Hi Mamas,
I'm pretty distraught and would appreciate some guidance and support right now.
My husband and I have had our problems and have been working through them in both individual and couples counseling for over a year (alternating when we couldn't get childcare, etc). We were doing pretty well for a while. Then, about a month ago, weI had a terrible argument which seemed to last all day. I returned home with my son mid-afternoon, DH seemed calmer, acted like nothing had happened. I later discovered that he had been drinking. After they woke from their nap, I questioned him about it and he ignored me. Later, he acted resentfully, then exploded by saying negative things about me in front of and directly to our son (3). At this point, my son was eating dinner. He stormed in and out of the house, slamming doors, yelling, etc under the guise of housework while we were arguing. (I know, it's strange) He reentered the home, got in my face and really scared me by acting in a threatening manner. So, I called the cops. He left the house while I was on hold with them (so my son never saw cops take his dad away or anything like that) I didn't press charges, I just needed him removed from the home for our safety. He stayed away for a few days. We went to therapy together and he agreed to do AA and anger management classes. He is a SAHD, family lives out of state, and at that time did not have a job, so when the therapist asked if he could come back and stay on the couch, I said I felt on the spot but agreed anyway since he did not have an alternate place to go.
So, he's been back for a month, trying hard, going to AA, doing anger mgmt, etc. The first two weeks, things were better. My son seemed fine. We both talked with him and assured him it was ok to express his feelings. Also, assured him it wasn't his fault, etc.
During the last two weeks, my son has been resistant to spending time alone with him. He has also been telling him "I want a new daddy, I don't want you" "I want you to leave and not come back, etc" According to my husband, these comments seem to come out of the blue. They will be playing nicely together and then, he'll make one of these comments.
We're not really sure what to do here, apart from sitting him down again to encourage him to share his feelings.
I welcome your support and guidance.
Thanks.
I'm pretty distraught and would appreciate some guidance and support right now.
My husband and I have had our problems and have been working through them in both individual and couples counseling for over a year (alternating when we couldn't get childcare, etc). We were doing pretty well for a while. Then, about a month ago, weI had a terrible argument which seemed to last all day. I returned home with my son mid-afternoon, DH seemed calmer, acted like nothing had happened. I later discovered that he had been drinking. After they woke from their nap, I questioned him about it and he ignored me. Later, he acted resentfully, then exploded by saying negative things about me in front of and directly to our son (3). At this point, my son was eating dinner. He stormed in and out of the house, slamming doors, yelling, etc under the guise of housework while we were arguing. (I know, it's strange) He reentered the home, got in my face and really scared me by acting in a threatening manner. So, I called the cops. He left the house while I was on hold with them (so my son never saw cops take his dad away or anything like that) I didn't press charges, I just needed him removed from the home for our safety. He stayed away for a few days. We went to therapy together and he agreed to do AA and anger management classes. He is a SAHD, family lives out of state, and at that time did not have a job, so when the therapist asked if he could come back and stay on the couch, I said I felt on the spot but agreed anyway since he did not have an alternate place to go.
So, he's been back for a month, trying hard, going to AA, doing anger mgmt, etc. The first two weeks, things were better. My son seemed fine. We both talked with him and assured him it was ok to express his feelings. Also, assured him it wasn't his fault, etc.
During the last two weeks, my son has been resistant to spending time alone with him. He has also been telling him "I want a new daddy, I don't want you" "I want you to leave and not come back, etc" According to my husband, these comments seem to come out of the blue. They will be playing nicely together and then, he'll make one of these comments.
We're not really sure what to do here, apart from sitting him down again to encourage him to share his feelings.
I welcome your support and guidance.
Thanks.
