a way, my DS has a severe Phonological Delay, and pretty much has the language of a almost 4 year old but can only pronounce words like a 18-24 month old. I have had alot of practice deciphering 18-24 language skills. It really helps me now that my 21 month old is talking up a storm. I know that doesn't help you at all, so here is what I do with my almost 4 year old. We use a lot of sign. Even though we stopped for a long time, we pick it up. I use it for words that sound almost nothing like the real word. So he says "duick"for book, so i helped him learn to always pair it with the sign. Same thing for cereal. So really for words that are impossible to figure out. We also help him to tell us another way, harder for a toddler, but still a good skill to learn. Where is it at? Can you hold it? That kinda stuff. I never act like I understand him, when I don't. The speech poeple say that is confusing for them. I know you aren't worried speechwise, just wanted to add that in. ANd if all else fails we pick him up to physically grab it. Good luck I know it can be a challenage but it does get easier.