or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Need to vent a bit. Have a friend who always seems to need to 'one-up' me.*Updated situation fixed it's self*
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Need to vent a bit. Have a friend who always seems to need to 'one-up' me.*Updated situation... - Page 2

post #21 of 34
How sad is it that she can never think of stuff to share about her kid without reminders from your FB status?
post #22 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Geez, she sounds really insensitive. I bet the break-in was so scary, I'm sorry that happened!

It sounds like you're making a good choice by backing off from her for now.
:

Only, : maybe you could let her "borrow" a few more status updates first? Stuff that'll be really obvious to her IRL friends that she was lying? "My dd loves to recite sonnets!"

Or "I just read The Higher Education of J. Philip Stone by Paul Sheldon"

Or post about a book you did read and make a huge deal about something that never happened.

And a couple hours after she "borrows" the plant, you delete your post.
post #23 of 34
Sometimes when we finally back up a bit and look at our friends and how they treat us, we realize they were never really our friends. I think this woman is just bad news. For someone to call you dumb or imply such is not very friendly. I'd stop pursuing this friendship if it were me. {{hugs}}
post #24 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravensong13 View Post
I hate talking about this, but I figure venting about it here will keep me from whining about this in rl....maybe, lol.

I have a very good friend who has a dd very close in age to mine. We do a lot together, as do our children. She's always been a little eccentric and outgoing ( which I LOVE her for btw) but lately she has been seeming to need to 'one-up' me on almost EVERYTHING I talk to her about. Mostly this takes place on facebook, lame I know. I'll post something about my dd so my mother can know and not even an hour later my friend posts something about her dd, similar, but different and always just a bit 'better' than what my dd just did( ex. I say "dd just counted to 10, I'm proud". Friend says, " my dd just counted to ten in french, yup my kid's smarter than you!") Or I'll tell her about something interesting I did or read and I'll see later that day that she has posted about it on facebook claiming it was something she did and that everyone should be super impressed with her. It has come to the point that I don't feel I can use this particular social network to convey things to my family anymore, for fear of her jumping all over it. I felt for a little while that I was just being silly or maybe jealous in a way that she seemed to be taking ideas from me and getting attention for it, but since it has been involving things about my child I'm just plain annoyed with her.

Has anyone had friends like this before? I am being too sensitive? I'm usually such a confrontation avoider but I'm feeling like I should bring it up before I let it stew for too long and ruin our friendship.
I am not a fan of facebook. You really cannot relate it to relationship. I would not put one ounce of energy trying to interpret anything on FB. My advice really is if you want to use FB to communicate with family, then limit it to family. So many people are using FB as a substitute for relationship.

The way she related to you at your home/playdate, however, that you described in a later post? I would talk with her about how critical she is. Does she realize it? I would talk it out with her, without accusing her or ending your friendship, and see how she responds to your experience of her. This, I would do in person!

Good luck. If it is a neighbor or acquaintance who is critical of me, I tend to ignore it or gracefully let it slide depending on the situation. But if a friend were treating me like that IRL? I would have to address it early on and find out where their heart is.

post #25 of 34
i would def take a break from her. how long of a break... not sure. i don't do fb but that sounds annoying! but i bet you are right im sure she is feeling pretty bad about herself so she is insulting you to make herself feel better? which in the long run she will regret when you aren't her friend anymore
post #26 of 34
I think that backing away from this "friend" is a good thing. To express anything but sympathy/empathy regarding a home invasion is pretty ridiculous. I had a similar experience (some drunk woman just entered our home, used our toilet, and passed out on our couch... kind of funny in retrospect, but yikes), and it is SCARY SCARY SCARY! If she can't even empathize under THOSE circumstances, then she needs to be without you for a while. Natural consequences (Y).
post #27 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
Sometimes when we finally back up a bit and look at our friends and how they treat us, we realize they were never really our friends. I think this woman is just bad news.
yeah, one time I was talking to my therapist about a friend I was having problems with, and my counselor paused for a moment, speechless, and then said,

"Linda, what do you like about this person?"

I had to really think about it, and eventually realized I didn't like much at all about her.
post #28 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravensong13 View Post
I can handle online issues for the most part but the fact that I was feeling vulnerable and shook up and she treated me like dirt was just the last straw.I told dh that I'm not going to invite her to things anymore or make a point of hanging out. I feel like I've put up with a TON of bs from her and she can figure out whatever it is that she's dealing with that's making her so mean on her own.
Um, yeah. Drop her like a hot potato. She's no friend at all. Yikes.

Sorry, mama.
post #29 of 34
my bff is not on my fb, i politely declined whe she tried to add me stating i need a private place
Posted via Mobile Device
post #30 of 34
Wow. How scary about the home invasion! I am really sorry that happened.

and sorry about your friend. She sounds toxic.
post #31 of 34
Thread Starter 

I know it has been a while but things seem to have fixed themselves... well in a way at least. I think she caught on that there was some weirdness and has been backing away from the friendship on her own. The funny thing is that, while this is what I wanted, it still stings a bit. I am being obviously replaced by a 'new' friend and not invited to things that I used to do with this friend and another mutual friend of ours. One would think that the 'high school' drama would have stayed in high school! Thank you for all of the good advice, it's nice to have these forums to come and talk about things and be taken seriously smile.gif

post #32 of 34

Even though it does *sting* a bit to see the friend move on with your other friend just remember the way she made you feel. I feel sorry for the other friend,because eventually that negativity will be turned on to her.Right now they are in the honeymoon phase,lol.Either that or they might both be nagative.Be polite to them when encountered, but fill your day with others.

 

Glad you are OK following the stranger invasion incident. While I am crazy about locking all doors and windows to prevent(well lessen) the risk of  home invasion I would NEVER berate someone for leaving their doors unlocked. If you look at the cases where families have faced home invasion there are few if any cases where the adult(s) were able to fight of the person(s).She can talk all she wants,but she can only guess what she would do.Only those who have been through it can tell you how it felt.Most are to stunned to even react.

Wishing you more peaceful days ahead!

post #33 of 34

When someone is just using to to gratify their own need to one up someone, it is not such a bad thing to be replaced. 

post #34 of 34

hug.gif

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Need to vent a bit. Have a friend who always seems to need to 'one-up' me.*Updated situation fixed it's self*