or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › When does it stop being it?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

When does it stop being it? - Page 2

post #21 of 25
For me hearing the heartbeat on a Doppler the first time (around 11 weeks, I think), was all it took. We don't do ultrasounds, but I could see that that would have a similar impact: "Whoa, there's really someone in there!"

I'm really enjoying this one's movement, too. I can't remember how I felt about that the first time around.
post #22 of 25
Thread Starter 
thanks for all these wonderful replies!!!

I totally get how a newborn is still a bit "it-like".

I guess I'm really looking forward to the second trimester... feeling it move, then later, DH being able to feel it move.

I love Blueberry. I have some names picked out and whenever I think of it with one of the names I love it gives me shivers. Good ones.

But a non-gender name sounds like fun for now.
post #23 of 25
For me it was an emotional thing. Not necessarily an event. With number one I felt like it was an 'it' in an ambiguous kind of way. I loved my babe so much, talked to him all the time, prayed for him, but just had no concept of what 'feeling like a mother' was, so he was still an 'it' until sometime after he was born. Actually, my very first thoughts the first time I held him (moments after he emerged from my body) were, "What does this mean?" LOL Well, it was a slow, sweet falling in love.

With my second I didn't feel like he was my son (even though we had found out his gender this time--partially because I felt so disconnected and thought it would help) until I had him in my arms. Somehow he remained an 'it' the entire pregnancy. I had some fears about if I would love him as much as my first son (my first has special needs, so I was actually afraid I would not love a 'normal' child the same). As soon as he was born I knew I loved him deeply, and I felt connected to him. It was immediate.

With this pregnancy, it was through an emotional journey, not an event, that I came to feel deeply connected to this boy already. I feel like I already know him, already know how to parent him (we'll see, eh?). So, who knows how these things happen. I think it is different for each mother, and however it happens is okay. I think the first time is a little different too, simply because experiencing pregnancy has so many thrills an preparing your lives for a baby can be such a fun task. Anyway, the second trimester is something to look forward too. It does make things more real when people around you can readily recognize that you are pregnant.
post #24 of 25
It felt like an "it" for me until we found out the sex at 20 weeks. If you don't intend to have an ultrasound or find out the sex, it may feel like an it until birth. I don't know, because that's the only way I've done it. We are planning on having an ultrasound this time too at 20 weeks and finding out the sex But after reading these posts, it seems like it's different for everyone.
post #25 of 25
For me, it's only an "it" until I think I know the gender (I was so sure with DS I referred to him by name through the pregnancy)

As for it being a baby and the realism of it all, that starts for me from the moment I get my BFP. Oh, and I see we are both due in May.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › When does it stop being it?