Adjusting to two

[MommaLura]

So, today was my first time alone with my almost 3 year old and my newborn. I did ok getting him breakfast, played building blocks and cars a little. But, dd couldn't fall asleep or stay asleep. I tried laying her down the one time she did fall asleep and she woke right up. I didn't get any food and finally got water an hour after ds woke up. Ds and I need time together to play, craft, ect. I can have one on one time with him in the evening, but I don't know how to handle both during the day I can't seem to get dd comfortable in the sling or wrap, but she's tolerable of all my fails, lol. Dh came home early to take ds to music class and I'm with dd who is finally napping. I'm not stressed yet, but obviously I need some adjustments. Nothing in this house us going to get done and I feel overwhelmed. Any advice? I know I'm not alone and I know we'll get through this, but I need reassurance and ideas

(it really helps that ds *adores* his sister, otherwise I think I'd go crazy, lol)

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
Adjusting to #2 is rough... give yourselves time to find a new normal..... I found that my days alone with DD1 were very different of our days once DD2 came along. Your little one may take some time to learn how to fall asleep in the carrier, or she may just be a more alert baby than your first was.
I'd put DD in the wrap and go for a llloooonnnnnggg walk, just the three of you, looking at nature, collecting specimens, etc. This will help your older child feel like he's got your attention, while your little one is snuggled close to you.
We also did book time (reading to DD1) while I nursed DD2, who often fell asleep, and then we'd read for an hour while #2 napped in my arms. We did some nursing at the table while DD1 did art, of the more independent type than the type where I had to hover right over her.
It took awhile, but I also learned to drop my expectations on getting things done for awhile. I learned to love my crockpot and my bread machine, and I learned to do most household chores with DD2 in a carrier. DD1 got some assignments to help me with the chores.
Take your time, you will find a new balace eventually.
Good luck, and enjoy this time with your LOs.
~maddymama

[mommariffic]

I have a 3 year old and a just about 3 month old

It gets easier!

DS [the baby] will lay under his play mat now, so I try to get chores/cooking down during that time. I refuse to cook with him in the carrier because it feels unsafe to me, so that's my time. Or I put him in the bouncy chair on the floor in the kitchen away from anything hot and he can watch us cook.

During the morning he's most cheerful, so I try to get everyone to play. DD can hang out on the floor and we can do blocks, do a craft etc.

I also try to get out of the house every single day. A walk, the park, a friends house, running errands, Barnes and Noble, etc. I either carry DS or I have him in his stroller. A change of scenery does everyone good!

I also try to drop some stuff. Like right now we are having quiet time, because DS will take a good hour nap -- so I needed a break and put a video on [Little Bear] for us to watch before park. I do NOT feel guilty for this!

Also: bed time routine is hard. That's one thing I struggle with but DH helps if he can. I try to get them both "down" by 7:30 but you know, it doesn't always work

It gets easier!