Starting DH down the GD path, and biting

[cristeen]

DS is 12 mo, his bday is this week. He's crawling, walking a little, and only has a few words. But he has 8 teeth, and he uses them a LOT. I haven't been able to figure out a pattern. Sometimes he's hungry, sometimes he's tired, sometimes he wants food (vs a bottle), and the rest of the time i cant figure out. I've tried distraction, i've tried physically moving him away, i've tried shrieking in pain, ignoring, saying no bite... Nothing works. At this point i mostly just put my hand on his forehead to keep his mouth away from me while saying no bite and let him get pissed. And i dont mean hes biting while nursing, he'll actually be playing and then decide it's biting time, crawl over and find a convenient spot. Toe, knee, he's caught DH on the inner thigh. If he can get a hand or arm, he's not picky. And this has been going on for weeks.

So, the other night DH was reading bedtime stories and i hear "ouch, don't bite me!" and a few minutes later i hear it again, and then a third time, followed by the distinctive sound of a smack and then a wailing child. Which of course got me running in there to comfort DS, chastise DH and take over bedtime.

I thought we were clear on "no hitting", but apparently he's at the end of his rope w the biting and lacks the tools to fall back on. I made the point to him that he's not teaching DS a darned thing except to fear him, which i know is a big thing for him and not what he wants. (he was abused, and doesn't want to walk that path) So it made him stop and think. So now i need some recommendations for good books on how to proceed. He will not read them, most likely, it will be up to me to read him excerpts. He would be more open to books that dont come across as completely crunchy.

[CherryBombMama]

[April Dawn]

We went through the biting thing at the same age. I got some wonderful advice on this board; here's the thread from back in June when my son was 13 months: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...767&highlight=

The best pieces of advice on that thread were the suggestion to roughhouse more with him and the suggestion that he might be trying to kiss me. It turns out they were right! When he gets all worked up and is having fun with me, he often would bite at me, and I finally realized he just wanted very physical interaction. Sometimes I look at him and just have to give him a big hug or smooch on him because I love him so much. I think sometimes he feels the same way, and he just didn't understand that biting hurt me and DH. I will now often "wrestle" with him, or pick him up and spin him around, and he loves it. While we're playing like that, I will sometimes see that little mouth going for me, and I remind him "just kiss!" and he will do it! I found that telling him a negative such as "no biting!" was much less effective than giving him a positive alternative and telling him to kiss. I always tell him "thank you!" when he gives me a kiss, too, and he grins - he likes knowing that he did the right thing!

Those things totally solved the problem for a couple of months - it took a week or so for him to learn what I meant when I said "kiss," but once he learned it, the problem got much better. Be warned, though, the biting did come back when his one year old molars recently came in, but it was an obvious difference - he wanted to bite everything he came in contact with for a couple of weeks, not just me and DH. I just gave him cold washcloths to chew on, and then he got over it again. Good luck!

[BellaClaudia]

If you ever had a little cat or dog then you certainly could see similar pattern. Once they have young teeth they like to use them a lot.. and there is much more to it then just liking to use them.. it is about their body growing, reconfiguring jaws, itchy gums ... etc.. and after all they are working on teeth all the time at this age.

Therefore best bet is not to discipline for what is a natural need, instead the trick is to provide an ample stuff to release the preassure and need for biting.

Of course one can yell at the puppy or kitten for chewing on the finger or best pair of one's shoes but just imagine how frustrating it is for them not to be able to do what they are designed to do

So if you don't want a puppy to go after your designer shoes then give him some old slipper and problem solved.. the same trick more less works with the kids at this stage.. if you don't want to be bitten then you just give something instead, they will be really grateful because they simply need to bite and disciplining them makes it more frustrating for them as imagine being panish for your bodily functions or needs.. that we as human come with regardless of what we think about them


It took me a while and lots of blue marks till I figured that one out. Then once we bought some organic stuffy toy and keep it handy or used a top of a sippy separated from sippy (free of bpa) and gave to dd whenever she was going into biting mode then everhting was going much much better.

Good luck and hug

[confustication]

My 12 month old crawled down the hallway with a teether between his teeth growling like a dog yesterday. The need to chew/bite is very real, you need to create an acceptable outlet for it.


Check out chewy tubes- they are fabulous for my 2 yo, and my 1 yo is known to snag them on a regular basis as well. They hold up a lot better than most 'teethers' as they are designed for bigger/stronger kids.

[ssh]

Originally Posted by cristeen

He would be more open to books that dont come across as completely
crunchy.

The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland doesn't come across as crunchy but does advocate a responsive nurturing parenting style. It's about how our parenting effects our baby's and child's brain development and it's got some of the 30 years of research listed in the back. It approaches normal child development from a neurological point of view and approaches how to handle misbehavior by pointing out the causes. Here's a link, http://www.amazon.com/Science-Parent...der_0756618800 . I found it at the library and then bought a good used copy on amazon.